赵本山小品功夫台词翻译英文

求赵本山的小品功夫的台词~

小品《功夫》台词


赵本山：听说他----不当厨师，改防忽悠热线了，竟敢扬言再不上当受骗了，残酷的现实已直逼我心理防线了，今年我要不卖他点啥，承诺三年的话题我就没法跟观众兑现了。
徒弟1：师傅，进去吧！
赵：别着急，先拨个骚扰电话。（打电话）通了。你好！
范伟：你好。这里是借你借你一双慧眼防忽悠咨询热线，我是资深上当者老范，凭借多年的上当经验，对你是否被忽悠作出明确判断：有人卖拐，请按1；有人卖车，请按2；有人出脑筋急转弯，请按3；有人卖担架，直接拨110。
赵：你好！
范：你好！
赵：请问您是范师傅吧？
范：你是哪位？
赵：我是……有一个问题想直接咨询您老一下。
范：恩，你说。
赵：我家有一头老母猪啊，黑地白花的啊，早晨一起来打开家门以每小时80脉的速度向前疯跑，“哐砀”撞树上，死了！
范：撞死了？这头猪的视力是不是有问题呀？
赵：俩眼睛都是1.5的。
范：会不会有什么心理疾病啊?
赵：心理可健康呢!
范：那怎么会撞死呢？
赵：那头猪脑筋不会急转弯呗！
范：我说你这个人不按套路出牌啊！出脑筋急转弯你得按3哪！那既然这样的话，我也咨询你一个问题。
赵：你说。
范：过年了，我们家什么年货也没买，就剩下一头猪和一头驴。你说我是先杀猪呢，还是先杀驴呢？
赵：那你先杀……（和徒弟讲）给你们两个机会。
徒弟1：先杀驴。
赵：先杀驴。
范：恭喜你，答对了。猪也是这么想的。
赵：小样！悲哀！真让我为你感到悲哀！眼看就要独闯江湖了，这怎么能让我放心的下呢？
徒弟2：师傅，先杀猪好了。
赵：那驴也是这么想的！我告诉你，就这个问题，你先杀谁都不好使。我为什么没回答呢？就因为我考虑它是有问题的。看见了吗？他已经从当年的一根筋，现在成长到两头堵了！
徒弟1：师傅，他太厉害了，咱回去吧！
赵：不能回去！卖拐，把他忽悠瘸了；卖车，把他忽悠蔫了；在十分钟内不把他摆平，我就没法跟你们俩再当教师爷了。
徒弟齐说：师傅领进门，忽悠在个人！
赵：好。看我的眼色行事，进去！美了他了！
徒弟：请问，范师傅在吗？
范：哪位？请问你们咨询……（看着赵）哎呀！哎呀！呀！呀！呀！……这是什么造型啊？挺别致呀！非常6+7呀？！这当年叱咤风云的大忽悠怎么落到这幅田地啦？苍天呀，大地呀，是那位天使大姐给我出的这口气呀？猪撞树上了，你撞猪上了吧？追尾了是不是啊？咋又改三了呢？
赵：三年了，我都想死你了。
范：忽悠！
赵：我是向你忏悔来了。
范：接着忽悠！
赵：有我徒弟作证。
范：组团忽悠我来了。不好使了，大忽悠。只要我们这些善良的人对你提高警惕了你还会什么？不久会几个脑筋急转弯？地上一个猴，树上七个猴，这是两个猴，也可能八个猴，
赵：可能三个猴，还可能九个猴。
范：怎么又变了呢？
赵：怀孕一个猴。
范：有意思吗？
赵：没意思。不是给你弄脑筋急转弯那个初级阶段了，我是向你陪礼道歉来了。三年了，在这个世界最对不起的人就是范厨师。多么好的人。我常跟你们说，你说我骗他干啥？多么忠厚老实，你说我，你打我两下，你下不去手。你骂我两句，你张不开嘴。这样，反正你原谅我也来了，不原谅我也来了，原谅不原谅我都带着诚意扑面而来。
范：呀呀呀！还扑面。你看，忽悠，嘿呀，接着忽悠。
赵：把我搀起来呀。
范：能站起来呀？呀呀呀。走，走两步。走两步，来，走。咳，讹人是不是啊？是不是讹人？大家都看着呢，出现什么意外跟我没关系啊。你老整着悬灯笼干啥？你老站起来呀？有什么事你赶紧说好不好？
赵：你想听吗？
范：我想听。
赵：听完你信吗？
范：你只要站起来我就信。
赵：那你撤吧，我能站起来了。
范：哼，说啊。
赵：说来话长了。记得那是2003年的第一场雪，比2002年的晚了一些。
范：你整歌词干啥呀？有什么事快直接说。
赵：我不跟你玩虚的了，今天我就向你道歉来了。
赵：上货！眼熟吗？
范：这是你忽悠我的那几百块钱呀？
