寒假趣事英语作文

寒假趣事英语作文~

英语笑话（一）

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话（二）

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话（三）

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员，

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid"

A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

忠告“年轻者”

这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，

千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”

英语笑话（八）Which woman?

One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

哪一位女人？

一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”

我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”

英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs

"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

医生住在楼下

“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

英语笑话（十）One Engine Left

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

I have a very good time in winter. To climb the mountain, my friend, I am really very happy, we began to climb in half, from the morning. We enjoy the beautiful scenery and lunch at 5 p.m. back. We like our this about winter vacation?
I am in the fun of the winter break. Hiking and friends really let me very happy, at half past eight in the morning, we began to climb, we can't enjoy the scenery on the mountain, eat lunch. We go home at 5:00. On this day, we really very happy. Your winter break?


我有一个很好的时间在冬季。去爬山，我的朋友，我真的很高兴，我们开始攀登，在半上午08时。我们享受着美丽的景色和午餐在下午5点回来。我们喜欢我们的这约寒假呢？
我在冬歇期的乐趣。徒步旅行和朋友们真的让我很开心，在早上8点半，我们开始攀登，我们不能享受风景，在山上吃午餐。我们回家在5:00。在这一天，我们真的很开心。你的冬歇期？

An interesting Sunday in my winter holiday!!Yesterday is Sunday,I went to the park to find someting interesting to amuse the eye .But the winter was not very good and it seemed to be rainning.So after a few minutes I want to go home.When I come approach to the corner of the road.I found a foreigner was coming to me !When he come to my side, he said:Good morning,boy ,may I ask you for a favor?I said yes ,of course ,I'm very glad to help a “laowai”.After conversation ,I realized that he want to go to the post office .And I told him I am very glad to take him to the post office.He was very happy .So we continued to talk when we walked to the destination.Suddenly, I said to him:have you eaten the breakfast?After I said this ,I foud he seemed to get confusion!What? He said to me with a anxious staring.And I repeat my question.And after a few seconds ,he laughed at me .I really didn't know why he laughed at me until I met may couison who study in university. He said to me in western, people never ask somebody if he or she had eaten the dinner .If two people come across ,they always talk about the condition of the weather .Because the weather in Englang is changebale and this topic is very safe .This is only the custom of China!I was so shame!After this matter ,I know I need to learn more and more Englishi culture .And realised that we should talk to the foreigners aim to practise our spoken English.
This is one of my interesting in winter holiday .And do you have some interesting stories?I am very glad to listen to you!!
寒假中一个有趣的星期天！昨天是星期天，我打算去公园找一些赏心悦目的景色放松一下自己。但是却发现天气不太好，似乎要下雨了。因此几分钟之后我便决定回家。当我走到街角的时候，我发现一个老外正向我这边走来。当他来到我的身边时 ，他说；“早上好，小男孩，我可以请求你给我一个帮助嘛？我说；‘当然可以’. 毫无疑问，我是十分乐意帮助老外的。经过交谈我发现他要去邮局，我愿意亲自带他到目的地。他非常高兴。我们便一边走一边交谈。忽然，我对他说：”您吃早饭了么？当我说完这句话之后我发现他看起来十分茫然。"什么”？他用充满好奇的眼睛盯着我说。于是我又重复了一遍自己的问题。几秒钟之后，他朝我大笑起来。我真的不知道他为何对我大笑直到我碰到我正在读大学的表哥。表哥告诉我在西方，人们见面从来不问他|她是否吃饭了。如果两个人见面他们通常会谈论天气情况。因为英国的天气是多变的，除此之外，这是一个比较安全的话题。谈论吃饭只是中国的习俗。听完表哥的话我是如此的不好意思！通过这件趣事，我意识到我们应该学习更多的英国文化。也意识到我们应该多与外国人交谈以练习我们的口语。
这就是我寒假中的一件趣事。你也有有趣的故事么？告诉我一下吧？

happy winter holiday
I have got a happy winter holiday this year. In this year, I have a 7-day winter holiday. In the first day, I went back to my hometown with my parents. When I got there, I saw my grandparents. Then we had lunch together. At that time, we not only had dilicious food,we also talk about our wonderful life. We laughed and sang, it was so happy then. After lunch, I got out and found my old friends in the field. They were all taller and stronger than before. We sat down on the ground and talk about funny things. It was so interesting and fun. We also played some funny games. I have never play such a funny game since I leave my hometown for a big city. I was so happy that day.It was the happiest time in my holiday. And it was so funny.

