请各位高手帮忙批改英文作文! 谢谢! 批改英文作文&缩减至300字

请求各位帮忙批改英文作文!!!~

My favourite character
My favourite character is Jared.
I like him because he was very brave. he charged into the forest to save his brother, whom he loved very much. when his brother was injured, he was worried about his life. Jared also loved his friends too, because when griffin was injured, he took care of her.

My favourite part of the story
my favourite part of the story is Chapter Five, where Jared and Mallory were on their way to save his brother Simon, met Hogsqueal. The story was very exciting and the character's personalities are fully developed here. i was mesmerized by the part where Hogsqueal took a handkerchief from his pocket and spat at Jared and Simon, so that they could see all the goblins. everything in the story is very foreign to me but at the same time attractive and entertaining.

综合一下第4楼，第3楼吧，3，4都说得太好了。赞一个先。但3楼中in the party是不对的。你用on at 都好，就是不能用in.in the party是已入党的意思。至于第2句，你可以改成An English party will be hold by our Students"Union on Mid-Autumn Festival from 7:30 to 9:30 on the playground in our school.
第4句，It will let us to be excited
希望能帮到你。作文好好练

Dear Paula,
hi , how about you ? Are you busy to be a horror story writer ?
My school is suitable to be a horror story sence.It is because when my school is turn off all the light at night,it is very scare and gloomy.
our school surrounding area have some tress. One of the tress has a rope that is hanging. It is said a girl had hanged in that tress, since she was crossed in love. Some children saw the girl let down with a rope at night and also usually hear the piercing sounds.

our school has happened a homicide case about a teacher who was Mr.Hai had mental disord. He killed students after school.
As we all know that , this was posted in the major newspapers. The classroom was reject using. I think this classroom is absolutely gloomy,empty and dusty. Some gossip said the wall had been seepage red liquid. And nobody know that what is it!

My school toilet is very scare , it is because the toilet is very wear and the light is very dim . I have
heard a terrible story from school toilet . It about a girl go to toilet during a lesson. During the girl
going toilet , she heard a sound was singing , but the toilet was no people. Then she screamed and ran away

my school has a lots of scary places and story but I think these two is the most horrible.I hope you can use my school for your story . hope this suggestion can help you .

Love,
Chris

该作文错误太多，无法一一修改。另外，不知作文的题目与主旨，如何改？
中文的习惯痕迹太重。

Coclusion , my school has a lots of scary places and story but I think these two is the most horrible.I hope you can use my school for your story because my school is very suitable . hope this suggestion can help you .

Love,
Chris

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