求20篇英语小短文（初中水平，要有中文）

求20篇英语小短文带翻译 （要短—）~

Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公鸡
一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么？”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，公鸡逃离了狐狸的嘴巴，跑到了树底下。
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
【译文】
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些 . 报23—D
The English language is a result of the island o Britain over many hundreds of years .The invaders lived along the northern coast of Europe .
The first invasions were by a people called Angles about one thousand five hundred years ago . The Angles were a German tribe who crossed the English Channel.
Later two more groups crossed to Britain. They were the Saxons and the Jutes.
Through the years, the Saxons, Angles and Jutes mixed their different languages. Tehe result is what is called Anglo-Saxon or Old English.
The next great invasion of Britain came from the far north beginning about one thousand one hundred years ago. Fierce people called Vikings raided the coast areas of Britain.Many english words used today come from these ancient Vikings.
Words like “Sky,” “leg” “skull” “egg” “crawl” “lift”and “take” are from the old languages of the far northern countries.
The next invasion of Britain took place more than nine hundred years ago, in ten sixty-six .History experts call this invasion the Norman Conpuest. William the Comqueror led it. The Normans were a French-speaking people from Normandy in the north of france. They became the new rulers of Britain. These new rulers spoke only French for several hundred years. It was the most important language in the world at that time. Ti was the language of educated people . But the common people of Britain still spoke Old English.
Old English took many words from the Norman Frech. Some of these include “damage” “prison”and “marrige”.The french language used by the Norman rulers greatly changed the way English was spoken by eight hundred years ago. Enlish became what language experts call Middle English Middle English.Middle English sounds like modern English. But it is very diffcult to understand now .The history of the English language continues as Middle English becomes Modern English, which is spoken today. 这绝对是短文……
译文：
英语是不列颠数百年历史的产物。入侵不列颠的人原本居住在欧洲北海岸。
最初的侵略者是盎格鲁人。他们在约1500年前入侵不列颠。盎格鲁人是一个穿越了英吉利海峡的部族。
后来，又有两个部族跨海而来。这两个部族是撒克逊和朱特人。
这些年来。撒克逊人、盎格鲁人、朱特人通过日常交流，将这几种不同的语言混合了起来。混合的产物就是被称作盎格鲁-撒克逊，或者古英语的语言。
下一次对于不列颠的大型入侵是在约1100年前，来自遥远的北部。凶残的维京人袭击了不列颠的沿海地域。许多现代英语的词汇都是来自古维京语。
“Sky,” “leg” “skull” “egg” “crawl” “lift”以及“take”等词汇来自北欧的其他国家。
再下一次对不列颠的侵略，发生在约900年前，在16至17世纪。这次侵略被历史学家命名为the Norman Conquest（诺曼征服）。
威廉领导了这次侵略。诺曼人从法国北部的诺曼底来到不列颠，他们是一个讲法语的民族。他们成为了不列颠的新领袖。
这些新的领导者们，在过去的几百年里都只讲法语——在那时，这是全世界最重要的一门语言，是被受教育者广泛运用的语言。但，在不列颠的平民百姓们仍然在使用古英语。
于是古英语里融合进了法语里的许多词汇，比如“damage” “prison”和 “marrige”。于是，诺曼统治者们所运用的语言——法语，在800年前极大地改变了英语。
英语成为了语言专家们所谓的 Middle English（中古英语）。这语言听起来很像现代英语，但如今已很难理解了。英语的历史持续到Middle English（中古英语）变成现代英语的今天。如今英语在世界范围内被广泛使用。

I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表现得象位女士

一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。

“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”

“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”

真得很抱歉～我也很无语，因为你要的20篇根本就输入不了那么多字！我是在百度上输入“英语作文”第一个就是，里面有很多作文，有的有汉英，有的只是英语，你可以找找
或者你上百度搜“大耳朵英语”那个英语学习网站是免费的而且有很多英语资料，很实用，假期你没事了可以去试试。我也在用，名字一样VOvooY
祝你新春快乐～，学习进步

