小学的英语幽默小短文！！！！越短越好

英语幽默小短文~

Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！

The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
老猫

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

I know who God is!

A boy says to her mother, "Mom, is God a man or woman?"
The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both gay and straight."
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"

【2】

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right." said a gentleman. " Don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb. 'Barking dogs don't bite'?"

"Ah, yes." answered the little boy. " I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too.
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.

"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."

He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.

"What's that, Bobby?" "

Horsey, " said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。 布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。

“博比，这是什么？” “马马，”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸！” [注]horsey: 马（儿语） pussy：猫咪（儿语）

Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.

"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."

He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.

"What's that, Bobby?" "

Horsey, " said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。 布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。

“博比，这是什么？” “马马，”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸！” [注]horsey: 马（儿语） pussy：猫咪（儿语）

I know who God is!

A boy says to her mother, "Mom, is God a man or woman?"
The mom thinks a while and says, "Well, son, God is both man and woman."
The son is confused, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
The mother replies, "God is both black and white, honey."
The son, still curious, says after a while, "Is God gay or straight, mommy?"
The mother, getting a little worried, answers, "Son, God is both gay and straight."
The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: "Is God Michael Jackson?"

【2】

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

A little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right." said a gentleman. " Don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb. 'Barking dogs don't bite'?"

"Ah, yes." answered the little boy. " I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too.

GOOD GOOD STUDY,DAY DAY UP!

---

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