我写好了一篇关于蓝牙的英语作文，哪位英语高手帮我修改一下，明天就要交了，急！！谢谢啦！

英语高手帮我改下这篇自己写的英语作文,有很多问题呢~~

Dream is sun.Dream is light.Dream is_______(写一个和前者适合的单词).
(Dream is the light and is the sun as well.如果你非得要排比句的话，那就：Dream is the candle;Dream is the lamp; Dream is the sun as well; because the lamp is brighter than the candle,and the sun is the brightest.)
When I was a little a girl.I had a dream.I think the dream is very wonderful.Can you guess it? Yes,I want to be a singer.
(i have had a wonderful dream that i will become a super singer one day since my childhood.Do you think so?)
When I was nine years old.I listened one of Rong zu'er's songs.Its name is "Hui Zhe Chi Bang De Nv Hai(请用英文翻译一下歌名，是挥着翅膀的女孩）"Since then,I have started learning to sing songs.
(A girl flies with her wing)
To learn to sing is very difficult.I spent a lot of time on it.I had a sorethroat soon.I had to eat so many medicine.But I'm not afraid(害怕，貌似写错了）of it.I still practied it hard.Because I belived if I practice hard,my dream will come ture(这里要用到“主将从先”这个语法，但我不会。i don't understand what you said.）.I always say"Come On" to myself.I also learned how to play the drums.It helps me a lot in music.
After two years,I did well in singing .I began to take part in the singsing games.I did my best and won second places.I felt so exciting that couldn't help crying.I thing my efforts were not in vain.Now, I want to sing a song to my efforts and everybody:
(挥着翅膀的女孩英文版，这个歌词我有，不用管这点。）
I can fly
I’m proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
Till the end of the time

Believe me I can fly
I’m proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
The heaven in the sky
前两句修改的在括号里，后面的直接在你的句子修改，你写得不错作为一个初二生。

写的挺好，没发现错误。

Bluetooth technology's future

nowadays bluetooth technology is not strange to us, in our telephones and computers
it can be seen anywhere.

(nowadays bluetooth has gained more popurlarity as it can be seen everywhere such as in our telephones and computers这样感觉更连贯通顺)

A bluetooth connection is wireless and automatic,and it only connection（connect这需要动词） the
Next level by removing（这是什么意思？表达不清）.So what the future of Bluetooth technology?
（个人认为这里说未来怎么样不恰当，应该直接说他有怎么样的发展空间，比如说有三项值得改进的地方，比如说语音控制，更方便人们使用。Firstly，It brings people convenience as it's able to be easily controled by human voice.然后来举个例子old people and the disables could take good care of themselves，speaking to the machine.）
I think it would have three alter .Firstly, as the technology develop , it would be remote control,
.secondly, it has cover our daily lives more aspect, not only on the telephones and computuers
,maybe it can be connect the television or radio. Thirdly, i think the bluetooth technology
Is common to everyone so that not only the children but also the older can use it.
The bluetooth technology have a very great develop space, if only we can enhance
The rate of technology, i believe it have a bright future is waiting us.
（第二第三点在说明观点 举例说明。这样文章更有条理 更清晰 更有说服力）
（你有连词的使用 倾向去使用复杂句，这都很好很有语言的感觉，然而还不够熟练，当然还需要你更多的努力，希望对你有帮助。

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