1，The Earth——Our Mother
Pcople often say that the earth is like our mother. She gives life to all the living things on the earth and provides us with air, food, water and other essential things we need for living.
Once she was beautifhl and rich, but now she becomes dirtier and dirtier, poorer and poorer. It is due to what we have done to her. Please have a good look at her: polluted rivers and lakes, growing deserts, the destruction of the forests and wild life, and the depletion of the ozone layer…
Can she bear to see her children putting the waste here and there? Can she bear too see her children cutting down the trees and destroying the grassland, to see the acid rain destroying everything? Can we bear to see our mother suffering so much? Isn' it time for us to ask ourselves whether this is the way to treat our mother?
Floods, draughts, acid rain…,these are the punishments from nature. Everyone should know that there is only one earth, lfwe go on treating her like this, it won' t be fit for us to live in any longer. It' s time for us to love her, take good care of her and cure her. We should save the earth so as to save ourselves.
地球——我们的母亲
人们经常说地球就像我们的母亲。她给了地球上所有生物生命，给我们提供生活所必需的空气、食物、水和一切基本的需要。
曾经她美丽富饶，而现在她变得越来越脏，越来越贫脊，那都是我们造成的。请好好看一看她：受污染的江河湖海、扩张的沙漠、森林和野生生物的毁灭、臭氧层的耗尽……
她能忍受她的孩子到处乱扔废弃物吗?她能忍受她的孩子砍伐树木、毁坏草原，让酸雨毁灭一切吗?我们能忍受她遭受这样的痛苦吗?我们该问问我们自己，这就是我们对待母亲的方式吗?
洪水、干旱、酸雨……这些都是自然对我们的惩罚。每个人都应该清楚人类只有一个地球。如果我们继续这样对待她，她将不再适合我们居住了。是该我们好好爱她、照顾她、治疗她的时候了。我们应该拯救地球，以便拯救我们自己。

2.My favourite teacher is Miss Huang. She is a beautiful lady. She has two big eyes, a high nose and a little red mouth. There is always a smile on her face.
Miss Huang likes singing and collecting posters. She is good at playing the piano. In the evening, she always sits in front of the piano and plays nice music. She is good at dancing, too. Sometimes she teaches us dancing.
Miss Huang likes dogs very much because the dog is very friendly and cute. Her favourite color is blue. Because blue is the color of the sky and the sea.
This is my favourite teacher. Our classmates all like her very much.
我最喜欢的老师是黄老师。她是一位漂亮的女性。她有两只大大的眼睛，一个高高的鼻子和一张小小的红唇。她的脸上总带着笑容。
黄老师喜欢唱歌和收集海报。她钢琴弹得很好。晚上，她常常坐在钢琴前弹奏优美的乐曲。黄老师跳舞也很棒。有时她也会教我们跳舞。
黄老师非常喜欢狗，因为狗很友好也很可爱。黄老师最喜欢的颜色是蓝色，因为蓝色是天空和海的颜色。
这就是我喜欢的老师。我们班的同学都非常喜欢她。

3A Letter to Haiqing
Dear Haiqing,
I am very sorry to learn that you are unhappy now. But I don' t think you should be unhappy.
I know that your iamily is not rich. So your parents can' t afford to buy you something of famous brands, which makes you unhappy. But they have sent you to school so that you can receive good education and have abreght future. This is not easy for your parents. So you should think about your parents. Don't ask for something that is out of your parents' reach. Don' t be vain-glorious.
I also thind you should put your heart into study. Read more books and then you can get a lot from reading. Without the famous brand competition you will become happy.
I hope I can help you out of unhappiness. Wish you happy.
Yours,
Huang Ping
给海青的一封信
亲爱的海青：
我知道你现在闷闷不乐，感到很难过。但是，我并不认为你应该如此。
我知道你的家庭不富裕，所以你父母买不起名牌给你，这使你不高兴。但是他们送你来学校读书，使你能够接受良好的教育并有一个光明的未来，这对你的父母来说并不容易。你应当考虑一下你的父母。不要要求得到超出你父母能力范围的东西，不要爱慕虚荣。
我也认为你应该将精力投入到学习中去。读更多的书，你能从中学到很多。没有名牌的攀比，我想你会变得快乐。
希望能帮助消除不快。祝你快乐。
你的朋友 黄平

