求个英语搞笑小品
Father's Things
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.
"And that shirt's mine too."
"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.
"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.
"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
父亲的东西
汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。
霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。
一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”
“还有那衬衫也是我的。”
“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。
“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。
“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”
The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） Tiger: I’m a great tiger. I’m very athletic. I’m very brave. I’m the king of the forest.But now I’m very hungry. I must find a little food. Oh, there’s nothing here. Oh, I’m very hungry. (Sleep soundly)老虎： 我是一只伟大的老虎。 我非常强壮。 我是非常勇敢的。 我是森林的国王。但现在我非常饿。 我必须发现些食物。噢，我好饿。 (酣然昏眠) Fox: I’m a fox. You can see, I’m pretty and lovely. I’m good at cheating and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is! 狐狸： 我是狐狸。 您能看，我是俏丽和可爱的。 我是擅长于欺诈和告诉谎言。 我刚才欺诈了乘员组在肉片外面。 Mm,Mm,Mm。 它是多么可口! Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal. 老虎：Ah，一只狐狸。 一顿好午餐。 Ah，一顿好午餐。 Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do? Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister! How are you?狐狸： 噢，我的上帝! 我该怎么办? 是，我有一个好想法。 是，一个好想法。 你好! 老虎姐妹! 您好吗? Tiger: Not so good. I’m very hungry now. I want to eat you.老虎： 不那么好。 我现在非常饿。 我想要吃你。 Fox: Oh, my dear! I’m the king of the forest! You can not eat me.狐狸： 噢，我亲爱！我是森林的国王！你不能吃我！ （老虎装作疑惑） Fox: If you don’t believe me, just follow me and see who is the king of the forest.狐狸： 如果您不相信我，就跟我走，看看谁是森林的国王。 Tiger: Ok. Let’s go.老虎： 好。 我们去。 Rabbit: I’m a rabbit. I like to eat a Carrot. Ah, a big Carrot. 兔子： 我是兔子。 我喜欢吃胡萝卜。Ah，一个大胡萝卜。 Bird: I’m a bird.鸟： 我是鸟。 Rabbit: Hi! 兔子： 喂! Bird: Hi! What are you doing, Miss Rabbit? Can I help you?鸟： 你好! 在做什么呢，Rabbit小姐？ 我可以帮助您吗？ Rabbit: Yes, please兔子： 是，请。 Frog: I’m a frog. Hello! What are you doing? What can I do for you?青蛙： 我是青蛙。 你好! 您在这里做着什么？ 我可以为您做什么？ Rabbit: Yes, come on!兔子： 是，来吧! Frog : Ok! I’m coming!青蛙： 好! 我来拉! Fox: Hello, Frog!狐狸： 你好，青蛙! Frog: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)青蛙： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉) Fox: Hello, Bird!狐狸： 你好，鸟！ Bird: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)鸟： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉) Fox: Hello, Rabbit!狐狸： 你好，兔子! Rabbit: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)兔子： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉) Fox: Tiger, Now, you see. I’m very athletic.! They all run away!狐狸： 老虎，现在，您看见。 我太强大了! 他们全都跑掉!
Little Red Riding Hood第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家
Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌紫的水果放在篮子里）
Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?
Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.
Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!
Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.
Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.
Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.
第二场：在路上
(一阵轻快的音乐远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)
Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.
Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)
Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill.
Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks.
Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)
Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you?
Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?
Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.
Six Ducks：Goodbye．
第三场：Grandma家
Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．
Grandma： Who is it？
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.
Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in.
Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.
Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）
灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.
Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma．
Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!
Wolf：Come in， Come in.
Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌紫，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!
Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.
Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!
Wolf：I can see you pretty face.
Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.
Wolf：I can hug you.
Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?
Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!
Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No!
Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping.
Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping.
Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)
Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌紫拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.
Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．
Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．
Grandma： (从桌紫拿来针线)
Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three.
Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里)
Grandma： I'll thread it.
Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up!
Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.
Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!
Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me!
Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!
Wolf： (应声倒下)
Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．
Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you．
Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you
面试
一个是招聘的人，其他5个是应聘的。剩下的几个人，各种搞怪性格（游戏狂啊、跑酷的啊，娘娘腔啊。。。等等拉）
细节自己去想吧。
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