范：分文没动。
范：这是那块表？
赵：戴在手上就没走过字。
范：这，哥----
赵：我们两个恩怨应该了结了吧？还有它，这几年，耽误我们两个之间感情的就是这个罪魁祸首的就是这个轮椅。今天我必须当着你的面，把它砸碎。
徒弟：师傅，不能砸呀。师傅，这轮椅是你老哥俩重归于好的见证呀。
赵：不要乱说，我，不能拉我。
徒弟：师傅，哎哟，师傅！
范：大哥，你要砸就砸我吧。大哥你太有诚意啦！孩子们说得对，它不仅是我们重归于好的见证，更是我以后避免上当的警钟。我收藏了。
赵：不行，学生们花钱给我做的，你怎么能收藏呢？
范：好, 多钱我给呀。
赵：花多少钱啦？
徒弟：两千。
范：我，两千。
赵：我给两千五。
范：我，三千。
赵：我，三千五。
范：我四千。
赵：我五千。
范：成交。
赵：你范厨师。哎哎。
范：你喊的五千，我落的棰，成交！
赵：那不对，你记错了，怎么喊的？
生：我听是范厨师喊的。
范：什么，什么呀？
生：不是，师傅喊的。
赵：乱了乱了。这样啊，谁喊的不要紧。你看，咱们捋一捋，有点乱，谁先喊的。
范：我先喊的。
赵：你喊多少？
范：我，两千。
赵：我，两千五。
范：三千。
赵：三千五。
范：四千。
赵：四千五。
范：五千。
赵：你看看，清楚了。
范：哎，有点乱，有点乱。
赵：你再算算。
范：谁也别说话，我自己算，自己捋。
赵：你就自己乱了。
范：你别说话了，两千，两千五，三千，三千五，四千，四千五，五千，哎
赵：你捋反了，两千是你叫的。
范：两千，两千五，三千。
赵：不是。
范：两千，两千五，三千，三千五，四千，四千五，五千。
赵：对呀。
范：哎呀。
生：我记错了，是你喊的。
范：不对，不对，大哥，我喊完四千，你直接喊五千，对不对？
观众：对！
赵：这样啊，乱了。既然咱哥俩，你同意收藏，咱们再喊一次，是不是，听明白这五千到底是谁喊的。起价多少？
生：两千。
范：我，两千。
赵：（落椎）成交！这回不乱了。
范：你不往上叫了？
赵：我怕又喊乱了。
生：这回是你喊的。
范：哎，那行，别动，别动，这轮椅是我的了，别动，我给钱，两千。
赵：老弟，按理说不应该要钱，但是你要面子，你这个人就要面子，是不是？不应该管你要，但是，但是不给又不是你的性格。
范：给你我就上当了。
赵：上当了？我给你说，压根呀，刚开始我就没想……
范：改抢了。
赵：你理解错了，我想找你要……
范：别装了，从你一进屋，你分别用了苦肉计，欲擒故纵计，师徒配合砸车计，稀里糊涂突然落椎计，我只用了一计。
赵：将计就计。
范：送你一计。
赵：走为上计。
范：不送！
赵：失败了，知道因为啥失败吗？这一个厨师不看菜谱，改看上兵法了，撤！
徒弟：(向范)师傅！
范：哎哎师傅师傅
赵：干啥玩意，跪哪去了，我在这呢，干啥你俩，干啥呀？
徒弟：师傅，太对不起了，你这忽悠智商太低了，跟你也学不到啥玩意。你该干啥去，赶紧走吧，一会赶不上二路汽车了，都。
赵：哎呀！
徒弟：师傅在上，受徒儿一拜！
赵：哎呀妈呀，呀，这个世界太疯狂了，耗子都给猫当伴娘了，哎妈呀!
徒弟：师傅！请收下我们吧！
范：哎哎，孩子们，苦海无崖，回头是岸，学好就好，过年了，给你们包红包去，包红包。
赵：悲哀，的确悲哀，这钱你俩能要吗？上月我没给你俩发工资吗？悲哀！
范：来吧，一人一个，拿好拿好。
赵：悲哀
徒弟：谢师傅
范：哎呀，别别，别客气
徒弟：师傅，师傅，拿下！
赵：反奸计。
范：哎呀，防不胜防! 可是大忽悠，我不服你。你忽悠来，忽悠去，我坐的不还是轮椅吗？
赵：你想要啥？
范：你给观众的承诺呢？
赵：什么承诺？
范：你的担架呢？
赵：自己开发！
范：哎！
赵：这就是为你定做的，如果短，还可以加长。
范：哎呀，为了我你是煞费苦心啊，多亏我计高一筹，打开红包。过年了，送你一副对联：
拐一年摇一年 缘分啊
吃一堑长一智 谢谢啊
赵：我再给你补一个横批吧
自学成才！

