四人英语搞笑对话,急求! 。3分钟左右
1.I had an amusing experience last year. After I had left a small village in the south of France, I drove on to the next town. On the way, a young man waved to me. I stopped and he asked me for a lift. As soon as he had got into the car, I said good morning to him in French and he replied in the same language. Apart from a few words, I do not know any French at all. Neither of us spoke during the journey. I had nearly reached the town, when the young man suddenly said, very slowly, "Do you speak English?' As I soon learnt, he was English himself!'
2.The secretary told me that Mr. Harmsworth would see me. I felt very nervous when I went into his office. He did not look up from his desk when I entered. After I had sat down, he said that business was very bad. He told me that the firm could not afford to pay such large salaries. Twenty people had already left. I knew that my turn had come.
'Mr.Harmsworth,' I said in a weak voice.
'Don't interrupt,' he said.
Then he smiled and told me I would receive an extra thousand pounds a year!
3.After I had had lunch at a village pub, I looked for my bag. I had left it on a chair beside the door and now it wasn't there! As I was looking for it, the landlord came in.
'Did you have a good meal?" he asked.
'Yes, thank you,' I answered, 'but I can't pay the bill. I haven't got my bag.'
The landlord smiled and immediately went out. In a few minutes he returned with my bag and gave it back to me.
'I'm very sorry,' he said. 'My dog had taken in into the garden. He often does this!'
1.Today, I want to tell you a joke, the three countries onto ghosts, the Chinese, French, British, gather together,they are squandering their respective countries to see whose spending even more strongly that the French people to put only rats drank whiskey irrigation, drinking,No go rat holes that rats on the dizzy, the British Brandy also filling the rats, the rats drank just afterHalo quickly on the Chinese people to the country's irrigation Erguotou mice, rats drilling holes.While Britain and France onto China onto the ghosts of ghosts laugh when I saw the rats out from the pit, holding a stick, shouting, cats,You give up.
2.Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
从前,有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着,那傻瓜用手指着头说:“很痛,我的头伤了。”接着,有指着背,鼻子,说它们都伤了。
那医生想了一会儿,说:“你的手指伤了。”
3.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
4.Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
他就要死了吗?
一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说:刚才医生告诉我,在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出,许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然,男人回答说:但是他只给了我十片。
The Cohens were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No fancy(想象的,奇特的) stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic(斯多葛派的,禁欲主义) as you," said the dentist admiringly(钦佩地) . "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Cohen turned to his wife Becky. "Show him, honey."
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