关于幽默大师的英语脱口秀稿子

作者&投稿:芝兰 (若有异议请与网页底部的电邮联系)
英语课堂脱口秀稿子~

Hi, everybody. Hi! So I don't have too much time up here, before my green card expires. See I grew up in a poor neighborhood in China. The middle school that I went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement. And the students were required to bring bricks to school and ...We worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road. Years later, I heard about the term: child labor. I was like, what?! Those kids got paid?!
嗨,大家好啊!嗨!那个……我能表演的时间不多,因为我绿卡马上要过期了。我是在中国的穷乡僻壤长大的。我们初中某年突然决定要修整土路,铺上砖头和水泥,让学生们带砖头到学校来……我们玩命地干了三个礼拜终于把路修好了。多年以后我听说了这个词:童工。我立马就惊讶了,啥?!那些小孩干活还有钱拿?
I got a D minus. But I read that younger kids nowadays can't even read the analog watches any more. They can only read the digital ones. I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? It's gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 o'clock. I can't stay that long.
我拿到的只是D-。我看报道,如今的小孩都不会看手表了。他们只能看懂电子表。我心想,等他们长大以后该如何报告辣妹的位置啊?别人说,“辣妹在三点钟方向”。我不能待那么久的。
So I came to the US for college and I was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department. Like once I asked this girl out and she said, no. I said, are you sure? And she said to me, hey Joe, NO means NO. I said, well... it also means Nitric Oxide.
我来美国是读大学,我很喜欢科学,这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次,我来美国是读大学,我很喜欢科学,这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次,我约女孩子出去,她说不行。我问,真不行啊?她说,嘿,Joe,NO就是不行的意思。我说,NO也是一氧化氮啊。
And one year, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Here's something you guys should know about me. I don't approve of nudity in public. But when it happens, I want to be there.
有一年,我去新奥尔良参加狂欢节。 对于我,你们要了解一点,我是不赞同公共场合赤身裸体的。不过要是真有人这么干了,那我不能错过啊。
And when I first came to the United States, I took a English as a second language class. And the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students' names. So he just handed out a list of American names for us to choose from. And by the time I got the list, there were only two names left, so I just picked Joe instead of Jake. And the other day, I told that story to my son, Jake.
我初到美国时,参加了英语培训课程。我们

What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. “Can I help you?” The man said, “Sure. I’ve come to install the phone.”不够自己直接查百度那里很多

我:不要!人家今天晚上就来。
骗子愣了一下:还是明天早上来吧。
我:为什么!今晚你是不是约了别的狐狸精?你说,你给我说!是谁!
骗子把电话挂了。。。真没劲!!!


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