问一个笑话的名字和内容

请问一个笑话的名字，有内容更好~

　　这段相声是姜昆．戴志诚合说的相声 《妙趣网生》,几年前听过,今天在网上看到,再拿出来让自已笑笑.
　　相声内容如下：
　　一个小孩让他的爸爸解释四个词，这四个词是：生气，愤怒，发疯和哭笑不得。爸爸觉得很难解释，突然灵机一动，他拿起电话录找了个电话号码，拨了过去。。。。。

　　“你好，这是林公馆请问找哪位？”电话那头传来一个女中音

　　“我找一下周润发”

　　“这里是林公馆，你打错了。”很温柔的声音.....

　　“我就是要找一下周润发。”

　　“我跟你说啦，这是林公馆，没有周润发”，啪，电话被挂掉了。

　　爸爸对小孩说：“你猜，她现在在干什么，这是生气。”

　　“那爸爸，什么是愤怒呢？“

　　爸爸又拿起电话，继续拨刚才的号码。

　　“你好，这是林公馆“

　　“我找一下周润发。“

　　“我跟你说啦这里是林公馆。没有周润发，你不要再打来了”

　　“麻烦你我还是要找一下周润发。“

　　“你丫的有病吧，这里是林公馆，给你说了没有周润发，再打我报警了”，啪，电话被重重的挂断啦

　　爸爸对儿子说“看到没有，这就是愤怒。”

　　“发疯是什么样子呀？”小孩问道

　　爸爸继续拨通那个电话

　　“你丫有病是不是，我跟你说，再打我就报警，这里没有周润发。”

　　“请问这里是林公馆吗？

　　“噢，对不起，先生，这里是林公馆，刚才有人不停打电话来要找周润发，真不好 好意思，请问你找哪位？”

　　“那请给我找一下周润发。”

　　“·#￥%-*%￥#·”电话那头无语...

　　什么是苦笑不得呀？

　　爸爸再次拨通电话

　　“喂，你好，我是周润发，请问刚才有人找过我吗？”

网友，请采纳一下我的问题吧！！！


　　　1.说有一只北极熊，因为雪地太刺眼了，必须要戴墨镜才能看东西， 可是他找不到墨镜，于是闭着眼睛爬来爬去在地上找，爬呀爬呀，把手脚都爬的脏兮兮的才找到墨镜。 戴上墨镜，对着镜子一照，这才发现：哦，原来我是一只熊猫

　　3.一只北极熊孤单的呆在冰上发呆，实在无聊就开始拔自己的毛玩，一根，两根，三根，最后拔的一根不剩，然后他就冷死了。

　　4.从前从前有一只鸟，他每天都会经过一片玉米田，但是很不幸的,有一天那片玉米田发生了火灾，所有的玉米都变成了爆米花!!!小鸟飞过去以后……以为下雪，就冷死了。

　　5.小明新理了发，第二天来到学校，同学们看到他的新发型，笑道：小明，你的头型好像个风筝哦！小明觉得很委屈，就跑到外面哭，哭着哭着，他就飞起来了。

　　6.蜘蛛爱上了蝴蝶，蝴蝶却拒绝了它，蜘蛛问：为什么？这是为什么！蝴蝶说：我妈说了，整天在网上混的都不是好人．

　　7.夏日炎炎的一天,两只香蕉走在路上。走在前面的香蕉突然觉得好热，他说，好热哦，我要把衣服脱掉。结果他就把皮给剥掉了。 结果后面的香蕉就跌倒了。然后脱了衣服的香蕉就变成了香蕉干~

　　8.有一天，三个探险家终于寻找到"希望之谷"，传说中，只要站在山谷边大喊心中想要的东西，然后往山谷中跳下去，就会得到满坑满谷所想要的东西。于是他们三个决定试看看。
　　第一个是个色鬼，因此他大喊"女人！女人！"往下一跳果真有满坑满谷的美女正等着他.
　　第二个是个书呆子，喊了"书书书书书！"然后，跳到山谷里也得到满坑满谷的书.
　　第三个是个优柔寡断的人，左思右想总是无法决定自己的最爱，过了一个小时以后，他终于下定决心，觉得还是钞票最有用了，于是他走向山谷边.一不小心踢到一颗石头，他骂了一声"shit！"不料一个重心不稳跌下山谷。