赵本山小品 《 功夫》台词如下：
赵本山：听说他，不当厨师改防忽悠热线了，竟感扬言再不上当受骗了，残酷的现实以直逼我心理防线了，今年我要不卖他点儿啥，承诺三年的话题我就没法跟观众兑现了！
蔡维利：师傅，咱进去吧。
赵本山：别着急，先拨个骚扰电话！
范伟：您好，这里是见你，见你，一眼会一眼防忽悠咨询热线，我是自身上当者老范，凭借多年上当经验，对你是否被忽悠了做出明确判断。有人卖拐请按1，有人卖车请按2，有人出脑筋急转弯儿请按3，有人卖担架直接拨110！
赵本山：你好！
范伟：你好！
赵本山：请问您是范师傅吧？
范伟：啊~你是哪位？
赵本山：我是~~~有一个问题想直接咨询你老一下。
范伟：啊，你说！
赵本山：我们家有头老母猪啊，黑地儿白花的，早晨起来打开圈门以每小时80迈的速度向前疯跑，咣当撞树上死了！
范伟：撞死了？这个猪的视力是不是有什么问题啊？
赵本山：俩眼睛都是1.5的！
范伟：会不会有什么心理疾病啊？
赵本山：心理可健康了呢！
范伟：那怎么会撞死呢？
赵本山：因为那头猪不会脑筋急转弯呗！悲哀，真让我替你感到悲哀，眼看就要独闯江湖了，这怎么能让我放心的下？
王晓虎：师傅，先杀猪好了！
赵本山：那驴也是这么想的！我告诉你，就这个问题你先杀谁都不好使！我为什么没回答呢，就因为我考虑他是有问题的！~~诶呀，看到没？他已经从当年的一根颈，现在成长到两头犊了！
蔡维利：师傅，他太厉害了，我看咱回去吧！
赵本山：不行，卖拐把他忽悠瘸了，卖车把他忽悠嗫了，在10分钟之内不把他摆平，我就没法跟你俩当教师爷了！
蔡维利、王晓虎：师傅领进门，忽悠在个人！
赵本山：好，看我的眼色行事，进去！美了他了，看看，呀哈，还跑了，往哪跑！
蔡维利：请问范厨师在吗？
范伟：诶，哪位？你们咨询~~~诶呀诶呀诶呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀，这是什么造型啊，挺别致啊，非常六加七啊，这当年赤叉风云的大忽悠，怎么落到这步天地了，苍天啊，大地啊，这是哪位天使大姐替我出的这口气啊。猪撞树上了，你撞猪上了吧，追尾是不是啊！咋又改3了呢？
赵本山：三年了，我都想死你了！
范伟：忽悠！
赵本山：我是向你忏悔来了！
范伟：接着忽悠！
赵本山：有我徒弟做证！
蔡维利、王晓虎：恩！
范伟：组团忽悠我来了啊，不好使了大忽悠，只要我们这些善良的人对你提高警惕，你还会什么？啊？不就会几个脑筋急转弯吗！地上1个猴，树上7个猴，既是两个猴，又是8个猴！
赵本山：也可能三个猴，还可能9个猴！
范伟：怎么又变了呢？
赵本山：怀孕一个猴！
范伟：呀呀能站起来啊没啥病啊诶呀呀呀呀走两步走两步诶诶诶诶，额人是不是？大伙都看着呢啊，出现什么意外跟我没关系啊！你老整这个悬的愣干啥，你赶紧站起来啊！有什么事你赶紧说好不好？
赵本山：你想听吗？
范伟：我想听！
赵本山：听完你信吗？
范伟：你只要站起来我就信！
赵本山：你撤吧，我能站起来！
范伟：说啊！
赵本山：我不跟你玩虚的了，今天我就向你道歉来了，上货！眼熟吗？
范伟：这就是你忽悠我那几百块钱？
赵本山：分文没动！
范伟：这是那块表？
赵本山：带在我手上就没走过字！
范伟：大哥！！~~