4Pollution: a Social Problem
When we read newspapers, we often come across the word pollution. This word was not familiar to the people some decades ago. But now, it is a serious threat to us because.it means the poisoning of the air, seas, rivers and lands, which would do harm to our health.
There are many factories that bring pollution to us. We can not have fresh air in the morning. This is mainly because of the poisonous smoke coming from factories, especially chemical ones. In rivers, seas and oceans, there are industrial wastes. Some factories just throw their wastes into seas or let them flow into rivers. When people drink the water from such rivers, they get poisoned. Besides, there is rubbish from ships and when sometimes an accident occurs in an ocean, oil flows out from tankers.
On land, the accumulation of rubbish in the streets may dirty the city and ruin our health. This is mainly due to the improper disposal of rubbish by people.
If we do mot fight against pollution, surely one day all of us will be killed. Some people like to put the blame on the industrial revolutions. On the contrary, the pollution problem will be solved only with the help of modem science and technology.
污染——一个社会问题
我们看报的时候，经常会看到“污染”这个词。这个词对于几十年前的人来说并不熟悉。然而对于我们来说，它是一个严重的威胁，因为它意味着危害空气、海洋、河流和土地，进而对我们造成伤害。
有很多工厂给我们带来了污染。早上我们呼吸不到新鲜的空气。这主要是因为这些工厂里排放出有毒的气体，尤其是化工厂。在江河湖海里到处都有工业垃圾。一些工厂把废弃物排放到江河和海洋里。人们喝了这里面的水就会中毒。除此之外，还有从船上扔下来的垃圾和海洋里发生事故的船只流出来的油。
在陆地上，街道上乱扔的垃圾不仅影响市容，还危害我们的健康。这主要是因为人们对垃圾的不正确的处理。
我们如果不对污染采取措施，总有一天我们会被杀死的。有些人总爱把这归咎于工业革命。相反，污染问题还必须靠现代科学和技术来解决。

5Traditional Teaching Method
Do your teachers still use traditional techniques to teach you nowadays? A revol- ution in teaching techniques is required now. In the past, we just took it for granted that a teacher' s aim was to teach the students all that he knew and solve all the problems for them. Therefore, students could mot judge things on their own under this circumstance. Thus students gradually lost the ability to learn by themselves. In addition, they were only equipped with the knowledge that were taught in class and made the same judgement upon every problem which might crop up. Of course, they would find their knowledge not enough to solve practical problems.
So it is time to change the teaching method. A teacher' s goal is to help the students develop not only the ability to learn by themselves but the skills to make judgements on every aspect on their own. It' s not necessary for the students to turn to teachers for help while meeting with difficulties. The first thing is to develop the students' abilities to make sound judgements upon any problem and overcome difficulties.
All in all, the aim of teaching is to liberate, but mot to fetter the students' innate powers of making sound judgements.
传统教育方式
你的老师还在用传统方法授课吗?现在教育方式的改革需要进行。过去，老师把他所有的知识教给学生，并帮学生解决他们所有的难题，这似乎是理所当然的。因此，在这种情况下，学生不能自我判断，也慢慢失去自学能力。另外，他们只能学到课堂上的东西，面对任一突发事件都会作出同样的判断。当然，他 们业余感到所学知识不足以解决实际问题。
因此，是到了改变教育目标的时候了。老师的目的不光是帮助学生培养自学能力，还应教给他们独立判断的方法。学生一旦面临难题就请教老师是不必要的。重要的是让学生具有独立判断并能克服困难的能力。
总而言之，教育目标是解放而不是限制学生判断事物的内在能力。
6，How to study English?
Study English,You do need to use English with speakers who are not teachers of English. This isn’t easy, since everyone feels constrained speaking English with friends with whom it would be natural to use a shared mother tongue. Joining an English Club is a good idea and joining a club with an international membership (where English is in use at least some of the time) is, for many people, even better. If nothing like this is accessible, you might consider what would be involved in getting something going.
活用英文乐趣多 活用英文乐趣多
你需要常常和英语教师以外的人士用英语交谈。这当然很不容易，因为与母语相同的人自由交谈时，彼此若用英语交谈总会觉得很不自在。亦可参加英语俱乐部或国际会员的俱乐部（至少有时使用英语沟通），这样对很多人而言更有益。如果没有合适的社团可加入，也不妨考虑任何足以提高英语能力的机会。

1。Today i and friends of foreign travel, outside air is very good, people feel very comfortable. We all appreciate the fine girls bicycles. We enjoyed the beautiful nature brought. We happily spent a happy day. 今天和朋友一起出外交游，外面的空气很好，人感觉很舒服。我们骑着自行车一路欣赏鸟语花香。享受着大自然带给我们的无限美好。大家开开心心地度过了愉快的一天。