　　9.小明呢，就明天要考试窝，但晚上却在看电视
　　小明妈妈就担心地问：书都看完了吗？明天要考试啊
　　小明就爽快地回答：妈，我看完了。
　　小明妈妈就很开心的赞扬小明：乖，那明天你一定考得很好呢
　　小明哭着说：妈，我是说，‘妈，我看，完了’。

　　10.熊猫深爱着小鹿，表达爱意时却遭到拒绝。 熊猫大吼～为什麼？这一切都是为什麼？ 小鹿胆怯地说：我妈说了，戴墨镜的都是不良少年

　　11.有一天小明走在路上！走着走着突然觉得脚很酸！为什么会这样呢?因为小明踩到柠檬了！

　　12.汉字当中哪个字最酷?丁字裤(酷)
　　巾”对“币”说：儿啊。你戴上博士帽，也就身价百倍了。
　　“尺”对“尽”说：姐姐，结果出来了。你怀的是双胞胎。
　　“臣”对“巨”说：和你一样的面积。我却有三室俩厅。

　　13.某日，一个大学老师提问一学生，树上有十只鸟，开枪打死一只，还剩几只？
　　学生反问：是无声手枪吗？不是枪声有多大？80-100分贝。在这个城市打鸟犯不犯法？不犯。您确定那只鸟真的被打死了吗？确定。这时，老师已经不耐烦了：“，你告诉我还剩几只鸟就行了，OK？树上的鸟里有没有聋子？没有。有没有被关在笼子里挂在树上的？没有。边上有没有其他的树，树上还有没有其他的鸟？没有。如果有鸟怀孕了，算不算肚子里的小鸟？不算。 打鸟的人眼有没有花？没有花，就十只。教师已经是满头是汗，且下课铃响，但学生继续问：有没有傻得不怕死的鸟？都怕死。会不会一枪打死两只？不会。学生满怀信心地说：，如果您的回答没有骗人“打死的鸟要是挂在树上没有掉下来，那么就剩一只，如果掉下来，就一只不剩。老师当即口吐白沫倒在地上！

　　14.一天，有人经过十字路口，发现一件超级恐怖的事，他发现卡卡西和孙悟空竟然在笑！

　　15.很久很久以前，有一晚，池塘里有三只虾，哈哈哈，一个女鬼放了一个屁死了。

　　16.一个搞生物研究的女外星人来到地球,转了一圈后,觉得人类基因有不少可借鉴之处,于是她抓了个男人,想把他和关于人类基因的文本资料一起带回。可飞船体积小,没法带他走，资料又过于庞大,不能一次带完。焦虑之际，飞船的电脑帮助系统道：“这人身上有一根小小的棒子即可解决你所有问题……”这时她才恍然大悟,笑着留着口水对那个男人说：“。。。。。把U盘给我！” 。

　　17.有一个陷儿正过马路，结果不小心被卡车压瘪了，他奄奄一息的时候看了看自己的身体，他说：“原来我是豆沙馅儿的，不是肉馅儿的”

　　18.大哥，你别在摸了！你摸了上面摸下面，毛都让你摸掉了，这么嫩的皮，被你摸的都流水了！你让俺以后怎么卖？这桃都是新鲜的，您不买就算了！

　　19.从前有只小羊，有天他出去玩，结果碰上了大灰狼。 大灰狼说：我要吃了你！！！小羊大惊！你们猜，结果怎么了？结果大灰狼就把小羊吃了。

　　20.从前有个剑客，他人很冷，心很冷，剑很冷，最后冷死了

　　21.从前有一只老虎在马路上追一只鹿！鹿大惊于是越跑越快，最后就变成了高速公路

　　22.有一个西红柿，被石头拌了一跤吧嗒摔烂了，又有一个西红柿吧嗒又摔烂了，还有一个西红柿吧嗒吧嗒吧嗒吧嗒吧嗒无数个西红柿摔烂了最后一个西红柿也摔倒了啊嗒耶！番茄酱耶！

　　23.士兵问连长：作战时踩到地雷咋办？连长大为恼火：靠，能咋办？踩坏了照价赔偿。

　　24.一天，三只小猪为了躲避大灰狼的追赶，而建造了三个小屋。大灰狼不费劲的吹毁了草屋，木屋，砖屋，三只小猪们拼命的跑，但是还是被大灰狼追上了。三只小猪绝望地说，你看着办吧。我们放弃了，随你怎样。此时，大灰狼奸笑着，留着口水说：那快告诉我小红帽在哪里？

