上周五 李平学校举行了一次运动会 写信给国外的朋友Maria告诉他运动会的情况 1比赛项目2 大家的表现 3j结果
你的开头写的有误， 改正如下：
We had a sports meeting at our school today. It was a fine day and we participated the events we are good at. Maria took place in the girl's 100-meter rely and won the first place with other three girls. We all cheered them up when they were in competition. But Liu Lin did badly on his long jump. He disqualified because he touched the red line three times on his last step in his running. What a pity he had because he is good jumper. Most importantly, I won the 1000- race among 20 competitor. It was quite hard during the running. But I just kept my pace and tried my best. How wonderful the day was!
1修改：他参加了学校举行的秋季运动会短跑比赛。
这个句子中，首先“出席”与“竞赛”搭配不当，一般我们不说出席什么竞赛，而是用参加。这是主要毛病。
其次，短跑竞赛这个说法一般也不常用，最好用“短跑比赛”。
2修改：秋天是个美丽的季节。或西安的秋天是个美丽的季节。
这个句子属于主语与宾语搭配不当。
3修改：六年级的同学都遵守小学生守则。 用词不当。
4修改：这本书我整整用了半天的时间才看完。病因：差不多和整整矛盾，去掉一个。
5修改：我们要珍惜时间，不要把时间白白的浪费掉。“白白的”和“无缘无故”重复，去掉一个。
How's it going?i'm writing to tell you something about the sports meeting held in our school last Friday.
it's a grand one ,and there were many sports items,such as running ,jogging ,skipping rope,long jump,high jump,badminton and the 4*100m relay.i also attended the 4*100m relay and our team won the second.
All the athletes tried their best to get better result .Even there is one girl who was knocked down on the ground when running,but she still stood up firmly and sticked to the end.
The results were remarked in class,and our class won 522 scores and ranked the 6th.The sports meeting ended successfully through all the students and staff's effort.
I look forward to hearing from you and know more about what is going on in your life!
Best regards
Liping
宥颖复方： Dear MariaHow's it going?i'm writing to tell you something about the sports meeting held in our school last Friday.it's a grand one ,and there were many sports items,such as running ,jogging ,skipping rope,long jump,high jump,badminton and the 4*...
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