急！！！求英语小笑话，越短越好，通俗易懂的，要搞笑！不好笑的不要

英语小笑话,要带翻译,还要很好笑，最好很短，越短越好，~

Expensive Price
　　Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
　　昂贵的代价
　　牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
　　母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?
　　牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了

TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

　　1、Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
　　冰山和衣刷之间有什么区别？
　　A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
　　一个 撞 船 一个 刷 大衣！(单词的拼写造成的JOKE）

　　2、white man：are you Black?

　　black man：no,i'm White

　　He Won
　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　他赢了
　　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
　　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
　　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
　　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　他的耳朵在我衣兜里

　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
　　“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
　　“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

　　A Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
　　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
　　“她是个卖糖果的。”

　　Drunk

　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
　　"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　醉酒

　　一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

　　Hospitality

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

　　好客

　　由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．

“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”

“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”

“How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？”

“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost．”

五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。

“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”

“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”

“太有意思了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”

“不，”年轻人心不在焉地说，“我输了。”

人回去肉呼呼

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