可以自己再去掉点

I hope, ah, ah hope! Finally盼到the Spring Festival this day. We有得玩Hello! New again, and past events such as wind, and I've taken away all the memories, and this year started my new life.
After dinner, I pulled her sister's hand, ran to the streets in one breath, "How beautiful ah!" I can not help admiration. The extraordinary momentum of the street, a sea of people, busy. We went around the streets of West East tour. What? Lions playing lights come! You see, head left before twisting right, looks very fierce, can be when it is to drill to drill, I also somewhat worried that the event fell to a how to do ah! And then thought for a while, the Lions are so smart how could it! So I continued to look静下心来lights. Too many people, and had no choice but to jump up to see.

I am in bed with her sister said today's interesting to see lights,迷迷糊糊only entered a dream

我就是这样写的得了99分，老师说100分可以给我的，但因为怕我骄傲给我99分，希望我再次写出更好的作文

Four great early morning, the father pushed open up windows, only heard the bang exclaimed: "wow! The world of ice and snow you beautiful!" I am delighted to hear, hurriedly dressed, then mother and father down the stairs while also taking the side shouting excitedly: "snowball fights myself! snowball fights myself!"

A fierce war began. And my father put the car leaves, the bridge to stop poles and snow on the ground have made a snowball from the mother when the referee started to snowball fights. One time, I saw flying snowball dance, laughter is also flying dance, my side chasing side playing, father fled the side edge back, I am pleased to sing: "The imperialist tail between its escape." At this time a father snowball fly over, I quickly returned fire. Accidentally, the snowball hit my father's feet, I angrily put a snowball flew into the father's neck, the father ran one straight side in cases of doubt: "I die of cold!好冷ah!" I shouted: "Oh, a win, a win!" happy mother laughed!

happy
winter
holiday
I
have
got
a
happy
winter
holiday
this
year.
In
this
year,
I
have
a
7-day
winter
holiday.
In
the
first
day,
I
went
back
to
my
hometown
with
my
parents.
When
I
got
there,
I
saw
my
grandparents.
Then
we
had
lunch
together.
At
that
time,
we
not
only
had
dilicious
food,we
also
talk
about
our
wonderful
life.
We
laughed
and
sang,
it
was
so
happy
then.
After
lunch,
I
got
out
and
found
my
old
friends
in
the
field.
They
were
all
taller
and
stronger
than
before.
We
sat
down
on
the
ground
and
talk
about
funny
things.
It
was
so
interesting
and
fun.
We
also
played
some
funny
games.
I
have
never
play
such
a
funny
game
since
I
leave
my
hometown
for
a
big
city.
I
was
so
happy
that
day.It
was
the
happiest
time
in
my
holiday.
And
it
was
so
funny.
你也可以自己适当的改编一下
寒假生活（Winter
vacation
life）
It
was
a
very
busy
evening,
I
was
doing
my
homework
at
my
home.
My
father
was
writing
a
composition
in
the
study
room.
My
mother
was
interested
in
Shanghai
opera.
She
was
watching
a
Shanghai
opera
contest.
the
apartment
was
very
quiet.
Suddenly
the
light
went
out.
It
was
a
blackout,
but
I
liked
it
very
much.
It
came
and
I
didn’t
have
to
do
my
homework.
We
went
to
the
living
room
very
slowly.
After
5
minutes,
we
all
sat
in
the
s
of
a.
It
was
a
lucky,
fortunate
day.
I
said
that
let’s
held
a
concert.
My
parents
aGREed
with
me.
I
took
out
some
candles
and
lighted
up.
We
were
singing,
laughing
and
talking.
We
had
a
really
good
time.
But
while
I
was
singing,
the
light
suddenly
turned
on.
Oh,
my
God.
My
father
went
back
to
h
is
room
went
on
writing.
My
mother
turned
on
the
TV
and
said
to
me“Dear,
do
your
homework!”I
felt
very
frustrated.
I
sat
at
the
desk
and
thought
I
hated
light.
I
hoped
there
would
be
a
blackout
the
next
day.
I
thought
I
would
enjoy
myself
more
and
more.
I
went
into
a
dream

---

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