大学老师要让我们演一个英语短剧，5分钟左右，三个人演的，是幽默的最好。哪位大哥大姐有好的剧本，必有厚

我是大一学生，老师让我们组表演‘英语幽默短剧’10分钟左右，有10或11个角色的幽默短剧~

这个我们上学期用过，很好用的~~
暴笑+老师好评~~~




Performance @ College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版)

Characters:

Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台，内砸出一个纸筒，J被打中，狼狈不堪)
J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song. (拍门大叫)I'm not afraid of you! （内砸出一脸盆，J接着当成盾牌护着）Then,I'm afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. She's braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isn't! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!


Act One
(序幕结束时，JM作窃听状)
JM:(拄着拐棍上)I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L：（揸住锅铲，扎着围裙，从门内跳出来）I'm here!I'm cutting chicken. What's up mum?
JM: I've told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law".
L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy...
L: But...
JM:Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickens and...
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L:(生气挥动锅铲)Oh, you want a grandson, don't you?(开始脱围裙) Go and ask your son. I'm leaving!(扔下围裙，扔到JM脸上，下台)


Act Two
(LM坐在台上打毛线，L拿着锅铲上台)
L: Mum, I'm back.
LM: You're back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law.
LM(惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didn't listen to me. Look at yourself now!
L: But, mum...
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I'm not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And I'll marry whomever you want me to.
LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayor's Son in the market. He said,"If your daughter haven't been married, I really really want to marry her!" Now that you're free again, I'll go and tell him (下台).
L: (惊愣)What? The Mayor's Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中锅铲掉地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下台)


Act Three
(J 睡眼惺忪上台)
J: (边走边道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走几步，在地上捡起袜子) Here they are! (闻一下) ER...How smelly! They're still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! （肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来）Oh, I'm so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (捡起地上的围裙) This is Lunch's apron(围裙)! I miss her...EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM:(上台) Where's my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasn't she got up yet?
J：Mum, can't you remember? Lunch has gone!
JM: (沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back.
J: (立正敬礼)YES, MADAM!



ACT FORE
(J 开心地走着，忽然跳出三强盗)
A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一脚踩在一石头上)
B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石头)
C: If you want to go by this street...(欲踩石头，但踩到A的脚)
B：Give us...
A: All
C: your money!
J: （搜遍每一口袋，掏出一1角硬币）Is 1 mao enough?
(ABC晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken!
B: If we can't rob any money today, we'll have nothing to eat tonight.
C: I heard that the Mayor's Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob the wedding!
AB: Good idea!
J:(惊讶)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible!
A:Why?
B: A pretty girl and a rich man.
C: What a good couple!
J: But Lunch is my wife, we haven't got divorced yet.(突然有主意) I've got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, aren't you? I'll go with you. you take the money, and I take the bride.
B: Have you got any experience?
J: No, but I've got this!(J 脱下鞋子，从里面抹出一张支票，上书：$1,000,000,ABC见状跟着J下台，目光跟着钱)


Act Five
(转眼已到婚礼之期，MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上台，L盖着红盖头极不情愿的被拉上台)
（J A B C 跃至台中）
A: Hey you!
BCJ: Stop and listen to us!
A: The road is built by me.
B: And I planted one tree!
C: If you want to go by this street...
J: Give us all your money!
(L 听到J 的声音，掀起了盖头)
L: （惊喜万分）Johnny! (不顾一切地飞奔到J 的身后)
（MS大怒，挥拳向J 打来，J 矮身一躲，MS 打中J 身后的L , L晕倒）
J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (挥拳打向MS)
(J与 MS混战，JM悄悄上在MS后)
J: (指着MS后向MS讲)Hey, Pretty girl!
(MS向后一望，JM用拐杖将其打倒)
（J 将MS胸前的新郎标志撤下来，戴在自己的胸前）
J: (扶起L,关切地问)Honey, How are you?
L:(Crying...) Thurtalot!
J: Don't cry baby, I'll fetch some medicine for you (下台)
L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下台)

（音乐起：罗密欧与祝英台）

END...

老友记里找一段不就行了？
要不就找个大家都熟的搞笑电影里的对白来一段

英语笑话也可以演下。。。

Joke: How old am I?
A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look.

She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, "Sir, how old do you think I am?" The man replies, "You're 30, right?" She says "No, I'm 47, but nice try."

The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, "How old do you think I am?" The man replies, You're 37, right?" The lady says "No, I'm 47, but good guess."

After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies, "Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties." So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, "You're 47!"

The lady, astonished, asks, "How did you know?"

The old man replies, "I was standing right behind you at McDonald's."

下面网站上有很多http://www.english767.com/Article/joke/

Another day in paradise

Angel: A chief broadcaster.

Anny: A primary school girl who had called so much in order to look for her mother.

Anny’s father

Anny’s teacher

Anny’s classmates

Divide the stage into two parts.

On the left: Children’s ward, a chair, some flowers.

