英语翻译，请帮我修改下，这对我很重要，谢谢

这是我翻译的一片文章,对我很重要,请英语好的你帮我修改一下,谢谢~

原文:Secretary-General Kofi Annan's message on occasion of World Habitat Day."Cities For All,"to be marked October 1999(联合国秘书长科菲.安南在1999年10月举行的世界人居日"人人共有的城市"
[纪念活动/仪式]
上发表的致词).

When the century opened,one in 10 people lived in cities.As we prepare to leave it,more than half of humanmind does.That is more than three billion people.What kind of environment are those three billion living in,on the eve of the new millennium?

当新千年[错，应该是本世纪] 到来[开始] 的时候,[全球每] 十个人中至少有一个生活在城市里.当我们准备离开的时候[错，当我们与本世纪告别的时候],有超过一半的人[住在城市里] 也在这样做.那可是30多亿人呢!而当我们处在新千年前夕的时候,那30多亿人生活的环境又是怎样的呢?



The appeal of the city has always that it offers opportunity and the chance of a better life.But too often,it does not work out like that.Most of today's cities are sharply divided along class,race or ethnic lines——or even three at once(我不会翻译此句,请指教).Many millions of people live in overcrowded slums and squatter settlement,without access to basic services.And millions of the most vulnerable are women.

一个城市,只所以拥有难以抵挡的魅力,是因为它为美好的生活提供了可能和机会.但是事实往往并非如此.当今大多数城市都[存在着。。。的鸿沟/巨大差异，有时三种差异/鸿沟同时存在]被按照阶级,人种或种族进行了硬性划分.有数以百万的人都生活在拥挤的贫民窟和违法的建筑区里,连基本的[市政] 服务都享受不到.而在他们当中,最为脆弱的就是女性.



These people lead insecure lives,and have little or no say in decisions that shape their lives.But we can help them break free.We can give them security of tenure,they are likely to invest in creating better homes,better neighbourhoods and ultimately,better communities,and that when local government work in genuine partnership with civil socity——including the urban poor——the entire environment thrives.

这些人的生活毫无保障,在制定影响其生活的决策[过程中] 时也没有任何发言权,但是我们可以帮助他们冲破藩篱,获得自由.我们还能给他们可靠的房地产持有权[居住权] ,而他们,也就有可能[努力去] 创造美好的家园,更好的[社区] 邻里关系,最终会创造一个更好的社会.当当地[地方] 政府和民间团体[包括城市贫民在内的公民社会团体] 以及城中的贫民能像真正[携手努力]的伙伴一样一起工作,整个[城市环境] 就会变得生机盎然.



On this last World Habitate Day of twentieth century,let us recommit ourselves to making the Habitate Agenda come true and to ensuring that all people living in cities——young and old,rich and poor,man or woman——have a say in the decisions that affect their lives.Because cities that succeed are indeed "Cities For All",let's start building now.

在这个20世纪最后一个“世界人居日”[要加双引号] 上,让我们再次承诺:让人居议程成为现实并且保证所有生活在城市里的居民,不管是年青人还是老年人,穷人或是富人,男人抑或是女人，在制定影响其生活的决策当中都有发言权,因为一个城市的成功就是实现"人人共有",让我们现在就开始着手建设吧!

修改都在方框里，有些地方需要删掉的，相信你自己可以发现并且理顺吧。
评价：
总体上翻的还行，可惜一些关键地方理解错误或漏译，还要更加细心才行啊。

先替你把汉语修改一下：
关于袋子的包装，建议考虑一下是否把袋子打开为好，因为如果袋子密封的话，由于胶袋不透气，水分子会逐渐在胶袋内部凝聚，造成袋子内部潮湿问题很严重。粉色玩具熊是在回潮天包装出货的，所以本身比较潮湿。另外，我们在包装的时候，已经解决了玩具熊上面的味道问题。并且放了多包干燥剂。不过我无法确定，经过20多天的海运，这批玩具熊会不会再次回潮。
Speaking of packaging,I suggest tha you lay the bags open for should it be a sealed bag,the moisture might gather inside the bag by a large amount,which will cause a severe moisture problem for the toys inside.The pink toy bears were packaged on a wet day,so they were moistened after that.However,we have solved this problem by putting many small bags of desiccant inside the packages.But I'm not sure whether those toy bears might get moistened again after a 20-day-plus voyage.