赵本山：我们俩的恩怨应该了结了吧，还有它，这几年耽误我们俩之间感情的就是这个罪魁祸首轮椅，今天我必须当这你的面把它砸碎！
范伟：大哥，要砸你就砸我吧，大哥你太有诚意了，孩子们说的对！它不仅是我们重归于好的见证，还是我以后避免上当的警钟，我收藏了！
赵本山：不行，孩子们花钱给我做的你怎么能收藏呢？
范伟：花多少钱我给啊！
赵本山：花多少钱啊？
蔡维利：两千！
范伟：我出两千！
赵本山：我给两千五！
范伟：我三千！
赵本山：我三千五！
范伟：我四千！
赵本山：我五千！
范伟：成交！
赵本山：给范厨师装上。
范伟：你喊的五千，我落得锤，成交！
赵本山：不对！你记错了，怎么喊的？
范伟：你看看！
赵本山：乱了，乱了啊！这样啊，谁喊的不要紧！你看咱们缕一缕啊，谁先喊的？
范伟：我先喊的！
赵本山：你喊多少？
范伟：我两千！
赵本山：我2500！
范伟：3000！
赵本山：3500！
范伟：4000！
赵本山：4500！
范伟：5000！
赵本山：你看看！
范伟：不对，我自己缕一缕啊！
赵本山：那你自己乱了！
范伟：你别说，2000250030003500400045005000！
赵本山：对啊！
王晓虎：我记错了，是师傅喊的！
范伟：不对，不对啊大哥，我喊的4000，你直接喊的5000对不对？对不对？
观众：对！！~~~~~~~~~~
赵本山：这样啊，乱了啊，既然咱哥俩呢，你同意收藏，咱们重喊一次，听明白这5000到底是谁喊的？那个！~~起价多少？
蔡维利：2000！
范伟：我2000！
赵本山：成交！这回不乱了！
范伟：不是，你不往上叫了啊？
赵本山：对，我怕喊乱了！
范伟：啊！别动啊，这轮椅是我的了！
赵本山：我跟你说老弟，按理来说不应该跟你要钱，你还死要面子，你应该管人要，但是~~
范伟：但是给你我就上当了！你别装了，从你一进屋，你分别用了苦肉计，遇擒故众计，师徒配合砸车计，犀利糊涂突然落锤计，我只用了一计！
赵本山：将计就计！
范伟：送你一计！
赵本山：走为上计！
范伟：不送！
赵本山：失败了，知道因为啥失败吗？他一个厨师不看菜谱看起兵法了，撤！
赵本山：干啥玩意儿啊，跪哪去了，我在这呢！
王晓虎：师傅，太对不起了，你那忽悠智商太底了，跟你也学不着啥玩意儿！
蔡维利：你该干啥就赶紧走吧，一会都赶不上二路汽车了都！
赵本山：悲哀！
蔡维利、王晓虎：师傅在上，受徒儿一拜！
赵本山：诶呀吗呀，呀呀呀呀！这个世界太疯狂了，耗子都给猫当伴娘了！我的妈呀！
蔡维利、王晓虎：师傅，请收下我们吧！
范伟：诶诶诶孩子们，书还无涯，回头是岸，学好就好啊，过年了给你们包红包去，啊，包红包啊！
赵本山：这钱你们能要吗？我上个月没给你俩发工资吗？悲哀，的确悲哀啊！
范伟：来吧，一人一个，拿好啊！
蔡维利、王晓虎：谢师傅！
蔡维利、王晓虎：师傅，拿下！
赵本山：哈哈哈，反歼计！
范伟：诶呀，防不胜防啊！可是大忽悠我不服你啊，你忽悠来忽悠去我做的不还是轮椅吗？
赵本山：你想要啥？
范伟：你的承诺呢？你的担架呢？
赵本山：自己开发！
范伟：诶！
赵本山：这就是为你定做的，如果短还可以加长！
范伟：诶呀，为了我你是煞费苦心啊，多亏我计高一筹，打开红包！
赵本山：恩？
范伟：过年啦，送你们一副对联：“拐一年摇一年缘分啊，吃一堑长一智谢谢啊！”
赵本山：我再给你补个横批吧：“自学成才”！

