雅思作文批改

哪里可以免费批改雅思作文？最好是网上。谢谢。。~

楼主，你好，我知道“雅思作文救星”上好像可以免费批改雅思作文的

已经写的很好了呀，不过还有有一点小建议。
第一，英文对平衡结构讲求的比较多，首段用and连接的话虽然支持了句式的多样性，但是前后结构不是特别平衡。
第二，第二段首句点明了第一幅图表的内容并阐明共四个阶段，非常明晰，但是和第一段的第一句略有重复，显得表达有一点单一，可以尝试把第一段的different stages改成整个流程或者相似表达。
第三，主体段落第二段阐述的虽然清楚，但是前面用了fisrt of all后面没有对应的词汇与之对应，在结构上有时会让人不是特别明晰。
第四，第三段表述的虽然清晰，但是有大量的主系表结构，阅读中难免让人感觉句式略微单一，可以尝试再加一些被动会更好，ready, finish这些词用的比较多，可以找一些诸如complete之类的词汇进行替换。
总之已经灰常灰常好啦，但是你希望更好，所以很挑剔的找出这些修改建议，也不知道准不准确，希望对你有帮助哦~打分我不敢，还是不要啦~~

.1
ome people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate.
[拼写错误] ome 拼写错误，可替换选项为：Moe, om, omen
[句子错误] 请注意句首单词首字母大写
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 give...term 在教材中出现过 276 次
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 reduce...rate 在教材中出现过 2847 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: crime, sin, guilt, offence, violation 均含有“犯法，犯罪，罪恶”之意。
1.2
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
[学习提示] 易混词汇: agree, accord, coincide, conform, correspond 均含“符合，一致”之意。
[批改提示] disagree近义表达有differ/ dissent/ contradict/ contravene
2.3
Giving criminals longer terms in prison is thought to decrease crime rate by some people but others hold the opposite view of it.
[低频警示] longer...criminal 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] criminals longer 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] crime rate by some people 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the opposite view of it 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 decrease...rate 在教材中出现过 100 次
3.4
Indeed, longer terms in prison have deterring effect on society.
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 have...effect 在教材中出现过 23155 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: consequence, result, effect, outcome 均含“结果”之意。
3.5
Although there are people who commit crimes without conscience or care for the law, there is also a large percent of the population that is dissuaded from criminal acts due to the fear of consequences, such as incarceration.
[低频警示] crimes without conscience 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 commit...crime 在教材中出现过 5577 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: act, action, deed, operation, performance 均含“行为，行动”之意。
[批改提示] 查看who和whoever，whom的区别。
[批改提示] large的同意表达有miraculous或marvelous 。
3.6
Besides, the longer prison time means the longer time of education.
[低频警示] the longer prison time 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the longer time of education 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 mean...time 在教材中出现过 316 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: intend, mean 均有“想要，打算”之意。
[批改提示] besides表示“除了（包括）”。注意与except的区别。详情点击
3.7
After being educated for long period, criminals may clearly and totally realize their guilt and probably want to change themselves to be good again, which may decries crime recommitted.
[名词错误] for long period 冠词缺失
[低频警示] realize...guilt 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: change, alter, vary, convert, modify, transform, turn 均含有“变化，改变”之意。
[批改提示] want的近义表达有intend，tend，lack，need。
[批改提示] educate近义表达有teach/ train/ discipline/ instruct/ edify
4.8
However, criminals may not adjust to society when they are realized from a long period prison time.
[低频警示] a long period prison time 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: adapt, adjust, conform, accommodate, suit, fit 均有“使适合，适应”之意。
4.9
Criminals may not get a job because of being discriminated and lack of skills.
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 get...job 在教材中出现过 69 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: due to, owing to, because of, thanks to 均表示“由于”之意。
4.10
In order to survive, they commit a crime again.
4.11
Besides, tougher penalties may stimulate criminals' mind of retaliation to society.
[低频警示] retaliation to society 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 stimulate...mind 在教材中出现过 28 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: mind, intellect, intelligence, brains, wit, wisdom 均有“智力，智慧”之意。
4.12
In this case, they are likely to hurt innocent people or break the law deliberately.
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 break...law 在教材中出现过 23 次
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 hurt...people 在教材中出现过 965 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: break, burst, crack, crush, fracture, shatter, smash 均含“打破，弄碎”之意。
[批改提示] 注意likely和probable 的区别。
4.13
Nevertheless, if prisoners are able to engage in some services in the community, they will be able to be rehabilitated and get a job, which undoubtedly help reduce crime rate.
[动词错误] 语法错误，建议将be able to+被动态改为can+被动态。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: prisoner, captive, convict 均含“囚犯，俘虏”之意。
[批改提示] help近义表达有support/ assist/ aid
[批改提示] get+宾语这种结构不能用于正式场合。如果这句话并没有出现在正式场合，请忽略此提醒。
[批改提示] engage近义表达有engross/ occupy/ absorb/ involve
5.14
To sum up, I think although longer prison time is much tougher for some criminals it still have positive effect on reducing crime rate.
[低频警示] some criminals it still 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: sure, certain, definite, positive 均含“无疑的，确信的”之意。
5.15
But I also agree that increasing more opportunities of community services to prisoners will help them involve in society again and get belief from others.
[低频警示] community services to prisoners 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 get...belief 在教材中出现过 22 次
[搭配统计] 动名搭配 increase...opportunity 在教材中出现过 249 次
[学习提示] 易混词汇: belief, faith, confidence, conviction, credit, trust 都有“相信，信任”之意。

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