我需要一部英文短剧的剧本。

要一个大学生英文话剧剧本，不用太长，十五六分钟就行，六个人演，台词简单点，搞笑点的，急需~

《 荆珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.


Action I


太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?


阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.


太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!


阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）


太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?


阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.


太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?


阿三：Yes.


Action II


（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）


荆轲
Are you Li mochou?


李莫愁
Yes.


荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.


李莫愁
Are you challenging me?


荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意


李莫愁
Come on!


音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑


李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?


荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）


李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.


荆轲再次大笑


太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?


荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?


太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?


荆柯：Sure!


太子丹：How are you?


荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?


太子丹晕倒


荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!


太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?


荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.


阿三：Hero，we need your help.


荆柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.


荆柯：I am very busy now!


阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?


荆柯：I am very very busy now!


阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.


荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!


阿三：What? What’s the TCM?


荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.


阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?


观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .


太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.


荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.


阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……



荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.


太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!



Action Ш

（《大话西游》主题曲响起）


荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.


阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.


荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends


太子丹：I will miss you, baby.


（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）


荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.


妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）

荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)


妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.


荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.


妻子:"I promise."


荆轲:"Never let go. “

妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）


妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去


妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……


妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.


阿三：Okay okay!


旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.

结束！

a boy and his tree
a long ago,there was a huge apple tree. a little boy love to come and play around it everyday.he climbed to the tree top,ate the apples,took a nap under the shadow…he loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.time went by…the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday.
one day,the boy came back to the tree and he looked.
"come and play with me ,"the tree asked the boy .
"i am no longer a kid, i don't play around trees anymore."the boy replied,
"i want toys.i need money to buy them."
"sorry,but i don't have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell them.
so,you will have money."the boy was so excited .he grabbed all the apples
on the tree and left happily.the boy never came back after he picked the
apples.the tree was sad.
one day,the boy returned and the tree was so excited.
"come and play with me ,"the tree said.
"i don't have time to play.i have to work for my family.we need a house for
shelter.can you help me?"
"sorry,but i don't have a house .but you can chop off my branches to build
your house."so the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.
the tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then.
the tree was again lonely and sad.
one hot summer day,the boy returned and the tree was delighted.
"come and play with me !"the tree said.
"i am sad and getting old.iwant to go sailing to relax myself.can you give
a boat?"
"use my truck to build your boat.you can sail faraway and be happy."
so the boy cut the tree truck to make a boat .he went sailing and never
showed up for a long time.
finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years.
"sorry,my boy.but i don't have anything for you anymore.no more apples for
for you…“the tree said.
"i don't have teeth to bite."the boy replied.
"no more truck foe you to climb on."
"i am too old for that now."the boy said.
"i really can give you anything…the only thing left is my dying roots."the
tree said with tears.
"i don't need much now,just a place to rest.i am tired after all these year"
the boy replied.
"good!old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. come,come sit
down with me and rest."the boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled
with tears……
this is a story of everyone. the tree is our parent. when we were young, we loved to play with mom and dad……
when we grown up, we left them…only came to them when we need something or when we are in trouble.
no matter what,parents will alway be there and give everything they could to make you happy.
you may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that how all of us are treating our parent.tme is too slow for those who wait,too swift for those who fear,too long for those who grieve,too short for those who rejoice,but for those who love,time is eternity.
从前，有一棵巨大的苹果树。
一个小男孩每天都喜欢在树下玩耍。他爬树，吃苹果，在树荫下小睡……他爱和树玩，树也爱和他玩。
时间过的很快，小男孩长大了，他不再每天都来树下玩耍了。
“来和我玩吧。”树说。
“我不再是孩子了，我再也不会在树下玩了。”男孩回答道，“我想要玩具，我需要钱去买玩具。”
“对不起，我没有钱……但是，你可以把我的苹果摘下来，拿去卖钱，这样你就有钱了。”
男孩兴奋的把所有的苹果都摘下来，高兴的离开了。男孩摘了苹果后很久都没有回来。树很伤心。
一天，男孩回来了，树很激动。
“来和我玩吧。”树说。
“我没时间玩，我得工作，养家糊口。我们需要一栋房子，你能帮助我吗？”
“对不起，我没有房子，但是你可以砍下我的树枝，拿去盖你的房子。”男孩把所有的树枝都砍下来，高兴的离开了。
看到男孩那么高兴，树非常欣慰。但是，男孩从此很久都没回来。树再一次孤独，伤心起来。
一个炎热的夏日，男孩终于回来了，树很欣慰。
“来和我玩吧！”树说。
“我过的不快乐，我也一天天变老了，我想去航海放松一下。你能给我一条船吗？”