扩展资料：
《功夫》表演者：赵本山、范伟、蔡维利、王小虎。是2005年中央电视台春节联欢晚会上演出的小品，于2005年2月8日在CCTV1首播。
2005春节晚会小品《功夫》，也是赵本山“忽悠三部曲”系列小品的最后一部，前两部《卖拐》、《卖车》中赵本山扮演的忽悠大叔出尽了风头，将骗子刻画得入木三分。
在《卖拐》中，赵本山以行家里手自居，用一些貌似科学术语的语言忽悠范围。硬是把脸大忽悠成腿有问题，而且会转移。成功忽悠范伟买拐，一出骗局就此宣告成功。小品讽刺了那些性格多缺乏主见、人云亦云、听风是雨、盲目崇拜的人。
在《买车》中，赵本山变换忽悠方式，把拐杖换成了轮椅车，延续“卖假”系列的作品。小品继承了2001年春晚小品《卖拐》的幽默风格，夺得了当年春晚语言类节目一等奖。
在《功夫》中，范伟终于学会了“憋”，憋住劲儿就是不上当，最后终于战胜了赵本山。这个小品也获得当年春晚语言类节目一等奖。

Spring Festival Pieces "Kung Fu"

Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei, Cai Weili,王晓虎

Zhao Benshan: I have heard him, improperly cooks,忽悠hotline to prevent, and threatened to no longer dare to deception. Cruel reality has been almost a line of defense in my mind, this year I want to sell what little he promised three years on the topic I can not deliver a child with the audience.
A disciple: master into your
Zhao Benshan: Do not worry, be made by dialing a telephone harassment. (Dial in)
Bell. . . . (Phone rings)

Fan: Hello
Zhao Benshan: Hello
Wei Fan: This is the eye by an anti-忽悠your advice. . .

Spring Festival Pieces "Kung Fu"

Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei, Cai Weili,王晓虎

Zhao Benshan: I have heard him, improperly cooks,忽悠hotline to prevent, and threatened to no longer dare to deception. Cruel reality has been almost a line of defense in my mind, this year I want to sell what little he promised three years on the topic I can not deliver a child with the audience.
A disciple: master into your
Zhao Benshan: Do not worry, be made by dialing a telephone harassment. (Dial in)
Bell. . . . (Phone rings)

Fan: Hello
Zhao Benshan: Hello
Wei Fan: This is an eye by your anti-忽悠Hotline, I experienced the old上当者Fan, taken by virtue of many years experience, whether you make a clear忽悠judge, it was卖拐please press 1, press 2 car, It was a child is entitled Fast Thinking by 3, it was sold directly to a stretcher 110
Zhao Benshan: Hello
Fan: Hello
Zhao Benshan: Can you master your Fan
Wei Fan: ah, who you are?
Zhao Benshan: ~ I have a question you would like to direct the old look
Wei Fan: ah, you say
Zhao Benshan: We head home mother猪啊
Wei Fan: ah
Zhao Benshan: niger abuse of white flowers,
Wei Fan: ah
Zhao Benshan: the morning up to 80 frames per second speed step forward疯跑,咣frying pan into the trees, dead
Wei Fan: killed, ah, the pig's vision is not what is the problem with, ah,
Zhao Benshan: both eyes were 1.5
Wei Fan: What will the mental illness ah,
Zhao Benshan: can mental health of this
Wei Fan: how to kill the Na
Zhao Benshan:那头pig will not turn their brains Bai
Wei Fan: Oh

Wei Fan: I am the person that you do not pay attention to children, you are not in accordance with the licensing routines ah, entitled Fast Thinking that you have to press 3 Na, and that since the way, I also question consulting
Zhao Benshan: You said
Fan Wei: Chinese New Year, and
Zhao Benshan: TU
Wei Fan: What New Year, our family did not buy a pig on the left and a donkey, you say that I am a first先杀donkey or pig Na Na
Zhao Benshan:先杀you. . . Give you both an opportunity
A disciple: delicious donkey, donkey先杀
Zhao Benshan:先杀donkey
Wei Fan: Congratulations, you are correct, the pig-is also thought to
Zhao Benshan: something together. Hello --
Wei Fan: small for gestational age
Zhao Benshan: Hey, wow, sad, I really feel sad for you, we should see the political arena独闯, and how can I be assured that the ground,
Apprentice B: master, first pig Well,
Zhao Benshan: That is so like a donkey, and I tell you that on this issue so that you先杀bad one, I did not answer that because I consider it a problem to, ah, did not see that he had from the then a tendon, and now has grown to understand two
A pupil: teacher, he is too much, you go back to God
Zhao Benshan: You can not go back,卖拐her lame忽悠,忽悠Negin his car, and within 10 minutes in, I want him to be impartial, I can not abuse children when you were a teacher.

