各位英语高手帮我修改一下我的英语自我介绍，谢谢（赤城中学的竞选者请不要抄袭，这是我好不容易写好的）
Hello everybody. My Chinese name is... You can call me... I'm from Grade... Class... I like to playing... I want to be your friend.
My name is ....., I am a boy/girl ,I study at ......school , My favory subject is ....., I also like music,because the music me relax . In my family ,there are five people ,they are my grandfather ,grandmother , father , mother and I .My father is a doctor ,my mother is a teacher .I like making friends ,do you want to make friends with me ?
1.I think English is a colorful window, shows me a new world. 这句有误，应该改成：I think English is a colorful window, which shows me a new world 。这是定语从句的用法，不知道你有没有学过。一个单独分句不能同时有两个谓语（is 和show），必须用关系代词（这里是which）连接，构成从句。
2
I'm confident I could for this position. 这句应该改为：I‘m confident that I am qualified for this position.
这里that 引导的是宾语从句，做be confident的宾语，但也有与法学家认为引导的是状语从句
另外，could 后面不能跟介词，应该跟动词。
3 For this position , I'll work harder and make more and more people like English this language. 这里把this language 去掉，我明白你是想用the language 做English的同位语，但好像这里没用这种用法。
4 I will also make their own English keep up with a layer of floor.
这个句子有点中式英语的成分。不妨改成：I will also make their own English reach a higher level 我也会让他们的英语达到更高水平。
5 最后一句不妥
不妨改成： Sincerely hope that you can give me the honor to be the minister of our English club。
我大胆整理了一下，加了一些自己的句子，具体如下
Good moring/afternoon/evening, everyone.I’m in Class 8, Grade 8 . I like English very much.(这里可以用 I am crazy about English，感情色彩会比较强烈一点）
I think English is a colorful window, which shows me a new world 。 I want to be the minister of our English club . I‘m confident that I am qualified for this position.
If you give me the honor to be in this position，I would work harder and try my best to make more and more students like English.I will also make their English reach a higher level.
Trust me,if you give me this position,I promise that I would not let you down. Thank you!!
个别句子有点chinglish翻译啊，
Hello,everybody! my name is Fan Ruiyuan.I’m in Class 8, Grade 8 . it's my great honor to be here. I like English very much. I think English is a colorful window, shows me a new world and make me know more about the western countries. I want to be the minister of our English club . i believe that i can do this job well. For this position , I'll work harder and make more and more people like English. I will also practise English with them and improve our English. Hope you can support me .Thank you very much!
Hello, my name is Fan Ruiyuan.I’m in Class 8, Grade 8 . I like English very much. I think English is a colorful window, (it shows me a different world). I want to be the minister of our English club (.I am confident qualified this job ). For this job , I'll work harder and make more and more people like English . (I will also make their own English keep up with a layer of floor)这是你用翻译工具翻译的吧 以后最好别这样了.语法跟意境完全是错的.应该.i will also improve my english. trust me.i can do it .Thank you!.需要改的用括号标了 没什么大的变动 只是把你那些死硬的语气改了
英语高手看过来,帮我修改一份英文的自我介绍
My job is a trading assistant, I clearly know there is much knowledge I need to learn.（这句太中国式了。我觉得改为“I worked as a trading assistant”）The knowledge of books are very limited, I want to learn more knowledge from works to increase my social experiences.(...
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高手请进,帮我修改一下英语作文
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第三行what改成which，好像还有一些拼写错误，改正后再来修改吧。
急啊,哪位英语高手帮我翻一下这篇作文啊,日记形式的
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扶风县17295675555： 英文自我介绍,恳请高手帮忙润色修改一下!？
葛生癸氟： It's really a great honor for me to be here today. My name is **,25 years old.I graduatd from ** university with a major in Electronic and Information Engineering. After graduation,I joined Foxconn Technology Company.I have been engaged in the field ...
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扶风县17295675555： 我自己写的英语自我介绍!求高手修改!？
葛生癸氟：Hello everyone ,i am happy to introduce myself to you My name is zhiwei,i'm fifteen years old.I was born in China.My mother tongue is Chinese.I'm good at English and Math.My favorite sports are playing basktball and pingpong.By sports i can make...