　　25.大象把大便排在路中央，一只蚂蚁正好路过，它抬头望了望那云雾缭绕的顶峰，不禁唱到：呀啦索，这就是青藏高原！~~~~


我打了很久的，采纳一下吧！

1 say to have a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, must wear sunglasses to see things, but he could not find his glasses, then closed his eyes to climb on the ground, climb up, the hands and feet up the dirty to find sunglasses. Wear a pair of sunglasses, a mirror to shine, it found that: Oh, I'm a panda
3 a polar bear to stay alone in a daze ice, really boring started pulling their hair, one, two, three, the last one left, and then he cold dead.
4 once upon a time there lived a bird, he every day through a corn field, but unfortunately, a fire one day the cornfield, all corn into popcorn!!! The bird flew past later...... That the snow, cold dead.
5 Xiao Ming Li of the new hair, the second day came to the school, the students saw his new hairstyle, smiles: Xiao Ming, your head like a kite oh! Xiao Ming feel wronged, they ran out crying, crying tears, he would fly up.
6 spider fell in love with the butterfly, butterfly refused it, spider ask: why? This is why! Butterfly said: my mom said, mixing all day on the Internet are not good
The 7 summer day, two bananas walk on the road. Walk in front of the banana suddenly feel very hot, he said, good hot Oh, I want to take your clothes off. He put the skin to peel away. Results fell behind the banana. Then undressed banana becomes dried banana
8 one day, three explorer finally find the "valley of hope", according to legend, just stand in the valley edge shouting what you want, then jump into Valley in large numbers, get what you want. So the three of them decided to try to have a look.
The first is a goat, so he shouted, "a woman! The woman! "There was a jump down in large numbers beauty waiting for him
The second is a nerd, shouted "book book book book book! "Then, jumping into the valley has been in large numbers of books
The third is a person always irresolute and hesitant, think of this way and that is not for them to decide the most love, an hour later, he finally determined, feel or money is the most useful, so he went to the valley edge. Accidentally kicked a stone, he scolded "shit! "But an unstable center of gravity down the valley.
9 Xiaoming, will have an exam tomorrow nest, but the night was to watch TV
Xiao Ming mother asked: books are finished? Have an exam tomorrow
Xiaoming readily replied: Mom, I finished.
Xiao Ming mother very happy praise Xiaoming: good, that tomorrow you will do a good job
Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I said, 'Mom, I see,.'.
The 10 panda love deer, expression love but was rejected. The panda roar ~ why? All this is why? The fawn timidly say: my mother said, wearing sunglasses is bad boy
11 one day Xiaoming go on the road! Walked suddenly feel the foot is very acid! Why? Because he stepped on a lemon!
Among the 12 Chinese characters which word is the coolest? G-string (cool)
Towel "to" money "says: my son. You wear a doctor cap, also have a sudden rise in social status.
"Rule" to "do" said: the elder sister, the results come out. You are carrying twins.
"I" to "giant" said: and you have the same area. I have 3 rooms two hall.
13 one day, a university teacher asked a student, there are ten birds in the tree, shot and killed one, how many are left?
The students asked: is the silent pistol? No gunshots have how old? 80-100 db. Hits the bird in this city to violate the law? Don't make. Are you sure that bird was killed? Determine. At this time, the teacher was already impatient: ", you told me a few birds left to go, OK? There is no deaf birds on the tree? No. There is no was shut in a cage hanging in the trees? No. There is no other tree, the tree has no other bird? No. If the birds were pregnant, calculate do not calculate in the belly of a bird? Don't count. Human bird have flowers? No flower, have ten only. The teacher was already sweating, and finishes class the bell sound, but the students continue to ask: is there any silly not afraid dead birds? All fear death. Will not shoot two? Can't. Students with full confidence, said: if you answer no lie "killed if the bird hanging did not fall in the tree, then remains one, if you fall, does not remain. The teacher was foaming at the mouth and fell to the ground!
The 14 day, people pass the crossroads, found a super bloodcurdling thing, he found that Kakashi and Sun Wukong even in laughter!
15 a long time ago, one night, there are only three shrimp pond, ha ha ha, a ghost put a fart die.
16 a biological study of female aliens came to earth, a circle, think the human gene has many lessons, she caught a man, want to put him back in and about human gene text data. But its small size, don't take him away, data too large, not a band. The anxiety, the ship's computer help system way: "this person has a small stick can solve all of your problems......" Then she could see light suddenly, smile and keep slobber said to the man:"..... The U disk to me!".
17 there is a depression, crossing the road, was accidentally truck tyre, be at one's last gasp when he looked at his body, he said: "I was sweetened bean paste stuffing, not the meat stuffing"
The 18 eldest brother, you don't touch! You touch touch the hair above, let you feel lost, so tender skin, be felt by you running water! You let me how to sell? This peach is fresh, you do not buy it!
19 once upon a time there was little sheep, one day he went out to play, the results hit the big bad wolf. The wolf said: I want to eat you!!! The big surprise! Guess what, result how? Results the wolf ate the lamb.
20 once upon a time there was a swordsman, he is very cold, cold heart, sword is cold, the cold dead
21 once upon a time there was a tiger chasing a deer in the street! The deer was surprised and ran faster and faster, finally becomes a freeway
22 there is a tomato, was stone mix of Bata broken, and a tomato kipper and broken, and a tomato TA TA TA TA TA countless tomatoes smashed. Finally a tomato fell Ah Da! Tomato sauce!
23 the commander of the soldiers asked: Combat stepped on landmines? Even grew up as the angry: depend, can do? Trampled the compensation.
The 24 day, the three little pigs to avoid the wolf's pursuit, and built three cabin. The wolf not laborious blow ruined grass, wood, brick house, the three little pigs are desperately run, but was caught up with the wolf. The three little pigs desperate to say, you do it. We give up, whatever you do. At this time, the wolf crafty smile, keep slobber said: please tell me where is the Little Red Riding Hood?
25 elephants in the stool Pai Road Central, one of ants is pass by, the peak, it looked to the cloud can not help but sing: ah cable, this is the Qinghai Tibet plateau! ~ ~ ~ ~

