麻烦谁来帮我修改下这篇短文 谢谢了 英语高人速来啊

谁能帮忙把这篇短文翻译一下，谢谢啦！~

excited
to go
because
experience/tips (传授一些经验/技巧，这个空的可能性挺多的，你翻翻教材，看书上是什么)
one
Curiosity
for
detailed
possible
be accused
短文翻译，仅供参考：
这是周洋在《中国日报》报社上班的第一天。他很激动，期盼着自己能够独立发现一条新闻（story 在这里自然是”新闻报道“的意思，学英语要多翻词典，一个熟悉的词往往会有很多你不熟悉的意思。）但经验不足的他还不能独立完成。他的新老板正在跟他分享如何成为一名优秀记者的经验呢。
要成为一名优秀的记者，必须要保持一颗充满好奇的心（to be curious）, 好奇心引导一个人去问不同的问题，去寻求他需要知道的所有信息。（enable sb to do sth 使某人能做...）此外，一名记者必须对一条新闻有敏锐的觉察和判断力，[have a nose for sth 对...有觉察力；善于发现...]，能够察觉到是否有人在说谎（这个地方翻译得比较灵活）。在采访当事人时，记者必须非常仔细地聆听当事人的回答，以便挖掘其中的细节并且基于当事人的回答来提出下一个问题。（If possible）如果条件允许的话，记者可以把采访现场录下来，（In case）以防因为报道不实（printing lies）而被当事人指控。

演员妮可基德曼1967年出生于夏威夷的火奴鲁鲁。她的父亲，一个澳大利亚人，当时在夏威夷的一个学生。在她4岁时，基德曼随全家回到澳大利亚生活，在悉尼郊外长大。

基德曼早期就对表演感兴趣。她第一次演出是在她6岁时，她在学校的圣诞盛会上扮演一只羊。在她十几岁时，学习了戏剧和舞蹈。她有重大突破之前，她表演过几个电视配角：1985年，凭她在电视连续剧越南作用中表演被澳大利亚电影学院受予女演员奖。那年她只有17

不劳无获
（这篇文章，可能要换种译法，未尝苦果，则无收获）

我10岁时，遇到了一件可怕的事情，因为那一刻我就在生死之间。
我出生在沿海城市，这个城市的人们非常喜欢在海里游泳，而我通常晚饭后就到海滩上去，这已经成了我的习惯。事情当天，天气恶劣，海上刮着大风。而我对自己的游泳技术过于自信，当时我太兴奋了，走得离海岸越来越远。也许那段距离对于大人不算什么，但是对于我而言，我敢说，水可以没过我整个人，天气更糟了，这时我才意识到危险，但是太迟了，一个大浪突然向我袭来，我呛了一口水，海水把我吞噬了，我尽力想保持清醒，竭尽全力自救，但又有一个个大浪打来，然后我完全沉入了水中。我觉得自己的意识越来越模糊，甚至对疼痛都失去了感觉，我什么也不知道了，除了意识到后来我被送回到海滩上，爸爸救了我，那时我嚎啕大哭，我也不知道为什么我会哭，也许因为害怕，也许因为高兴，也许因为我被感动了。
后来我知道了，爸爸总是跟着我来到海边，只是它从来不让我知道。爸爸给了我生命，在我面临死亡时，他又救了我，在此我不想刻意感谢爸爸，因为在父母面前，每天都是感恩节。
中国有句俗语，“溺死的都是会游泳的”。所以从那次事故以后，如果我去游泳，我就会非常小心，也许是因为吃一堑长一智。

