下面是我自己写的一篇演讲稿，请英语高手帮我检查一下有没有明显的语法错误，然后帮我补个总结性的结尾

自己写了一篇英语演讲稿，请大家帮我找一找语法错误，帮忙修改一下。谢谢~

第二句, 删去 something
twon 串错了, 是town
第三行的句子改成:Qingdao's bathing beach is famous
第四行 good 加上 tourist attraction
第六行 删去much(因为跟more重复了)
第七行 删去And, 删去 something
第八行 by german 加 in the past, most of 加the, in "German style"
第十行 make Qingdao "looks" like a European country
最后, That's all I want to say, thank you 比较好

语法没错，老外看得懂。本人是做外贸的

Today I want to talk something about computer game players.
There are many youth like playing computer games, just like me ,which makes our parents very worried.Because many of them think that computer games are designed for layabouts,and it will make us pay less attention to study.
But here I want to say that this argument is wrong.In my view, the nature of the Olympics also is a kind of games.Why not treat computer games like "sports games"? People think that playing computer games will waste our time, whereas I think abandoning ourselves in any other games will waste our time,too.And playing computer games within limits can improve our reaction speed and develop our spirit of teamwork,which can be very useful in the future.
So, from my perpective, it is unfair to treat computer games as a monster. If we just behave ourselves and view the computer games just as something to relax, entertainment and even try to learn something from the playing, it can turn out to be kind.

粗粗改了下你写的，加了个结尾。顺便提点建议，你的论点挺好的，较新颖，不过就是在论述的过程中的不是很充分，感觉有点诡辩，因为别的游戏也浪费时间，所以电脑游戏就OK了？= =！ 一般来说都是从正面论述支持论据的，可以再加上一点反面支持，而不是像你这样一开始并且以反面论述为主，这样给人造成一种底气不足胡诌的感觉。另外可能为了语言的严谨用了may，但是太多了，反而显得语言不地道。建议多看下地道的英文。over，thanks~

我给你改了一下，你读读看满不满意
Today I want to talk something about computer-game players.（Today I want to talk something about players of computer games）Perhaps most of us like playing
computer games,which make our parents feel very worried.In their opinions,they may think computer
games are designed for layabouts,and they will make us pay less attention to our study.But now I
want to say that this arguement is wrong.In my opinion,the essence of the Olympics is just a
kind of games,too.Why not treat computer games as "sports games"?You may think that playing
computer games will waste our time,but I think abondoning ourselves in any other game will
waste our time,too.And playing computer games within limits can improve our speed of reaction
and develop our spirt of teamwork,which can be very useful in the future.

我直接改的，也仅仅是修改了语法错误。如果觉得有问题，欢迎追问
如果喜欢，请采纳
来自【翻译强团】

你自己读起来感觉通顺么？从你的字里行间我感觉你想用些advanced的单词，但可惜，用的不对，句子结构很不English.

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