初二上学期的英语小短文笑话,(不要对话,短小点)

初二英语小笑话~

One day after school a tree-lined trail, Xiao Maohai a lovely to see me holding a bag of candy attractive, Staring straight candy go, I see him so cute slander, So funny, he's playing: You called my sister gave ten sound you eat candy, Voice faded, the "Voice of the tenth sister," Xiao Maohai immediately called the!
"I am speechless by ...?" ah!
某天,经过学校的一条林荫小道，
一可爱的小毛孩见我手里拿着一包诱人的糖果，
直瞪着糖果不放，我见他谗得那么可爱，
于是逗他玩的：你叫十声姐姐我就给你糖果吃的，
话音刚落，“十声姐姐”小毛孩立刻就叫了！
“啊。。。？”我无言了！《转》作者：小美 （版权）
打字不易，如满意，望采纳。

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

1,Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

新老师

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。

"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后

5.You looked a lot like my wife

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

6. I Could Use a Little Money

Dear Father,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply don't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

7.Two thousand five hundred!"

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"

8.Is John Listening?

Teacher: John, why aren't you listening?
John: But, teacher, I am listening!
Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said.
John: You said, "John, why aren't you listening?"

9. Keys to one Success

One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness.

Once you promise somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's word.'

"What is cleverness? asked his son.

"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.

10.I always do

Two motorists stopped head-on on a bridge too narrow for their cars to pass.

"I never back up for an idiot." said one driver angrily.

"I always do." replied the other as he shifted into reverse.

11.He told me to see you

Doctor: And whom did you consult about your illness before you came to me?

Patient: Only the druggist down at the corner.

Doctor: And what sort of ridiculous advice did he gave you?

Patient: He told me to see you!

12.How are you？ 翻译：怎么是你呀？
How old are you? 怎么老是你呀？

13.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，
忙说：I am sorry.
老外应道：I am sorry too.
某人听后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?
某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.

14.A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

---

上杭县19241165754： 初二英语小笑话 - ？
叔琦达发： One day after school a tree-lined trail, Xiao Maohai a lovely to see me holding a bag of candy attractive, Staring straight candy go, I see him so cute slander, So funny, he's playing: You called my sister gave ten sound you eat candy, Voice faded, the ...

上杭县19241165754： 找一段英语笑话,80词以下(不要太短),初二同学能听懂的,而且要好背,别忘了翻译呀？
叔琦达发：＂ All the kids make fun of me,＂ the boy cried out to his mother.＂They say I have a big head.＂ (“所有的小朋友都嘲笑我,”小男孩对妈妈哭诉,“他们说我有一个大脑袋.”) ＂Don't listen to them,＂ his mother consoled. ＂ You have a ...

上杭县19241165754： 英语 小笑话 短点的 不要太多生词 我初二啊 最好3分钟就可以的 - ？
叔琦达发： A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married immediately. The next day she ...

上杭县19241165754： 谁有初二的英语小故事,幽默笑话也行,足够3分钟就行了?英文也可以.？
叔琦达发： A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow… He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.Time went by…The ...

上杭县19241165754： 初二的英语笑话作文 - ？
叔琦达发： One day a French man goes to New York.He don't know a word of English.When he arrive in New York,he takes a taxi to the hotel.It's Sunday,so the Frenchman wants to go out for a walk.He walks along the streets and then stop,for he remeber he ...

上杭县19241165754： 初二英语搞笑短文 请附带翻译和几个文中的问题 并回答 短文越搞笑越好 - ？
叔琦达发： 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱. “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“...

上杭县19241165754： 搞笑点的英语小笑话,初二阶段的,明天值日,急啊!!!谢了,各为 - ？
叔琦达发： I'm Phil, and today we will learn a new story.A husband said to his wife, ＂ Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?＂ ＂Well,＂ his wife answered at once.＂ The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God...

上杭县19241165754： 初二英语小故事!最好不是笑话!不要超过80词!忘了说!需要25个! - ？
叔琦达发：[答案] Napoleon in a battle with the enemy,the tenacity of the resistance encountered,the team suffered heavy losses,the situation is very dangerous.Napoleon also inadvertently fall into the quagmire of time,have been made all over the mud,mood. Can look at ...

上杭县19241165754： 哪位有适合初中学生阅读的英文笑话和小文章,最好不要太长,简单的适合背诵的 - ？
叔琦达发： 笑话: Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, i.e., stow trash, no ...