When I was 10 years old, I encountered a terrible thing that I will never forget, because at that moment I was between life and death.
I was born in a coastal city, where the people are very fond of swimming in the sea and I always went to the beach after dinner, this became my habit. My story took place in a bad weather day, then sea wind was so heavy. I was too confident about my swimming skill, I went to the beach for swimming alone. So excited I was, I was farther and farther away from the shore. Maybe it was nothing for an adult, but I dare say the water was deeper than my height. The weather was getting worse, then I was aware of the danger and decided to return to shore, but it was too late, a big wave came towards me suddenly, water chocked me and swallowed me, I tried to keep awake and spared no effort for saving myself, but another big wave follow came, I was submerged, I was loosing my consciousness. I even could not feel the pain. But a big hand caught me and pulled me to move, I knew nothing except that I was returned to the beach later. My father saved me and I cried at that moment, I didn't know why I was crying. Maybe its for fear or cheer, maybe I was really moved.
Later I knew that my father always followed me without my awareness. My father gave me my life and my father saved me in the face of death. I do not want to say thanks to my father here because everyday should be a Thanksgiving Day when I is around my parents.
As a saying goes in China, "the one who drowns is the one who is good at swimming". Thus after that incident, I have always been very careful when I go to swim, may be this is by falling we learn to go safely.

一分耕耘一分收获

我遇到了一个可怕的事情时，我10岁，我永远不会忘记，因为在那一刻，我生命与死亡之间它。
我是出生在沿海城市，这个城市非常喜欢在海里游泳，我总是在晚饭后到海滩上的人民，这已经成了我的习惯。那一天我的故事是一个恶劣的天气一天，海风是如此沉重，我很为我的游泳技术过于自信，所以还是不得不去海滩，独自在海中游泳，我感到非常兴奋，所以距离越来越远岸边，也许这不是成人很远，但我敢说，水深度超过我的身高，天气越来越差，我意识到了危险于是决定返回岸边，但为时已晚，一个大浪驶来我突然那么我呛水，被水吞没，我试图保持清醒，并用尽一切努力，以自助，但一个大浪遵循又来了，当时我完全入水淹没，我觉得我的意识逐渐模糊甚至感觉不到疼痛，但一只大手抓住我，拉着我提出，我什么都不知道，但我意识到，我回到了海滩后，我的父亲救了我，我哭了那一刻，我不知道我为什么在哭在那个时候，也许是因为恐惧或感到高兴，也许我被感动了。
后来我知道，我的父亲总是带着我到海边，但他从未向我说清楚。我的父亲给了我生命和我的父亲保存在面对死亡时我，我不想在这里感谢，因为在父母面前我的父亲是日常感恩节。
有一种说法在中国，仅仅是“一个谁淹没是一个谁是擅长游泳”，使这一事件之后，我总是非常小心，当我还在游泳，这一下降可能是我们学会去安全的。

I encountered a terrible thing when I was 10 years (old). (And) I (can) never (forget)表达永远不能忘记 it because at that moment I was between life and death.
I was born in a coastal city, the (people) of this city (love) swimming in the sea and I always go to the beach after dinner. ( This) (have) become my habit. (The weather of that day in my story was bad) and sea wind was so heavy(.) I was very (overconfident) of my swimming technique, so (I) still ( ) went to the beach and (swam) in the sea alone(.) I was very excited (and I got) farther and farther away from the shore(.) (Maybe) that is not very far for adult, but I (am sure) the water (was) deeper than my height(.) (When) the weather (got) worse, I realized the danger so (I) decided to return to shore(.)句子太长了，可以适当截开 (However,) it (was) too late(.) (A) big wave came towards me suddenly then I choked (by) water and (I was drowned.) I tried to stay awake and (used) all efforts to (survive.) (But) a big wave (followed), then I was completely submerged into the water,(and) I (felt) my consciousness gradually blurred (away?). (I) even can't feel the pain(.) (All in a sudden) a big hand caught me and pulled me ( ). I (did) not know anything but I realized that I returned to the beach later(.) (It was) my father (who) saved me and I cried ( hard?). I (didn't) know why I was crying (at) that time(.) (Maybe) (it was) because (of) fear or ( happiness), (or) maybe I was moved.
Later I (found out表示由不知道到知道) that my father always came to the beach with me, but (he主句主语不是父亲，不能省略他) never made me aware (of that). My father gave me my life and (he) saved me (from) death(.) I do not want to thank my father here because (for) parents everyday (should be fathers' day or mothers' day) Thanksgiving.(囧，感恩节ms是庆祝作物丰收的？)
There is a saying in China (that) "the one who drowns is the one who is good at swimming"(.太长了) (So) after that (accident), I (was) always very careful when I was swimming(.) (Maybe) this is by falling we learn to go safely没明白最后是神马意思

