要6-7人的一个英语小话剧、越搞笑越好、大概10-15分钟

7人搞笑英语话剧，十分钟左右的。急！跪求！！~

ays at some time during his early adult lif

不妨试一试表演这个英语小话剧。Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧

B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆

B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出，递给S)

S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.

S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….

S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Hm!

T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..

T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?

S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)

B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: （倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!

S: She is a monster!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)

B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)

S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)

E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)

S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!

T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》

E: Master, brother Monkey is.......

T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)

T: （惊）You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!

T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)

N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.

N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)

S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）

T: Let's go guys!( 歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.

E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.

J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.

T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.

T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet...... 此外，如果阁下不喜欢的话，还有这个Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)

Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!

S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)

First, put the flour on the table.

Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)

Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)

Press, press……

Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!

Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……

Now let me cut it into pieces!

One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）

Wow, everything is ready!

糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…

S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……

C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)

Scene2（At the school gate）

N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）

(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……

M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!

A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!

M: Let’s ask him.

A: OK!

C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）

M&A: Why?

C: I’m dirty！

M: No, you look nice!

C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)

S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）

M&A: How much are they?

S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）

M&A: Money?(对视)

M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）

A: Me too.

S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)

M: What can we do now?

A: Let’s ask dad for money.

M: But how to ask?

A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）

M: Good idea!(全部下场)

Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）

N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)

M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)

A: And play the guitar for us!

M: We know you play so well!

(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)

D: Oh? What a bright day today!

M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)

D:OKOK! Let’s.

(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?

M&A: Of course!

(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。)

D: What’s the matter?

M: Dad, we have no money!

A: Can we have some please?

D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.

M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.

A: They look so sweet and nice!

M: Other students always buy them!

D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，转头看报，孩子回到房间)

M: What shall we do now?

A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)

M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)

M: Dad, I want a new eraser!

A: I want a longer ruler!

M&A: Dad, please！

D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!

M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)

A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）

D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?

M&A: Yes, sir!

D: Here you are !( 给钱)

M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场)

N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.

(孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛)

M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）

A: …….

D: What’s wrong?

M: I’ve a stomachache!

A: Me too!

D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?

M: Yes. We had some candies just now.

A: I had some too!

D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）

M: But they look nice!

A: And tastes good!

M&A: Aiyo……

D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!

M&A: OK.

Scene 4: (At the school gate)

N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.

(正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)

P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!

C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)

S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…

C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!

M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）

D: He?

(警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩)

P: What’s the matter with them?

D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.

S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……

P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）

S: OK. I know. (羞愧)

C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.

Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.

D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?

M&A: OK, dad!

P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.

D: OK, Let’s go.

N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

Little Red Riding Hood

第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家
Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的

水果放在篮子里）
Little Red Riding Hood唱着歌，欢快地跑

进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?
Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事

重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some

apples and bananas for Grandma. Take

them to Grandma.
Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，

边点头说）Ok!
Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding

Hood说） Be good. Be careful.
Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．

Goodbye, mummy.
Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.

第二场：在路上
(一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red

Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草

旁)
Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers,

how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One

flower ,two flowers, three flowers.
Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步

地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找

东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding

hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where

are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red

Riding Hood打招呼) 字串6
Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真

地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill.
Wolf：（自言自语）I’ ll eat Grandma.

But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）

Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks.
Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着

音乐翩翩起舞)
Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）

Hello! Baby ducks，how are you?
Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you．

Where are you going?
Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s

．Oh, I must go, bye.
Six Ducks：Goodbye．

第三场：Grandma家
Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走

到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打

几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am

very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where

is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)

Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．
Grandma： Who is it？
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声

音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s

me. Little Red Riding Hood.
Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come

in. 字串9
Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I

’ll eat you.
Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着

眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）
灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）

Yummy！I’ll sleep.
Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)

Grandma．Grandma．
Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it

？
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little

Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!
Wolf：Come in， Come in.
Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把

篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几

步)Oh! What are big ears!
Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.
Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a

big eyes!
Wolf：I can see you pretty face.
Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big

hand.
Wolf：I can hug you.
Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉

起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a

big hands?
Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!
Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！

No! No! 字串2
Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做

吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still

sleep. I like sleeping.
Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出

场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推

门)The wolf is sleeping.
Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)
Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a

big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma

and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I

must be hurry．(从桌子上拿起剪刀，举起

) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut,

cut, cut.
Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank

you．
Hunter： Grandma ,give me some

needles and thread． Little Riding Hood

,Give me some stones．
Grandma： (从桌子上拿来针线)
Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石

头)One, two, three.
Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里)
Grandma： I’ll thread it.
Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up!
Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My

stomach is so heavy.
Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your

arms!
Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me!
Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!
Wolf： (应声倒下)
Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．
Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：

Yeah! Thank you．
Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、

Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you
可以改编~名曰：小红帽与灰太狼

是57中2.9的吗？是的话回我！

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