　　很老的笑话

　　猛张飞请智诸葛

　　三国时，刘备手下有一员猛将，姓张名飞字翼德。他见兄长刘备两顾茅庐都没有把诸葛亮请出山来，便主动请缨，要去请诸葛孔明。
　　这一天，旭日当空，艳阳高照。刘关张弟兄三人又来到卧龙岗。诸葛亮一见这三位，就明白又是来请他出山的了。这次他一反常态,主动对刘关张哥仨说：“你们兄弟中谁能对得上我的哑谜的，我就痛快地跟你们出山。如果对不上来，今后也就不要再来寒舍叨扰了。”
　　刘备和关羽听了，感到不知所措。可那张飞一听，竟然爽快地说道：“这有何难。诸葛先生你请。”诸葛亮用手指了指天，张飞见状，便顺手指了指地。诸葛亮接着伸出一个手指头，张飞紧跟着伸出了三个手指头。诸葛亮双手连击三掌，张飞则在自己的肚子上连捶了九下。诸葛亮用双手在胸前画了一个圈，张飞马上用双手托住了自己的头。诸葛亮一见哈哈大笑，痛快地答应跟随刘皇叔出山。
　　他们两个在那里比比画画，把个刘备和关羽看得莫名其妙。刘备悄声问诸葛亮，你们在那里比画的都是什么意思？诸葛亮说：“我用手指天是说上知天文，他用手指地是说下识地理；我伸一个手指是说一统天下，他伸三个手指是说三足鼎立；我连击三掌是说三三归汉,他在肚子上捶了九下是说九九归一；我在胸前画圈是说胸装日月，他用手托头是说头顶乾坤。皇叔啊，就连您手下的一个大将都这么厉害，我孔明当然是心甘情愿地跟随主公您去平定天下了。”
　　刘备心想，三弟是个粗人，哪里会有这样的奇思秒想。于是便又寻机低声向张飞求证。张飞说：“他用手指天是说天气不错，我用手指地是说正好宰猪；他伸出一个指头是说只宰一头，我伸出三个指头是说三头都行；他连击三掌是说一头猪没有30斤，我在肚子上捶九下是说就是90斤的猪都有；他比着自己的肚子是说猪下水卖不卖，我举着自己的头是说就是要猪头我都给你。”诸葛亮怎么也没有想到，张飞就是凭着他当屠夫经历的胡应乱对，硬是把一个聪明过人诸葛孔明给请出了山。

