英语翻译,短文
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”
Cat and Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道。“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?
病人:我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?
病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
我要表现得象位女士
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表现得象位女士
一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
他竭力忍耐着。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。
“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道,“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?”
“听着,”他说,“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。”
The Broom Seller and the Barber
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人和理发师
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"两便士"
"不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去."
卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."
Want a Day Off 想请一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天,史密斯去见他的客户部领导,“老板”,斯密斯说,“我们家明天要大搞清洁,我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库,搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊,你也知道,我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说,“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板,” Smith说,“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。
I Lost 我输了
It was at a five o’clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness.
“So good of you to come, Mr.Jones,and where is your brother?”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come,so we tossed up for it.”
“How nice!And so original, too! And you won?”
“No,” said the young man absently,“I lost.”
五点钟,下午茶的时间,一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。
“您能来可真好,琼斯先生,您的兄弟在哪儿呢?”
“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙,我们俩只能来一个,所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”
“太有意思了!还那么有独创性!那您赢了?”
“不,”年轻人心不在焉地说,“我输了。”
我很辛苦才找来的!
我是大卫,我是林肯远程教育学院的一名科学课教师。我所教的学生年龄届乎11至18岁之间。在许多方面,在远程高中教学就像在普通高中教学一样。我们必须批阅和评审了很多家课,学生门通过电子邮件上交。
我认为最大的区别是教室。这是一个小房间,里面除了我没有其他人。另一个区别是,我的实验是在上课时在镜头前做。起初似乎很奇怪,但比起教有30个孩子的一班更容易。另一个区别 —— 这对我来说,是最困难的事 —— 就是我看不到任何学生。他们可以见到我,但我见不到他们,所以我不知道他们对课堂是感兴趣还是觉得无聊。但我能听到他们,所以我平时上课时问他们问题,以确保他们在倾听!其实,我的大多数同学都很棒:他们认真听课,他们自己非常用功。
事实上,远程学校的学生非常用功,经常取得好成绩 —— 比很多正规学校的学生成绩更好。
~~~~~纯人手翻译,欢迎采纳~~~~~
原文如下:
I am David and I am a science teacher at Lincoln School of Distance Education. We teach students aged 11 to 18. In many ways, teaching at a distance high school is just like teaching in an ordinary high school. We have to read and mark a lot of coursework, which the students hand in by email.
The biggest difference, I think, is the classroom. It’s a small room and there’s nobody in it, except me. The other difference is that I give the class experiments to do in front of a camera. It seems strange at first, but it’s easier than teaching in front of a class of 30 kids. Another difference – and this is the most difficult thing for me – is that I can’t see any of the students. They can see me, but I can’t see them, so I don’t know if they are interested or bored by the lesson. But I can hear them, so I usually ask them questions during the lesson to make sure they’re listening! Actually, most of my students are great: they listen carefully to the lessons, and they are very good at working on their own.
In fact, students at a school of distance education work hard and often get good results – better than a lot of students at a regular school.
由在不同时区中航行所造成的航行时间滞后症问题变得一个频繁旅行的人的通病:百分之四十九的人认为这只是一种干扰,百分之四十五的人认为这的确一个实实在在的问题。它是由于体内生物钟混乱造成的,并且可能导致消化问题,疲劳和失眠。
一般来说,如果我们只是进入下一个时区,我们的生物钟只是受到稍微的干扰但是,但一旦我们一下子通过3-4个不同时区,飞行时间滞后症将变为一个问题。但是飞行时间滞后症的严重性也取决与我们旅行的方向。如果我们旅行路线为南北方向,我们并不会感到有什么异常,因为时区通常没有改变。但是如果我们向东西方向旅行,我们的生物钟作出反应之前我们自己已经提前通过时区了,因而各种各样的问题就产生了。
从另一方面说,一次自西向东的旅行让我们和当地时间比显得滞后了。当我们无法足够快地去适应新时间,这经常要求我们作出更大的努力来做灵活调整。因此,一次从纽约到洛杉矶的旅行,经常比从洛杉矶到纽约的旅行带来较少的问题。
时差,由不同时区造成,正在成为经常出差者一个共同的问题,:为百分之四十九,这只是一种滋扰和百分之四十五,是一个真正的问题。这是造成混乱的内部生物钟,并可能导致消化问题,疲劳和睡眠的干扰。
一般来说,我们的生物钟稍有不安,如果我们只是进入下一个时区,但时差成为一个问题一旦我们通过三个或四个时区。人体大约需要一天获得的每一个小时的时间difference.But的严重性,时差问题,还取决于我们的方向travel.If我们去北方或南方,我们不会通知任何区别,因为通常是没有时区change.However ,如果我们的旅行,我们将西提前自己至于我们的内部clodk关注,并出现任何问题。甲西向东的旅程,另一方面,使我们比较晚的本地时间。它ofter要求更大的努力,在调整,因为我们的速度不够快赶上新时代schedule.Therefore ,前往从纽约到洛杉矶往往造成较少的问题比在洛杉矶的纽约之行。
you bing ~!!~
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