2。Today Mailehaoduo clothes, and parents take to the streets is happy, the parents have to pay to buy things. Unlike in their street to buy things they like to take a long time but saw the price, Ha-ha, is really very happy. I love my parents, I too thank them for the care and love. `` 今天买了好多衣服，和父母上街就是愉快，买东西有父母帮付钱。不像平时自己上街买东西碰到喜欢的但看了价钱都要考虑好久，呵呵，真的是很开心。我爱我的父母，太感谢他们对我的关心和爱戴了。
3.Flute " Robinson Crusoe " of good fortune, novelist of British, describe protagonist drift about on the island, overcome the difficulty, the legend story of pioneering an enterprise with painstaking efforts. Novel write true naturally, legendary. The protagonist plants the crops on the detached island, puts up the log cabin, has eaten the innumerable trials and tribulations, survive. Want, go back human world anxious, want to go how about go out of these damnable place only like make him to be fascinated, result fail, get back to, long separated for Britain for 28 year give me enlightenment by " Robinson's records of adventure " on 1868 year finally, tanacity of him let me wait for a chance to cause trouble, want, march toward another goal for life, look like Robinson like that spend one's own strength,reach ideal realm one's own. We need possess Robinson so spirit of struggle diligently.
英国小说家笛福的《鲁滨逊漂流记》描述了主人公漂流海岛,战胜困难,艰苦创业的传奇故事. 小说写得真实自然,富有传奇色彩.主人公在孤岛上种庄稼,搭木屋,吃了千辛万苦,生存下来.但想回人间的心切,使他着迷般地只想到如何走出这个鬼地方,结果还是失败了,最后于1868年回到阔别28年的英国
《鲁滨孙漂流记》给我以启示，他的顽强让我蠢蠢欲动，想要迈向人生的另一目标，像鲁滨孙那样用自己的力量，到达自己理想的境界。
我们需要具备鲁滨逊那样的刻苦奋斗的精神.
The World's Greatest Swordsman

At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

世界上最伟大的击剑手

在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。

他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。

“你为什么这么高兴？”有人嚷道，“你没击中!”

“啊，”剑手答道，“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”
—————————————————————————————————————————
A Mistake

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞错了

一位美国人，一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元，”他说，“我将把你们送回人间，就象什么都没有发生过一样。”

“成交!”美国人说。立刻，他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。

“其他人在哪儿？”一名医生问道。

“我离开之前，”那名美国人说，“我看见英格兰人正在砍价，而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”
————————————————————————————————————————
Pig or Witch

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

猪还是女巫

一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪！！”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫！！”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
—————————————————————————————————————————
Response Ability

An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

答问技巧

衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时，牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”

当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时，他答道：“当然不会。毕竟，我可能会是错的。”

一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅？”
获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”
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Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

伟大的猎手Jonesie

有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

“Jonesie，怎么了？狮子在哪？”村长问。

“哪有狮子！”猎人怒吼道，“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了？”
————————————————————————————————————————
Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

天气预报

一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.

几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.

最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"

印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."
——————————————————————————————————————————
I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表现得象位女士

一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。

“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”

“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”

1.A young business man had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

一个年轻人刚开始做生意，租了一间漂亮的办公室。坐在办公室，他看见一个人从外面走进办公室。装着很忙的样子，他拿起话筒，假装正在跟人谈一笔很大的生意。他从嘴里说出的，都是数目很大的数字，还有口气很大的许诺。

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."

最后，他挂上电话，问来访者:“您有什么事吗？”来访者说:“哦，我是来装电话的。”

2.Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

And Julie replied, "Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!"

朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”

妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”

朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”

3.The Swimmer

The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.

Johnny laughed.

"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.

"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."

游泳者

老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。

约翰尼笑了。

老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么？”

约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”

4.It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.

As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

一天，一个商店降价大甩卖。人们在开店之前就排在了商店门前，排成了很长的一队。一个身材矮小的人推挤着想到队伍的前面，但被推了回来，而且被咒骂着插队。那个人又一次努力往前挤， 但是又被挤到了最后面，而且下巴被重重的碰了几下，他对最后一个人说：“如果他们再次这样对我，我就不去开商店门了！！！”

5.Goldfish

Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold them!

斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。

弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？

斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？

斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！

到百度找，百度里有很多，直接打关键字就可以了

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