Apprentice: The master from the door, the individual忽悠
Zhao Benshan: Well, look at my cue, into the
Apprentice who: Good
Zhao Benshan: United States of him, he has to see,瞅瞅, Oh drink, but also run, where to go

Apprentice A: I would like to ask Fan chef in it?
Wei Fan: Oh Which, may I ask your advice. . . Oh - Oh,呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀, what shape it is, ah, very chic, ah, ah is 6 +7 - This was a big scold Fengyun wander how fell忽悠This step-by-step drawing fields? Fan: Ah heaven, the earth Ah, this is my eldest sister who angel of this tone ah, pig into a tree, you hit a pig, a rear-end is not, then suck it to three of the
Zhao Benshan: a three-year gap, I want you dead
Wei Fan:忽悠
Zhao Benshan: I am coming to you, repent
Wei Fan: Next忽悠
Zhao Benshan: my disciples to testify
Wei Fan: I come忽悠groups

Wei Fan: not to make a big忽悠, as long as we remain vigilant of these good people, and what you will not be a number of children entitled Fast Thinking it? The ground floor of a monkey, a tree seven (riding) a monkey, two monkeys not only is the monkey 8
Zhao Benshan: three monkeys may also may also be nine monkeys
Wei Fan: how has it changed
Zhao Benshan: a monkey pregnancy
Wei Fan: interesting to you?
Zhao Benshan: boring, I am not entitled Fast Thinking that you get the initial stage, and I come to you an apology
Wei Fan: Oh
Zhao Benshan: for three years, the most in this world, people I am sorry chef Fan
A disciple: Yes
Zhao Benshan: how good
Apprentice B: yes ah
Zhao Benshan: I often tell you that you said that I was cheated by his干啥
Disciples were: it should not be
Zhao Benshan: how do you say that I am honest, you hit me twice
Wei Fan: I
Zhao Benshan: hey you下不去hand
Zhao Benshan: You called me a few words
Wei Fan: You
Zhao Benshan:张不开your mouth, so, anyway, you have to forgive me, and do not have to forgive me and forgive me forgive me if I do not have blow against our faces with good faith
Wei Fan: Oh, you呀呀呀呀呀呀, but also, he could feel, you see, Oh it's忽悠,忽悠then
Zhao Benshan: Participation from me
Wei Fan: Yo, Yo, can you stand up, Yo, Yo Yo哎呦, it lacks disease,呀呀Oh, walk, walk two steps, taking two steps forward and take the two-step, hey-hey, ah me, fraud, fraud is not, is not fraud, and everyone is looking at it, what an accident does not matter with me ah, you are always distracted the entire board of this mysterious干啥, you stand up quickly, what did you say good quickly
Zhao Benshan: So you want to do
Wei Fan: I want to listen to
Zhao Benshan: After listening to in your letter you
Wei Fan: I, you stand up as long as the letter I
Zhao Benshan: You remove it, I was able to stand up
Wei Fan: that the Arab-Israeli,
Zhao Benshan: a long story, ah, remember that it was in 2003 the first snow of 2002 a number of later,
Wei Fan: Are you the lyrics the whole child干啥ah, what is directly said so fast
Zhao Benshan: I do not play with you in a virtual, today, I apologize to you, come, to load, you look familiar?
Wei Fan: This is your忽悠that I, that a few hundred dollars
Zhao Benshan: did not move a single cent
Wei Fan: This is a piece of sheet
Zhao Benshan: I have not worn on the child through the words
Wei Fan: Big Brother
Zhao Benshan: two of us should understand the grievances of the bar, and it held up over the past few years the feelings between the two of us, that is, the culprit wheelchair, today, I have in front of your face to break his
A pupil: teacher can not hit ah,
Apprentice B: master, this wheelchair is returned to your child哥俩old witness to the good, ah,
Zhao Benshan: Do not talk nonsense, and I, you, you can not pull me
A pupil: teacher can not hit you
Apprentice B: Master, My God
Disciples were: Master
Wei Fan: Big Brother, Big Brother, you have to hit to hit me, big brother
Zhao Benshan: big brother can not hit you
Wei Fan: Big Brother has the sincerity to you too, and the children are right, can not hit you, it is not only a witness, we return to the good, it is I'll be taken to avoid the alarm, I collected
Zhao Benshan: No, students do spend money to me, how can you do to Favorites
Wei Fan: how much money I gave you
Zhao Benshan: how much money to spend it,
A disciple: 2000
Wei Fan: I have a 2000
Zhao Benshan: I to 2500
Wei Fan: I 3000
Zhao Benshan: I 3500
Wei Fan: I 4000
Zhao Benshan: I 5000
Wei Fan: turnover
Zhao Benshan: chef fitted to the Fan
Wei Fan:哎哎, you call the 5000, I drop the hammer. Turnover
