求助一篇英语口语演讲作文，100字以内（笑话，故事等均可）急急！

求一篇100字左右的英语故事或笑话（要翻译）！~

Who Is the Laziest?

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

中文：

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？
汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。
父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？
汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

　Last term, I started to like comic, pop music. Lots of superstars are my idols. Such as Conan, Jay, Syusuke and so on. But my mum dislikes them. She wants me to study diligently. I have such kind of experience. One day, when I was reading Harry potter with great interest. My mum shouted, "This is a fantastic book, you should do your homework" How depressed I was at that time. So, I always feel uncomfortable when staying with my mum. I think my mum is too serious and too strict with me, and she seldom gives me freedom.（英语作文）
　　Today, lots of parents hope their children become talent, if we study without any rest, they will be happy. My mum always talks to me,"It's time to learn English, it's time to read Chinese text book." Our high score will be a great satisfaction to our parents. If we lose the high score in our single examination, they will be angry. Besides this, they are angry at our choices in comic, in music and even our way of speech. Mum, Dad, Do you know, they are not bad things, and they are our happiness.
　　If we plan to do something of ourselves, we had better try our parents understand us. If our parents see that we have high sense of responsibility, they will certainly give us the right to do what we want to do.

hey Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
汉译：
真美钞
一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。”

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

Sheep Oil soupWomen buy a lamb. Specifically to pick up tempted to turn to fat, but did not buy, Yang You only get a two-handed. Home, she hand-washing

“tinkled familiar ......” attends class the ting to make a sound, everybody sat listlessly on the seat, sighs. “oh, is also the mathematics courses!”I put out the exercise book, was taking advantage teacher did not have “to harness” lies prone on the seat dozes off. Teacher walked leisurely, a little looked like the male drunkard, but teacher was a female student. As soon as enters the classroom, teacher is called us to stand. “is assorted is assorted, has teacher gotten angry?”We are talking in whispers. “comes, 123, jump!”Teacher looks like an old naughty child to resemble, jumps together with us, jumps is jumping was also singing the ballad “121, mother does not buy the rice ......”, the ground is trod by us “thump” the sound, did not know that the downstairs does have the opinion! But everybody's interest actually all of a sudden has gotten up, on each person's cheek starts “the time to overflow the color”. After a while, teacher was called us to sit down, everybody actually also had not given full expression, is reviewing a moment ago pleasure. “has been peaceful, now starts to attend class!”Teacher makes the end of the period duplicate exercise to us, everybody does is very good! Teacher is also very happy. By now, did not know how a matter, outside the window does transmit suddenly “bang” a bang, teacher's window also vibrated, Luo “the star comedian” said loudly: “Ottmann arrived!”Everybody “roars” laughs. “ha ha!”My tear smiled, belly also laugh oneself sick, teacher saw has also been smiling with us, actually a little was bewildered, she said: “he said a moment ago is assorted?”We did not know where comes the courage, said with one voice: “Ottmann arrived!”Teacher also cannot bear, laughs, the entire classroom smiled one piece, a little looked like the insane asylum, ha-ha! “drops the drop!”Finished class the bell sound, I have not actually given up, this hall class's teacher was unkindness how; The atmosphere is harmony how; For person's feeling is joy how! This is a hall mathematics courses which I most like!

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