　　http://v.blog.sina.com.cn/b/591857-1227010411.html

---

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 问一个笑话的名字和内容 - ？
始左醋酸： 很老的笑话猛张飞请智诸葛三国时,刘备手下有一员猛将,姓张名飞字翼德.他见兄长刘备两顾茅庐都没有把诸葛亮请出山来,便主动请缨,要去请诸葛孔明.这一天,旭日当空,艳阳高照.刘关张弟兄三人又来到卧龙岗.诸葛亮一见这三...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 非常搞笑的笑话要5个 - ？
始左醋酸： 1、我:“卧槽!你拉的屎形状和我拉得一样,咱们两个撞屎了!” 室在:“你能别这么恶心吗?” 2、宿舍一兄弟真诚的感谢我,略带颤抖说:你的脚臭的,我打呼噜都不敢张嘴了,现在把我打呼噜治好了!谢谢你啊!

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 求 个超级笑话~~ - ？
始左醋酸： 笑话 1、猫因生活所迫,在狐狸开的夜来香发廊坐台.一日,老鼠来到发廊点名要包夜,猫誓死不从.老鼠大怒道:当初追老子,追得死去活来,现在送上门,还假正经!2、医生问病人是怎么骨折的.病人说,我觉得鞋里有沙子,就扶着电线...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 本人求一些短笑话!或者笑话故事!谁多我采纳谁! - ？
始左醋酸： 八个鬼故事让你笑瘫 1,吃苹果话说在一个夜黑风高的夜晚,就在那条最长……最可怕的路上…… 计程车司机开过那里…… 有个妇人在路旁招手要上车…… 嗯……一路上……蛮安静的…… 直到那妇人说话了…… 她说:“苹果给你吃……很好...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 有没有特别搞笑的笑话、、 - ？
始左醋酸： 1.一卖煤的和一卖鸡蛋的打架,众人围观,好奇并问其原因,卖鸡蛋的说:“有他这样的吗~!我一喊:鸡蛋——!”他马上喊:“卖煤(没)了~~!!” 2.有点色,不发,3.苍蝇妈妈带着小苍蝇吃饭,它们飞到一堆牛粪上,小苍蝇郁闷地问:...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 最短又最好笑的笑话? - ？
始左醋酸： 1番茄甲和番茄乙去逛街,突然有一辆卡车冲了出来,压过番茄甲,番茄乙指着番茄甲大笑:“哈哈哈!” 2 从前有个剑客,他心是冷的,剑是冷的,手是冷的,于是他冻死了…… 3 一根香肠被关在冰箱里感觉很冷,然后看了看身边的另一根,...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 10个好笑的笑话,简短的 - ？
始左醋酸： 更多在空间奥,哈哈. 1、有次等公共汽车时,开过去一辆宝马,旁边一位高人对他身边的人说:“看,刚过去那辆就是IBM.” 2、我一朋友在联通实习,一天,一老头走近来,劈头盖脸就来句“给我办张移动卡,好吧?”然后我那朋友头也...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 征求全中国最好笑的笑话? - ？
始左醋酸： 【猪1和猪2在门口,猪3在屋顶.猪1的名字叫“谁” , 猪2的名字叫“哪儿” , 猪3的名字叫“什么”.】 于是精彩的对话就有了. (狼):你是谁? (猪1):对 (狼):什么? (猪)1:“什么”在屋顶. (狼):我是问你的名字叫什么? ...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 谁告诉我一些经典的笑话? ？
始左醋酸： 1有个小孩的头很象砖头,同学们都笑话他!他回去问妈妈:＂我的头象砖头吗?＂ 妈妈说你去水井旁边照一下就知道了!于是小孩就来到水井旁边往里伸头照,就听见下...

科尔沁左翼后旗15689955677： 来几个特搞笑的笑话 - ？
始左醋酸： 大蛇和小蛇出门,小蛇问大蛇我们有毒吗?大蛇说:有,一会小蛇又问我们真的有毒吗?大蛇还是说有,就这样小蛇一连问这个问题问了N回,大蛇不耐烦了,就说为什么老问这个,小蛇吐吐舌头说:刚才不小心我咬到舌头了…请采纳