求幽默搞笑的英语小品

搞笑简短的英语小品~

The little girl liked wearing a red coat. So everybody called her Little Red Coat.One day, her grandma had a cold. Her mother said to Little Red Coat, “my dear, send some bananas and cakes to your grandma.”As she walked through the forest, a wolf saw her, “Hello, litter girl. Where are you going?”“I’m going to my grandma’s house. She has got a cold.” Said Little Red Coat.“Where does she live?” asked the wolf.“She lives in the house near the forest. There are some big trees in front of her house.” Said Little Red Coat. “Bye-bye, little girl.” The wolf ran to the grandma’s house.Grandma asked, “Who is it?”“It’s me, Little Red Coat.” said the wolf.“Come in, please.”The big wolf opened the door and walked into the room. He ate Grandma up.He put on Grandma’s coat and trousers. Then he lay in bed.Little Red Coat walked into her grandma’s room. “What big eyes you have got, Grandma!” she said.“Because I want to see your pretty face.”said the wolf.“What a big mouth you have got, Grandma!”she said.“Because I want to eat you, my dear.”said the wolf.“Oh, no!”cried the little girl.The bad wolf ate Little Red Coat, too.The wolf was sleeping on Grandma’s bed.At this time, a hunter came and saw the wolf. “What a big stomach he has got! Grandma must be in his stomach.”thought the hunter.The hunter cut open the wolf. Grandma and Little Red Coat were still alive. They jumped out of the wolf.Grandma and Little Red Coat were very happy. “Thank you.”they said to the hunter.
帮你沾来的，呵呵

　　Feel Unhappy.心里难受

　　Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?

　　Father: Of cause, it is.

　　Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.

　　Father(angrily): What? You------

　　儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？

　　父亲：那当然！

　　儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。

　　父亲(气愤地)：什么？你……

　　It’s not that. 不是那样的。

　　A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.

　　B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.

　　A: No, it wasn’t raining.

　　A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。

　　B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！

　　A：不是，当时并没有下雨。

　　Compare other things？比一下其他？

　　Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

　　Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

　　Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

　　儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。

　　妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？

　　儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。


　　He Won

　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　他赢了
　　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
　　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
　　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
　　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,

Father's Things

When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"

"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.

"And that shirt's mine too."

"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.

"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.

"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"

父亲的东西

汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。

霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。

一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。

然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”

汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”

“还有那衬衫也是我的。”

“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。

“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。

“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”

The little girl liked wearing a red coat. So everybody called her Little Red Coat.

One day, her grandma had a cold. Her mother said to Little Red Coat, “my dear, send some bananas and cakes to your grandma.”

As she walked through the forest, a wolf saw her, “Hello, litter girl. Where are you going?”

“I’m going to my grandma’s house. She has got a cold.” Said Little Red Coat.

“Where does she live?” asked the wolf.

“She lives in the house near the forest. There are some big trees in front of her house.” Said Little Red Coat.

“Bye-bye, little girl.” The wolf ran to the grandma’s house.

Grandma asked, “Who is it?”

“It’s me, Little Red Coat.” said the wolf.

“Come in, please.”

The big wolf opened the door and walked into the room. He ate Grandma up.

He put on Grandma’s coat and trousers. Then he lay in bed.

Little Red Coat walked into her grandma’s room.

“What big eyes you have got, Grandma!” she said.

“Because I want to see your pretty face.”said the wolf.

“What a big mouth you have got, Grandma!”she said.

“Because I want to eat you, my dear.”said the wolf.

“Oh, no!”cried the little girl.

The bad wolf ate Little Red Coat, too.

The wolf was sleeping on Grandma’s bed.

At this time, a hunter came and saw the wolf. “What a big stomach he has got! Grandma must be in his stomach.”thought the hunter.

The hunter cut open the wolf. Grandma and Little Red Coat were still alive. They jumped out of the wolf.

Grandma and Little Red Coat were very happy. “Thank you.”they said to the hunter.

---

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