谁能提供一个两人的英语搞笑小短剧的剧本吗？

有没有谁能提供搞笑的英语话剧剧本?~

　　题目：唐伯虎点秋香
　　剧情：

　　三花痴在街上游走。

　　花痴一说：it is so boring !

　　花痴2：yes, it is !

　　花痴3：we have nothing to do !

　　花痴1：look, the four are there!

　　四大才子出场

　　花痴2：！it is them !it is them!it is really them!

　　花痴3：how handsome they are !how charming they are !I am dizzying!

　　尖叫！四大才子秀舞。

　　祝枝山：I am the most handsome man in the world,and I have as much money as mouation!

　　文征明：I am so attractive that each girl will fall in love with me at the first sight!(抛媚眼) 尖叫声不断

　　徐峥卿：I am so charming that no one can compare with me !

　　唐伯虎： Do you love me ? have you heard my name before? Tangbo hu is me !（尖叫 。。。。。）

　　文征明： Hi ,guy !today all of us are in a good mood!

　　how about trying some English tounge twist!
　　祝枝山： Good idea ! brother wen ,you first please!
　　绕口令

　　Peter pepper picked up a peck of pickled peppers

　　Did peter pepper pick up a peck of pickled peppers

　　If peter picked up a peck of pickled peppers

　　Where is the peck of pickled peppers peter pepper picked up!（乱成一团）
　　唐伯虎：haha （突然大笑）
　　三人： Is that so funny ?
　　文征明： Why do you so happy today ,bohu !
　　唐伯虎：Because madam hua have promised me to marry qiu xiang .(做可爱状) Ha Ha. However ,I will try my best to get her .

　　祝枝山：since you have made up you mind, we will use our wisdom to help you !
　　四人信心满满一起 去了华府。

　　华文挡在前说：,stop! If you can give me the answer to my question ,I will let you go!

　　祝枝山：haha ,you are scaring us ,we fear nothing !come on come on!

　　华虎 ：listen carefully! There are three gecko on the wall, a gecko accidentally fell down, why then the other two gecko also drop off?

　　三大才子狂翻书道：why ,why ?(三才子狂翻书，疑惑不解 大叫)

　　唐笑了笑说：Because the back two gecko has won the applause they fell down

　　三大才子大笑： ha ha ,go away!

　　华府内

　　秋象正在绣闺里打扮，自言自语道：oh ,bo hu my honey ,why don”t you come and marry me yet! I love you so much ! I wanna be with you !you are my mr right!

　　唐伯虎到了内厅：

　　秋香到：oh ,dear ,you are here now ,I am so happy ! I can marry you now !

　　华夫人：Tang Bohu, although I promised you to marry Qiu-xiang , but there are conditions,can you pick out qiuxiang from the 3three brides! （婚礼大堂，3新娘盖着红盖头）
　　华文：(please refer to the list of rules)the period of the game is that of the burnout of a stick of incense.
　　一、do not cross the yellow line to watch over the bride-to-be while playing the game。二、all the brides-to-be should keep quiet,or you will be pass.
　　三、no help is allowed to touch the clothes or the body of the bride-to-be.
　　华夫人：if you can not pick out qiuxiang ,you lose .one of my two sons will marry to qiuxiang !

　　唐伯虎：wa ! ,why there are so many brides here!唐伯虎： Madam ,you wanna play game with me ,right?
　　华夫人： Why do you say like that ?
　　唐伯虎： as a gentleman, for the sake of my conscience,i've been devoted to Qiuxiang ever since,and i will never regret it! how come you have baffled me time and time again?唐伯虎I will take qiuxiang away,who can stop me !
　　华夫人：Try it !if you wanna make troubles here ,I will tell empor to kill your whole family!
　　唐伯虎： You old witch ,coldblood!mean !despicable and shameless!
　　华夫人：You called me a witch? ! Die!（扔东西）
　　唐伯虎：I returned it to you!（扔回去）
　　华夫人： OUCH , I can not spare you !
　　唐伯虎： Come on ,come on !
　　华太师：Stop! Qiuxiang is a member of our family!if you wanna marry her ,you should follow our rules唐伯虎： Ok ,I will try my best!i won not give up until I marry to qiuxiang !

　　唐伯虎： you are out of line ,I wanna kill you !
　　华夫人；That stick of incense has been put out quickly,
　　唐伯虎深情款款的念诗：The furthest distance in the world

　　Is not when I stand in front of you

　　Yet you can't see my love

　　But when undoubtedly knowing the love from both

　　Yet cannot be together （一准新娘身子动了动）
　　华文： Times up!

　　唐伯虎：oh ,I see, ,qiuxiang（掀开准新娘的面具，竟然是石榴姐！）
　　唐伯虎： oh ,my god !what are you doing ,do you have a knife !
　　石榴姐： What is up ?
　　唐伯虎： I wanna kill myself!
　　唐伯虎：Let me die ,let me die ….

　　唐伯虎被误刺了一刀

　　秋香：what is wrong with you ,bohu ?(怒对华府人)you kill him ,I hate you !go out !go out!怀里抱着伯虎：Being with you is like walking on a very clear morning. Take away love, and my life is a tomb. Our Love never dies.I need you just like I need the air to breathe.i can not live without you ! I will follow you (拔出刀欲自杀发现刀是 可收缩的)

　　唐伯虎：oh, I still alive ,we can be together now !

　　两人相拥跳舞！谢场！

英语阅读书籍里有

A Soldier's Brilliant Idea

Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.

When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.

Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.

英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招

由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。

然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。

又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。

2、1、 I have said it a hundred times, we need team work，always seek the best in others. The purpose of this trip , is to train our team in a real situation and to test our new members . Those deserving special praise are the little leaf and four eyes. Although new to the trade, they try hard, they have not only surpass themselves, but even the old guard here。

“说了多少回了,要团结，眼睛要看这别人的长处。这次出来，一是通过实战锻炼队伍,二是考察新人,在这里我特别要表扬的是小叶和四眼。两位虽然刚刚入道，做人啊， 不但突破了自己， 也超越了在座的前辈。

2、This century most expensive commodity is talent.

“21世纪什么最贵？人才！！！

3、An organization without discipline.

“有组织，无纪律。”

4、First my gaze toward the moon, but the moon shines on the ditch.

“我本一心向明月，奈何明月照沟渠”

Who knows me understand my needs, I’m a mystery to he who know me not .

“真是知我者谓我心忧，不知我者谓我何求啊”

5、I can’t stand you armed robber types, no technical skills what so ever.

“我最讨厌你们这些劫匪了，一点技术含量都没有。”

6、I can reliably inform you that, uncle lee is very angry. The consequences will be severe。

“我可以很负责地告诉你，黎叔很生气，后果很严重。。。”

7、I was reckless, I was reckless,never thought that girl would play me。

“大意呀，大意呀，想不到被一丫头片子玩儿了。”

Father's Things

When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.

Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.

One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.

Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"

"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.

"And that shirt's mine too."

"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.

"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.

"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"

父亲的东西

汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。

霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。

一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。

然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”

汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”

“还有那衬衫也是我的。”

“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。

“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。

“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”

---

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