On the right: A desk, a chair, a lamp, some books.

(幕启，舞台左半亮，右半暗)

(The phone is ringing)

Old woman: Hello!

Anny（曲生地）: Hello, I, I want mum. Is that mum?

Old woman: Oh, I’m granny. I’m not mum.

Anny: I’m sorry.

（电话挂断声，拨号声又起）

A young woman: Hello!

Anny（曲生地）: Hello! I want mum. Is that mum?

Young woman: Are you joking? I’m not married.

（电话继续响，右半舞台亮）

Angel: Hello!

Anny（鼓起勇气）: I want mum. Is that mum?

Angel: Who’s that speaking?

Anny: I’m Anny, your Anny.

Angel: Anny？（充满疑惑）。（略为思索后，用母亲的声调）Where are you?

Anny（仿佛遇见母亲，忍不住哭起来）: Mum,（哭声，欲语泪先流，又猛然惊觉）Mum, mum, I’m not crying.

Angel（安慰地，担心地）: You are a nice little girl.

Anny: Mum, why don’t you come to see me? Dad says you will come back if I am well behaved. Mum, don’t you miss me?

Angel（慈爱地）: Of course, I do. I do miss you?

Anny: Really?

Angel: Yes. I miss you so much.

Anny: Mummy!

Angel: En…

Anny: Mummy!

Angel: Yes?

Anny（笑若银铃）

(Angel 慈爱地笑，心略有所安)

Anny(突然又哭了): But mummy, why don’t you come back? I’m ill.

Angel（关切地）: Anny, where are you? Tell me, where are you?

Anny: Mummy, I’m in hospital now. I felt pain, but I didn’t cry. Dad says the one who cries is not a good girl. Then you won’t come back. Mummy, can you come back to see me? I’m waiting for you with no tears.

Angel: Anny, I’m, I’m not… Oh, yes, mummy will come back to see you（Dad推门入，见Anny在打电话，连忙夺过）

Dad: I’ve told you not to call anybody else.

（对着电话）Sorry, I’m really sorry. The child has disturbed you.

Angel: Never mind. I’m a mother, too. I understand her. May I know the truth?

Dad: Eh…, her mum isn’t here. So she called and called.

Angel: Where’s Anny’s mother? You divorced?

Dad: No, no. I hope she would come back. But…

Angel: You don’t trust in me? I’m Angel, the chief broadcaster of the hot line.

Dad（回头看Anny）: Then, I’ll tell you the truth some other day.

Angel:All right.

(灯暗景换)

On the left: Anny’s sitting room.

On the right: Anny’s classroom.

（左右同时演绎）

Left:

Dad: Anny’s mum passed away in a tracffic accident six years ago. She told me to hide the truth. This is the letter for Anny.

Right:

Teacher: Children, in this class. Let’s enjoy Anny’s composition “A letter to mummy”.

(Angel, Anny同时，时空错接，音乐起)

Angel: Anny, my dearest baby!

Anny: Mummy, my dearest mummy!

Angel: When we played hide and seek, I was found easily.

Anny: When we played hide and seek, I could found you easily.

Angel: But this time, you can’t find me.

Anny: But this time, I can’t find you.

Angel: Baby, we have a date. When you are 14, you can find me.

Anny: Mummy, we have a date. Dad says when I am 14, I can find you.

Angel: Baby, the game lasts so long. I wonder if you have the courage to go on.

Anny: Mummy, don’t worry. I grow up with your arms around me in my dream.

Angel: Anny, if the time is so long, mummy will talk with you when you are looking at our photo.

Anny: Mum, the letter you left to me is so long. I read it every night, again and again.

Angel: Anny, your birthday present is on the wardrobe.

Anny: Mummy, I’ve known the truth. Every time I take a bus, I can see your dad eyes.

Angel: Anny, I’m really worried if you will be so sad after your 14th birthday. Is there anyone to love you all his life?

Anny: Mummy, I’ll never give up. I believe there is a call to the paradise. I will love Dad. I will love myself. I can fly with my own wings one day.

Angel: Anny, my dear.

Anny: Mummy, be safe all the way. There are no tears in paradise.

(灯亮，谢幕)这个应该可以

推荐《淘小子看世界》 kid gloves，详细的见站内信

你可以去沪江网上看看，有很多相关的资源。

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黄司冻干： 演月光宝盒那段.. 词随便翻译下` 我们就是随便翻译了下 也是刚好5个人` 期末口语就拿了将近满分

金山区14781907605： 我是大一学生,老师让我们组表演'英语幽默短剧'10分钟左右,有10或11个角色的幽默短剧 - ？
黄司冻干： 这个我们上学期用过,很好用的~~暴笑+老师好评~~~Performancenbsp;@nbsp;Collegenbsp;:nbsp;Storynbsp;ofnbsp;Johnnynbsp;andnbsp;Lunchnbsp;(孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版)nbsp;Characters:nbsp;nbsp;Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出...

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