Zhao Benshan: No, no, you wrong, how, how the call
Apprentice B: I heard the shouting of cooks Fan
Wei Fan: What What
Apprentice A: No, master's call
Wei Fan: You see, you see
Zhao Benshan: chaos the chaos, and this child, it does not matter who's calling, you see we stroke a stroke, a bit chaotic, first call the
Wei Fan: I would first call, and
Zhao Benshan: how much you shout
Wei Fan: I 2000
Zhao Benshan: I 2500
Wei Fan: I 3000
Zhao Benshan: I 3500
Wei Fan: I 4000
Zhao Benshan: I 4500
Wei Fan: I 5000
Zhao Benshan: You look at the
Fan: hey,
Zhao Benshan: clear clear
Wei Fan: a little bit chaotic chaos
Zhao Benshan: You re-calculate
Wei Fan: No,谁也别speak for myself, I count myself, stroking my own
Zhao Benshan: you own disorder, and
Wei Fan: You, you do not speak 2000,2500,3000,3500,4000,4500,5000
Zhao Benshan: Your anti-stroke, and 2000 is that you called
Wei Fan: 2000,2500,3000
Zhao Benshan: No
Wei Fan: 2000,2500,3000,3500,4000,4500,5000
Zhao Benshan: on the sub -
Wei Fan: Oh
Apprentice A: I am wrong
Apprentice B: Yes, you call the
Wei Fan: wrong
Zhao Benshan: You look at this
Wei Fan: not big brother, big brother, I direct your call喊完4000 is not 5000, right, ah
Zhao Benshan: This child. Chaos, ah, now that it咱哥俩children,
Wei Fan: ah
Zhao Benshan: You agree to collection, it is not
Wei Fan: ah
Zhao Benshan: is it time we re-call is not
Wei Fan: ah
Zhao Benshan: 5000 listen to understand that this child who is crying in the end, the
Wei Fan: ah, good good
Zhao Benshan: that, the number of starts is
Disciples were: 2000
Wei Fan: I 2000
Zhao Benshan: turnover, this time not in turmoil,
Wei Fan: ah, you do not call up the
Zhao Benshan: Yes, I am afraid of the chaos shout
Apprentice B: This time you call the
Fan: hey, that line, do not move, this is my wheelchair, I give you the money, do not move do not move, 2000,
Zhao Benshan: tell you brother, theory should not be money,
Wei Fan: You say the
Zhao Benshan: But you have to face
Wei Fan: Do not say a
Zhao Benshan: this person is your face
Wei Fan: Do not say a
Zhao Benshan: people should not be governing, but not to the character you are not
Wei Fan: I have taken to you the
Zhao Benshan: bite, I tell you, simply, ah, just beginning, I did not want to
Wei Fan:哎哎, hey
Zhao Benshan: No
Wei Fan: change is robbed
Zhao Benshan: No, you misunderstood, I thought you want to control
Wei Fan: Do not installed, ah, from inside you, you were, and desperate measure,欲擒故纵, the master with砸车, the thinning of the sudden drop hammer of confused, I only spent a total
Zhao Benshan: will be on the terms of
Wei Fan: give you a total
Zhao Benshan: go for on the accrual
Wei Fan: send
Zhao Benshan: fail, because to know what failure? This recipe cooks do not watch the art of war, withdrawal
Disciples were: Master
Fan: hey
Zhao Benshan: hey
Disciples were: Master
Zhao Benshan:干啥play, which went to his knees, that I am here, you干啥two children,干啥ah
A disciple: Master, I am sorry to say too much, you忽悠low IQ, and failed to learn with what you intended to play
Apprentice B:干啥you go quickly, while a car can not keep up with all 2-way
Zhao Benshan: sad
Apprentice: The master in the last, by a徒儿al
Zhao Benshan: hey
Wei Fan: Oh妈呀
Zhao Benshan:呀呀Oh, Oh呀呀, the world is too crazy, and mouse gave cat when the bridesmaids, my mother
Disciples were: Master, please accept us
Fan: hey, hey, the children, then the sea knows no boundaries, repent and the shore, to learn the good, the Chinese New Year, red packets to children to you, ah, the red packets to children
Zhao Benshan: sad, really sad that this money you were able to do last month, both to you I did not pay it, sad
Wei Fan: Collect one of a
Apprentice and Gentlemen: thank master
Disciples are: master, won the
Zhao Benshan: Oh,嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿, of anti-inter -
Wei Fan: Oh, very hard to detect, but large忽悠, I am against you
Zhao Benshan: how things,
Wei Fan:忽悠to忽悠to, I do not sit in a wheelchair or you
Zhao Benshan: what you want,
Wei Fan: Your commitment to this
Zhao Benshan: What commitments
Wei Fan: Your stretcher that
Zhao Benshan: their own
Fan: hey
Zhao Benshan: You see, this is tailor-made for you, if the short can be lengthened
Wei Fan: Oh, Oh, you are gone to great pains for me, ah, thanks I技高一筹, open the red, the Chinese New Year, and give you a couplet year rolling year 『Po fate, eating a cutting』 wisdom Thank you,
Zhao Benshan: I give you your fill of横披, self-taught 『』

