一个四人组得英语幽默小对话
1.Today, I want to tell you a joke, the three countries onto ghosts, the Chinese, French, British, gather together,they are squandering their respective countries to see whose spending even more strongly that the French people to put only rats drank whiskey irrigation, drinking,No go rat holes that rats on the dizzy, the British Brandy also filling the rats, the rats drank just afterHalo quickly on the Chinese people to the country's irrigation Erguotou mice, rats drilling holes.While Britain and France onto China onto the ghosts of ghosts laugh when I saw the rats out from the pit, holding a stick, shouting, cats,You give up.
2.Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。
那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。”
3.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
4.Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Will power意志力
Mike(M) Danny(C), Tommy(T)---classmates
地点:Scene----in the college dorm大学宿舍
Danny is playing a computer game on his laptop. Tommy is sleeping.
Mike came back from a morning jogging.
M: hi, Dan, what are u doing?
D: I am playing war craft.
M: Where is Tommy?
D: Shiiiii!
M:What? What's the matter?
D: Don't u see? He is still sleeping.
M: My goodness! I can't believe this! It’s almost nine. He got to get up now. Don't u remember we are required to make up a three people dialogue for tomorrow's oral class?
D: Yes, I do. You wake up Tommy and I will play one more round of war craft.
M: You'd better stop playing right now. We don't have much time to prepare this dialogue. Tommy! Tommy! Wake up! Time to wake up!
T:five more minutes, please.
Mike: No way, Jose. Time really flies.We still have a lot to do. Hurry up.
T: (Tommy sits up in his bed) Can I lie down two more minutes, please, just two more minutes? when Danny finishes his game, I will be fine.(Yawns) I don't know why I am so so sleepy. (Tommy lies down again.)
M: Guys!!! I am really angry now. Time waits for nobody. If you two don't stop what you are doing now, I will find somebody else to be my partners.
D and T: all right. All right. We listen to u.
M: That's more like it. We need will power.
D and T: what is will power?
M: Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do.
D: You mean like trying not to play war craft?
Mike: right.
T: you mean like trying not to stay up late?
M: right.
Danny turns off his computer. Tommy gets up and goes to the bathroom.
Two minutes later the three maskeetters are working on their assignment.
Danny: Mike, can I take a little break? Let me play one round and we will continue our work?
Tommy: Mike, Can I lie down a minute? My back hurts.
Mike: No! No! No! Let's finish our work first before we do anything. We need will power!!!
Danny and Tommy: that's true. We need will power! We listen to you.
２。有个同学作文总是习惯用象声词开头，例如“冬冬冬，一阵鼓声传来”，“啦啦啦，一阵歌声传来”等等，实在是未见其人，先闻其声，寒！！！
３。我和同学某某某一起骑车出门玩，他的气门芯坏了，我就把我的拔下来给他装上，我俩一起高高兴兴骑车回家了。
４。运动会１００米终于开始了，同学们像一只只脱缰的野狗奔了出去。
５。解放军叔叔一个个匍匐前进，就像一条条绿色的青虫在地上蠕动。
６。“我因病故在教室里……”“我弟弟新剃了一个光头，就像少林寺的小秃驴一样……” ７。长城长啊长，他*的真长。
８。运动场上彩旗飘。老少爷们儿扔飞镖。你一镖，我一镖。肠子肚子满天飘！
９。我小学的时候，那时的作文很习惯写好人好事。于是老是有人写捡到钱。于是，有人为了夸大自己的功绩，写在公园捡到１亿元，都是１０元人民币的，厚度有一语文书（四年级的）那么厚，老师当场念出来，那同学估计是巨寒。
１０。老大娘拿出四张５００元的人民币。
１１。“我有个同学，他长的不高也不矮，在１米７６以上，１米７８以下……”偶初中同学的作品……
１２。经典句子，每人都写过：今天天气真好，晴空万里，天上飘着朵朵白云……
１３。小学老师出半命题作文：“我的ｘｘｘ”随便写人写物，结果我班同学作文题目：《我的战友邱少云》。
１４。我小的时候写日记，老师规定要２００字以上，当时四人一组，有小组长检查字数，我同组的一位仁兄写到“今天妈妈让我出去买菜，我问多少钱一斤，卖菜的说５分，我说：真便宜呀真便宜，真便宜呀真便宜……”组长数了数还差４个字，于是仁兄又在后面加了一句，真便宜呀。
１５。……我的老师长得有点胖，头大大的，眼睛大大的，鼻子大大的，连嘴巴也是大大的。……老师对人很和蔼，他戴着一付变色眼镜，就好比是一只大熊猫一样……
１６。“一轮红日映朝阳……作为新时代的小学生，我们深知北京紧挨首都……”
１７。大家还记得小学时候的《小蝌蚪找妈妈》吗？当时老师让我们模仿这个写一篇关于他*的作文……有个同学是这样写的： 我的妈妈雪白的肚皮，鼓鼓的眼Α�?nbsp；
１８。以前偷看一女生作文，最寒的是：假如我以后当护士，我会像情人一样对待病人。
１９。一姐妹的小侄子，用“崭新”造句，“一个崭新的植物人诞生了”……（赵本山的功劳）真人真事，绝对原创。
２０。我来到电视机前把电视机打开了电视机！
２１。这同学写道：“国强（我的一个同班男同学）坐在凳子上，大大的屁股就像地里的南瓜，衣服下面露出一大ｊｉｅ内裤”老师在上课时读了出来，还说这同学描写得生动，下课后这同学被那同学打……
２２。三年级的时候有一次是其他老师代课。要我们写一篇《我家的一角》。于是就写：我家的一角很漂亮，又圆又亮，是一只马桶。
２３。在一个伸手不见五指的晚上，池塘的蝌蚪在晒太阳！
２４。日记──第一天：今天我到妈妈单位玩，玩的好高兴呢。 第二天：昨天我到妈妈单位玩，玩的好高兴呢。 第三天：今天我又想起前天我到妈妈单位，玩的很高兴。
２５。同学的名句：天上大雁mie mie （咩咩）地飞过；圆圆的月亮像弯弓。
２７。最真实的事：小学时同桌造的句。老师要求我们用“果然”这词来造句，我那同桌就写：我三个月没洗澡，身上果然臭了。
２８。今天晚上和爸爸一起去散步，我突然对爸爸说：“爸爸，我有一种不祥的预感”，结果被爸爸大骂了一顿……我就很奇怪，为什么雅典娜可以对圣斗士说这句话，我就不可以对爸爸说呢？
２９。小学时听人说野驴跑得最快，就把一个同学比喻成“他跑起来比野驴还快”。后来老师说我不应该这么写，我还纳闷，为什么不行啊……
３０。我走进了一家百货商店，啊，看来人民生活水平的确提高了，你看那位农民老大爷，左手一台电冰箱，右手一台电视机，一溜小跑。
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