大概改了一下，有些地方我也不确定你要表达的意思，最重要就是句子的完整，还有不要太长

后面太乱了，就直接改了。你对照一下原文就知道了。
Glance at the graph provided （which) (原句里有glance,show两个动词，语法上错误，加上which，把它变成了从句）
shows(主语graph是单数） the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart (concerns with) （整句句子里没有动词，所以把concern作为动词，concern with sth.是固定搭配）
the information of (electricity that used in English families.)（这个词组表达错误,英国家庭一般用English families）

According to the graph, we can see clearly that (in winter) （句子较长时，时间状语放前面比较符合英语表达方式）(the consumption of electricity in English families is larger（数量用large,不用high) than that in summer ) (in winter always above 30,000). Electricity consumption fluctuates during 0:00 to 12:00. The consumption of electricity （电力消耗用这个词组表达）at 2:00 is about 40,000. At 9:00, it drops to 30,000. However, （前后句意思反差较大，加个转折连词表达更通顺）the number rises slowly from 38,000 to 41,000 in the afternoon.（在下午，介词用in,in the afternoon) In the evening, the electricity consumption reaches the maximum in the whole day.(一整天中,这是固定表达） It soars rapidly from 41,000 to 45,000 during 19:00 to 23:00. At 0:00 ,（在一整天中的最后一小时，就是0：00）it plunges(主语单数） down to 35,000.

Let's （没有 let we这个说法）look at the second curve of this graph. It indicates（单数） the information of the consumption of electricity of English familie in summer. It differs（different是形容词，它的动词是differ) from that of the winter. It doesn't change greatly （表达程度的副词用greatly) in one day.
The electricity consumption usually waves between 12,000 and 18,000, but at the 9:00 it drops (下降至，用drop比较好）to 12,000 and at 13:00 ,it reach the highest point of （具体数值用0f表达）20,000.

The pie chart illustrates(单数） the amount of eletricity that used by different electrical equipments. （电力使用分布，根据上下文的意思来看，应该是指不同电器使用的电力，所以这样改）We find that the eletricity used （使用在烧水和供暖系统的电力占到。。。所以主语应该是使用的电力，）in heating rooms and water occupy 52.5 percents of the total consumption. Radio and TV consums 15 percents, which is the same amount that vacuum cleaners and food mixers used.（这个就是吸尘器和food mixers消耗电的比例与radio,TV是相同的都是15%） The remainders are shared by the ovens, kettles and washing machine. （剩余的是复数，动词用share比较恰当）

In conclusion, （总之，比all in all要更地道）according to these picture, we can find the information of eletricity used in English families and kinds of electrical equipments that used in winter and summer.

自己打的，蛮辛苦，望LZ采纳

希望我的回答对你能有帮助，^_^ 也希望你能采纳为最佳答案！

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No pain No gain

I encountered a terrible thing when I was 10 years and I never forgot it, because at that moment I was between life and death.
I was born in a coastal city, the peoples of this city very fond of swimming in the sea and I always go to the beach after dinner, this had become my habit. That day of my story was a bad weather day and sea wind was so heavy, I was very overconfidence of my swimming technique, so still had went to the beach and swum in the sea alone, I was very excited so farther and farther away from the shore, maybe that is not very far for adult, but I dare say the water deeper than my height, the weather is getting worse, I realized the danger so decided to return to shore, but it's too late, a big wave came towards me suddenly then I choked a water and be swallowed by water, I tried to stay awake and exhausted all efforts to self help, but a big wave follow came again, then I was completely submerged into the water, I feel my consciousness gradually blurred even can't feel the pain, but a big hand caught me and pulled me to move, I do not know anything but I realized that I returned to the beach later, my father saved me and I cried the moment, I don't know why I was crying in that time, maybe because fear or felt happy, maybe I was moved.
Later I knew that my father always came to the beach with me, but never made me aware that him. My father gave me my life and my father saved me in the face of death, I do not want to thank my father here because in front of parents everyday is Thanksgiving.
There is a saying in China, just "the one who drowns is the one who is good at swimming", so after that incident, I always very careful when I was swimming, may be this is by falling we learn to go safely.