说台词啊！

台词呢？

说台词啊！ 台词呢？

---

龙文区18463189539： 赵本山小品功夫台词翻译英文 - ？
雷沾丁疏： Spring Festival Pieces ＂Kung Fu＂ Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei, Cai Weili,王晓虎 Zhao Benshan: I have heard him, improperly cooks,忽悠hotline to prevent, and threatened to no longer dare to deception. Cruel reality has been almost a line of ...

龙文区18463189539： 请问赵本山小品《就差钱》《出名》《买年货》《同桌的你》《心病》《功夫》《卖车》用英语怎么翻译?？
雷沾丁疏： 《就差钱》=Just short of money 《出名》=To be famous 《买年货》=special purchases for the Spring Festival 《同桌的你》= The closest classmate 《心病》=secret trouble 《功夫》=unique skill 《卖车》=selling the wheel chair

龙文区18463189539： 《大笑江湖》里赵本山那句经典的英语和中文翻译 - ？
雷沾丁疏：[答案] 电影中英文:may the force be with you. 电影中译文:别太得瑟,没什么用. 正译:愿力量与你同在.

龙文区18463189539： 《大笑江湖》里赵本山说的那句“英语”是什么?？
雷沾丁疏： make the force with you

龙文区18463189539： 大笑江湖里赵本山说的哪句英文是什么啊? - ？
雷沾丁疏：[答案] 河盗(赵本山):“年轻人,May the force be with you(“原力与你同在”的意思)”.程野:“别太放肆,没什么用.”

龙文区18463189539： 【大笑江湖】中赵本山讲的那句英语是什么意思? - ？
雷沾丁疏：[答案] 赵本山的那句台词“年轻人,May the force be with you”源自《星球大战》,是“原力与你同在”的意思,而在影片里,这句英文台词多次出现,而且还被赵本山翻译成“年轻人,别太放肆,没什么用!”

龙文区18463189539： 《大笑江湖》赵本山的那句英文是什么?？
雷沾丁疏： May the force be with you . 【别太放肆没什么用】

龙文区18463189539： <大笑江湖>中赵本山讲的那句英语是什么？
雷沾丁疏： may the force be with you... !(愿力量与你同在) 台词叫别太放肆,没什么用!

龙文区18463189539： 赵本山小品《面子》的台词有没有? - ？
雷沾丁疏： 妈:你说现在这孩子,真是越长越愁人.这不,我们家燕子刚上高一,她就给她爸弄了一个副局长的职位,括弧,虚的.你说也巧了,我们家燕子进的竟是一个高干班,人家那孩子的父母几乎个个都是当官的.你说这孩子为了要面子,竟也给同...

龙文区18463189539： 大笑江湖中赵本山的英语台词是啥?may____with__? - ？
雷沾丁疏：[答案] may the force be with you...