求三人表演的英语搞笑短剧,3-5分钟左右的就可以了!

英语搞笑短剧 5分钟左右 急求~

这是我写的两人小剧.是反应基本的卫生习惯的问题.不知你是否喜欢?

人物: Alex 和 Bob
地点:学生宿舍

Flushing the Toilet冲厕所

A: Oh my god, what a stinky smell! Who didn't flush the toilet?
天啊,这么臭气熏天啊? 谁没冲厕所呀?
B: (reading a book silently)(静静地看书)
A: Bob, is that you again?
Bob, 又是你干的好事?
B: what? what about me?
什么? 我又怎么了?
A: You didn't flush the toilet.
你用了厕所没冲!
B: I did.
我冲了.
A: No. you didn't. The stinky smell is unbearable.
你没有! 这臭气熏天,简直无法忍受.
How could you sit here quietly and read your book as if nothing had happened?
你怎么还可以在这静静地看书,好象啥事都没有.?
B: I didn't smell anything.
我没觉得臭呀.
A: I am sure it's you. How could you not smell anything. Go flush the toilet now!
那一定是你干的. 怎么可能什么都闻不到? 快去冲厕所!
B: I remember I did flush it. (He went to the bathroom to flush the toilet.)
我记得我是冲了.(他走进厕所,冲洗马桶)
A: Don't you ever do that again. That's barbarian.
我警告你以后别再这样啊. 那是非常不文明的行为.
B: well, I'll try to remember. ( Bob is eating some cookies now.)
嗯,我尽量记住. ( Bob 拿起些饼干在吃)
A: Did you wash your hands after you flush the toilet?
你冲完厕所有没有洗手呀?
B: Do I have to?
要洗手吗?
A: Oh my god! I think I need to change the room right now..
天啊! 我还是换间寝室好了.

The end 剧终

A：（生气的）谁和你是同学？
C：我们是朋友。
B：（生气的）你心里还有我这个朋友吗？
C：我们互相帮助互相关心，是应该的。并不是所有的男女关系都只能存在着爱情，友情同样可以存在的。我是你们师姐，关心你们，帮助你们也是应该的。
A：怎么，你不是要和我发展那种关系？
B：你对我没意思啊？
[《祝你一路顺风》伴奏曲响起。
C：（深情的）你们都想到哪儿去了？我们快毕业了，明天我就要走了，我走了以后，我们还是好朋友，有空要多联系啊。来，你们过来。
[A 、B慢慢走过去。
C：（拿出一本书，给A）A，这本书是我送给你的，你曾经打算要买的。来，拿去吧，作个留念吧。
[A双手接过，低着头，抚摸着书面。
C：（拿出一支钢笔，对B）B，这钢笔送给你，你曾经向我借过，还夸它挺好写的。我知道你挺喜欢书法的，拿去多多练习啊。
[B双手接过，低着头。
[稍后电铃声响起。
C：师弟，我该走了，咱们再见了！（缓缓的走开）
A：（同时，深情地）师姐再见！
B：（见C走了几步）师姐，要记得我们啊。
C的画外音：会的。
A: Who (is angry) and you is schoolmate?
C: We are the friend.
B: (Is angry) in your heart also to have my this friend?
C: We help to care about mutually mutually, is should.Is not all sexual relations all only can have love, the friendship may exist similarly.I am your female apprentice, cares about you, helps you also is should.
A: How, aren't you must develop that kind of relations with me?
B: You do not have the meaning to me?
["Wishes Your Bon Voyage" the partner to play a tune resounds.
C: (Affection) you all thought where went? We have graduated quickly, I will have to walk tomorrow, I walked after, our good friend, had free time wants to relate.Comes, you come.
[A, B walk slowly.
C: (Puts out a book, for A) A, this book is I gives you, you once planned had to buy.Comes, to take away, makes to accept as a memento.
[A both hands received, lower the head, are stroking written.
C: (Puts out a fountain pen, to B) B, this fountain pen gave you, you has borrowed to me, but also very well praised it to write.I knew you very like the calligraphy, takes away very much practices.
[B both hands received, lower the head.
[Later the electric bell sound gets up.
C: The fellow, I should walk, we goodbye! (Slowly gets out of the way)
A: (At the same time, affectionately) female apprentice goodbye!
B: (Saw C to walk several steps) the female apprentice, had to remember us.
C offscreen voice: Meeting.

Three visits to the cottage
主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）
旁白：
Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐） is a story from one of the Four Great
classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main
characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. Now，let’s go into the story.
第一幕
屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，
诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线） 三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝） 刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙
A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）
刘：嗯？没点着
En? It dosen’t burn on.
张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟
Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom! 关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang! 张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了
Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much. 三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK.
张飞：No problem. 刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。 刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）
刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。
诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.
仆人：Heng!(哼) 仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。
仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好) 刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?

历史老照片不能说的秘密慈禧军阀明末清初文革晚清

刘备：（紧接着）Spanish?
关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.
关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.
张飞：(同样摆个pose，把关羽碰倒了)I’m Sorry. 刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。 猪不亮：你们怎么来的啊
What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course. 猪不亮：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台
第二幕
三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品
关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time.
张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）
What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat! 刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了 稍息。。。立正。。。（张飞关羽照做）
Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention! 刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应） You three! Be clever this time!
屋子中„„
（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了） 诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God!! Why do you punish me?!
猪不亮：老大别难过，班长杨超不也没过吗
Don’t be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination. 诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．
What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed··· （换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门） 猪不亮：谁啊
Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的
I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）
刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下
We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）
（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪） 张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语） I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.. 关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）
Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please. 猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。。。 （你见，或者不见我
It’s doesn’t matter if you see me or not 我就在那里
I am standing right there 不悲不喜
With no emotion 你念，或者不念我
It’s doesn’t matter if you miss me or not 情就在那里
The feeling is right there 不来不去
And it isn’t going anywhere 你爱或者不爱我
It’s doesn’t matter）
（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）
刘：What?！！
张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧
I’m afraid some-one important of him died here. Let’s go. Maybe we should come next time. 关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮
Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„ （关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。。）
第三幕
（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语） （诸葛亮又赢了） 猪不亮：老大你真NB You are the man !
诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作
Hum！That’s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.

猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？
What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语
En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English. 猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了
But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago. 门铃响。。 猪不亮：说来就来了
Speak of the devil and he doth appear. （三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动） 诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me!
刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧 Be calm. Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it! （出发。。）
诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少钱啊
Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will.. I get.. from you then. 张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走） It hurts feelings when it comes to money! （猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊） 猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路（小沈阳状）） Oh, Please take me away. 闭幕。。。。

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