“用我的树干造你的船吧，你就能快乐地航行到遥远的地方了。”男孩把树干砍下来，做成了一条船。
他去航海了，很长时间都没露面。
最后，过了很多年，男孩终于回来了。
“对不起，孩子，我再也没有什么东西可以给你了……”树说。
“我已经没有牙咬苹果了。”男孩回答道。
“我也没有树干让你爬了。”树说。
“我已经老得爬不动了。”男孩说。
“我真的不能再给你任何东西了，除了我正在死去的树根。”树含着泪说。
“我现在不需要什么了，只想找个地方休息。过了这么些年，我累了。”男孩回答道。
“太好了！老树根正是休息是最好的倚靠，来吧，来坐在我身边，休息一下吧。” 男孩坐下了，树很高兴，含着泪微笑着……
****************
这是每个人的故事，树就是我们的父母。当我们年轻的时候，我们愿意和爸爸妈妈玩。当我们长大成人，我们就离开了父母，只有我们需要一些东西或者遇到一些麻烦时，才会回来。不论怎样，父母总是支持我们，竭力给我们每一样能让我们高兴的东西。
你也许会想，男孩对树太残酷了，但是，那正是我们所有人对待父母的方式啊！

鸭子、小猫和鹅——很简短又很简单的一个故事，不知是不是你要找的那种： Little Duck: Hello, this is Little Duck speaking. Who’s that? Oh, dear Grandma. Yes, I’m fine. I miss you very much. I’ll come to visit you this morning. Good bye. Little Duck: Wow! What a sunny day! I’m going to visit my grandma. （猫先生正在河边捉鱼。但是他总是抓不到。） Little Duck: Good morning, Mr. Cat. How are you? Mr. Cat: Fine. Thank you, and you? Little Duck: I’m fine, too. What are you doing? Mr. Cat: I’m catching fish! Look! It’s a big fish! But I can’t catch it! Little Duck: Don’t worry. Let me help you. （小鸭子跳入河里，帮猫先生捉到了鱼。） Little Duck: Here you are. Have a good meal. Mr. Cat: Thank you. It’s so kind of you. Little Duck: My pleasure.（抬头看看天色）I have to go now. Mr. Goat: Help! Help! Little Duck: Who’s crying? Mr. Cat: I don’t know. Little Duck: Let’s go and see. Mr. Cat: Alright. （小鸭子和猫先生一起四处寻找。） Mr. Cat: Here! It’s Mr. Goat! Little Duck: What’s wrong with you, Mr. Goat? Mr. Goat: I was running with singing. But I ran too fast and fell down. My leg is broken. I can’t stand up. Little Duck: Don’t worry. Let me help you. Mr. Cat, can you do me a favor? Mr. Cat: Sure. （他们把山羊先生扶起来。然后一起送山羊先生回了家。） Mr. Goat: Thank you very much. Little Duck: It’s alright. Oh, it’s too late. I have to go now. Mr. Cat and Mr. Goat: Where are you going? Little Duck: I’m going to visit my grandma. Mr. Cat and Mr. Goat: Thank you for helping us. Little Duck: It’s my pleasure. Mr. Cat and Mr. Goat: Have a good time! Little Duck: I will. Good bye! Mr. Cat and Mr. Goat: Good bye!

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