**** factory is located in shenzhen China。It is developed from a design studio which was founded by Mr Liang . with excellent ability of product development and design, Our Factory have obtained unanimous approval. **** toys factory ,founded in 2004 , is a professional cotton product manufacturer which is involved in design, development, production and vendition as well.. It is also the China's first factory that is specialized in the manufacture of pure cotton product, the factory mainly in the development manufacture of various kinds of environmental protecting, healthy and safe products,including a series of pure cotton products of baby,cotton pillow, cotton shopping bag ,ect...

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宁县15619824385： 请英语高手翻译下面的英语短话,这对我很重要!不要用翻译器! - ？
须雍奥尔： I have something to tell you, and please have a sit before it. After a whole night thinking, I think it's better for both of us to keep the status quo. Chinese prefer to be euphemistic when make new friends. Face to face is too early for us now, I'm afraid it ...

宁县15619824385： 求一名懂英语的大侠帮我翻译下下面的英语,帮我翻译成中文,这个对我很重要不要误导我,这关于我滴爱情One of the most amazing thing in the world is ... - ？
须雍奥尔：[答案] 世界上最神奇的事莫过于你认为自己丝毫没有机会争取到的人爱上了你 为了避免误人子弟,简单将这个句子拆分:one of the most amazing thing in the world is ...世界上最神奇的事之一莫过于having someone who falls ...

宁县15619824385： 请高人翻译一段英文,这对我很重要,非常感谢!!!! - ？
须雍奥尔： 谢谢,我真不知该说些什么 也许这是开始,也许这是终结;但作为朋友,我想你有一些事情误会了:(你所感受的,我也有同样的感受.但我不得不控制这种情绪,以阻止它的蔓延.我们应该是朋友) 你带给我太多的东西,这一点我无以言表.希望你能放下那些“包袱”,重拾崭新的自我.每个人都只有一次生命——这是不争的事实 但愿你生命的每时每刻都能享受期间,哪怕有的时候会很煎熬…… 然而,当你需要什么的时候,用着特殊的代码联系我,不论你要的是什么……

宁县15619824385： 希望大家帮我翻译出下面的英文这对我很重要？
须雍奥尔： beatles的这首yesterday,也是我很喜欢的哦!o(∩_∩)o...All my troubles seemed so far away. 一切烦恼似乎都那么遥远 Now it looks as though they're here to stay. 而今好像它们又萦绕我周围 I believe in yesterday. 我相信昨天 Suddenly 很突然地 ...

宁县15619824385： 帮我准确的翻译一下,谢谢.这对我很重要!？
须雍奥尔： 是的.见到你实在太高兴了...并且是一份如此愉快的意外 这很困难,没有能力用言语来表达...但我仍很高兴遇见你 亲切地致意

宁县15619824385： 下面的可以帮我翻译陈英文吗这对我很重要,拜托了？
须雍奥尔： i realized that i don't deserve you, you know how much i care. miin(敏) can you find in your heart to forgive me. i love you... 我并没有写出＂理解＂,因为英文理解意思有点歧义.(就像你不懂我一样). 所以就轻微的修改了两个文化中的词语.希望能帮助你

宁县15619824385： 帮我翻译一下,千万别出语法错误!!!这对我太重要了! - ？
须雍奥尔： Graeme: This is Lucy. I am not very familiar with the way British people speak, so there might be some problems, can you please help me to correct them? Thanks. I am writing an article and I plan to send it to the magazine publisher. It's about Aston ...

宁县15619824385： 英语翻译,请帮我修改下,这对我很重要,谢谢****工厂位于中国深圳,最初由创始人Mr Liang成立的一家开发,设计工作室发展而来,凭借卓越的产品开发... - ？
须雍奥尔：[答案] **** factory is located in shenzhen China.It is developed from a design studio which was founded by Mr Liang . with excellent ability of product development and design, Our Factory have obtained unanimous approval. **** toys factory ,founded in 2004 , ...

宁县15619824385： 英语高手,帮我翻译下,这段英文对我很重要!谢谢了？
须雍奥尔： 这是邮件服务器上的Postfix程序.很遗憾地通知你,你的邮件无法送达一个或多个接收人.邮件附在下边.如需其他帮助,请发送邮件到 postmaster.如果你给postmaster发送邮件时,请把这封出错报告一同附上.你可以把本信所附的退回邮件中你自己写的部分删去.Postfix程序 <www.yykf@chinaduo.com>:数据格式错误.命令输出:www.yykf:邮箱不存在.

宁县15619824385： 谁能帮我翻译一句英语,懂得请进来.谢谢 - ？
须雍奥尔： F.R.A.N.C.E Friendships ramain And never can end. 法国——友谊长存,海枯石烂 Friendships ramain And never can end .是“友谊长存,海枯石烂”(友谊只会延续,不会结束).每个词的首字母组成单词又是France(法国).