---

西乡塘区17019991547： 请帮我,改一下这篇短文改错,文章如下谢谢As a woman in England during World War ,I was pushing my baby brother in the park on the morning when I met ... - ？
脂居艾尔：[答案] As a woman in England during World War ,I was pushing my baby brother in the park on(in) the morning when I met a ... (the)otherside of the park,he stopped ＂I just got a good news that I'm a father,＂he said .＂And I want to see how it felt(feels).Thank ...

西乡塘区17019991547： 帮我把这篇英语短文改错改一下,谢谢了 - ？
脂居艾尔： 第二行 stay后加in,includes-including 第三行 the-a, informations-information 第四行 that-when, meet-met 第五行 totally-total 第六行 去掉it, going-goes 第七行 until-before

西乡塘区17019991547： 哪位大神帮我修改下这篇英语短文.. - ？
脂居艾尔： The final exam is coming soon. Have you begun to review all the subjects? For me, the most challenging thing is English because I did not work hard during the daily t...

西乡塘区17019991547： 麻烦谁来帮我修改下这篇短文 No pain No gainI encountered a terrible thing when I was 10 years and I never forgot it,because at that moment I was between life... - ？
脂居艾尔：[答案] 不劳无获 (这篇文章,可能要换种译法,未尝苦果,则无收获) 我10岁时,遇到了一件可怕的事情,因为那一刻我就在生... 只是它从来不让我知道.爸爸给了我生命,在我面临死亡时,他又救了我,在此我不想刻意感谢爸爸,因为在父母面前,每天...

西乡塘区17019991547： 谁可以帮我改一下这篇作文啊?改得好有分加,万分感激!The pie chart demonstrates the percentage of different countries' consumer outlay on various items ... - ？
脂居艾尔：[答案] The pie chart demonstrates the percentage of consumer spending on various items in different countries in 2002.As can be found from the graph,the citizens from these five countries spent most of their...

西乡塘区17019991547： 谁帮我改下这篇英语作文.谢谢. - ？
脂居艾尔： 额,典型的chaglish(中式英语),故事我看懂了,但语法上有一些错误,可能外教会有疑惑,把有语法错误的句子改下就可以了

西乡塘区17019991547： 修改作文请修改这篇作文,并指出其优缺点,谢谢! ？
脂居艾尔： 整体来看,文章的结构不错. 选材也很好,就是个部分的连接不够精密,感觉生硬,就像几个毫无关系的模板拼凑起来的. 如果要该,第一个片段要改的很多,把你不喜欢茶的原因写清楚,不要写别人不喜欢,所以你也不喜欢,这样太没有吸引力. 还要那茶 咖啡 水 做个比较,最后得出你喜欢水清淡等. 这样看来文章的结构就紧凑多了,而且更连贯,更有说服力.文章才有其连贯美. 好好想想,怎样使它完美.i belive you can make it!

西乡塘区17019991547： 麻烦帮我看看这篇英语短文,修改一下错误的地方This a photo of my family.He is my father.He is very hunmourous.That is my mother,and she is a teacher.She ... - ？
脂居艾尔：[答案] The old man is wearing glasses改为The elder man is wearing glasses. He had grizzled hair.改为He has grizzled hair. We are in the park had fine day! 改为We are in the park and have fine day! 要保持全文时态的一致

西乡塘区17019991547： 有哪位好心人士可以帮我修改这篇作文?备注:请帮我修改此文章.另外,请告诉我括号里的文字是留着好还是删去好?不胜感激!Leadership is a crucial role ... - ？
脂居艾尔：[答案] Leadership is(改成plays,play a role in) a crucial role in functioning and managing a certain group. Regardless of the type of the group(我觉得改为whatever type the group is更流畅点,呵呵,个人看法,你这...

西乡塘区17019991547： 哪位好心人帮我改一下这篇英语作文?谢谢 - ？
脂居艾尔： As we all know, mastering a foreign language is important, but not easy. To do so, you should do a lot of practice, just as the saying goes,＂ Practice makes perfect＂. For example, wherever you go, remember to carry a dictionary and a notebook ...