2分钟幽默小短文
As food is to the body, so is learning to the mind. Our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food. Likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and expand our intellectual capacity. Constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment. Learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of uncertainty.
Once learning stops, vegetation sets in. It is a common fallacy to regard school as the only workshop for the acquisition of knowledge. On the contrary, learning should be a never-ending process, from the cradle to the grave. With the world ever changing so fast, the cease from learning for just a few days will make a person lag behind. What's worse, the animalistic instinct dormant deep in our subconsciousness will come to life, weakening our will to pursue our noble ideal, sapping our determination to sweep away obstacles to our success and strangling our desire for the refinement of our character. Lack of learning will inevitably lead to the stagnation of the mind, or even worse, its fossilization, Therefore, to stay mentally young, we have to take learning as a lifelong career.
学习之于心灵,就像食物之于身体一样。摄取了适量的营养食物,我们的身体得以生长而肌肉得以发达。同样地,我们应该日复一日不断地学习以保持我们敏锐的心智能力,并扩充我们的智力容量。不断的学习提供我们用不尽的燃料,来驱使我们磨利我们的推理、分析和判断的能力。持续的学习是在信息时代中跟时代并驾齐驱的最稳当的方法,也是在变动的世代中成功的可靠保证。
一旦学习停止,单调贫乏的生活就开始了。视学校为汲取知识的唯一场所是种常见的谬误。相反地,学习应该是一种无终止的历程,从生到死。由于世界一直快速地在变动,只要学习停顿数日就将使人落后。更糟的是,蛰伏在我们潜意识深处的兽性本能就会复活,削弱我们追求高贵理想的意志,弱化我们扫除成功障碍的决心,而且扼杀我们净化我们人格的欲望。缺少学习将不可避免地导致心灵的停滞,甚至更糟地,使其僵化。因此,为了保持心理年轻,我们必须将学习当作一生的事业。
2.heavy schoolwork【课业繁重】
In my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy. While it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults. High should be allowed more time for play. Playing is not wasting time, as some think. It gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination. Which tends to be stifled by too much study. Finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally. I do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork. I do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole.
我认为目前高中生的课业实在太重了,虽然说学生的确应当念书,但是要想长大成为健全的人,他门还需要一些其它的东西,所以应该给高中生较多从事娱乐的时间。娱乐并不如某些人所想的,是在浪费时间,它可以让学生锻炼身体,发挥被繁重课业扼杀的想象力。此外,繁重的课业加诸在高中生身上的压力可能引起严重的情绪紧张,这对身心都有害。我并非主张废除学校课业,但是我认为减轻目前繁重的课业对于学生和整个社会都是有益的。
3.Time【时间】
Lost time is never found again. This is something which I learned very clearly last semester. I spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer. I finally realized that something had to be done. It was time for a change.
Now I have a new plan for using my time wisely. I have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour. This will give me a head start on the day. I have also decided to keep a log of what I do and when I do it. Looking back on what I’ve done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time.
时光一去不复返,这是我上学期清楚学到的教训。我浪费很多时间四处游荡,以致于我的成绩开始退步。最后我终于了解到我必须有所作为;该是痛改前非的时候了。
现在我有一个明智运用时间的新方法。我已将闹钟早拨半小时,这将使我这一天的作息提前开始。我也决定将我所做的一切及做这些事的时间记录下来。回顾我所做的事情会启发我如何重新安排我的时间。
4.Work and Play【工作与娱乐】
Work and play do not contradict each other; in fact, they complement each other. As the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." A life burdened with work leads you nowhere, for you would get tired and bored with your daily routine work. On the other hand, proper recreation will relieve the tension and discomfort of our monotonous life because it offers you various ways to let out your pent-up emotions.
What I usually do to relax after school is jogging and seeing movies. Usually I don't spare time for exercise, but I value the physical education class at school. Jogging several rounds in the field certainly relieves the day's pressure. On weekends, I'll catch the morning movie for my visual enjoyment. I feel revived and energetic for another week's work-load.
工作与娱乐并不互相冲突,事实上,它们之间的关系还相辅相成。有句格言说:「整日工作而没有休闲娱乐,会令人变得沉闷乏味。」被工作重担压得喘不过气来的生活,将使你一事无成,因为你将对一成不变的例行公事感到厌烦。由另一方面来说,适度的娱乐活动能提供各种管道,来渲泄你被压抑的情绪,减轻单调生活中的紧张与不悦。
放学之后,我最常做的休闲活动,便是慢跑与看电影。通常我并不特地拨出时间来做运动,但是我很重视学校的体育课。在操场上慢跑几圈,无疑地可以减轻一天的压力。在周末时,我都去看早场电影,享受视觉飨宴。如此一来,我将有如再生般的充沛活力,去面对下一星期的工作量。
5.My first Job【我的第一份工作】
My first job was at a cramming school. It was three years ago when I just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination. since I had nothing to do that summer, I decided to find a job, tasting the joy of independence.
I was responsible for answering the telephone and taking the message. I worked eight hours a day, six days a week. The work was not difficult nor heavy to me and I guess I did well. The most delighted thing was perhaps that I could spend the money I earned all by myself.
我的第一份工作是在一家补习班做事。那是三年前我刚从国中毕业,考完联考时的事了。既然我那整个夏天都闲着没事,倒不如找份差事,尝尝独立赚钱的快乐。
我负责接听电话且纪录留言的工作。我一天工作八小时,一星期工作六天。那份工作对我而言既不困难亦不沉重,所以我想我还满称职的。而最令人快乐的事大概莫过于花全部由自己赚来的钱了!
6.My Favorite Sports【我最喜爱的运动】
Sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, and efficient. So I pay special attention to games, especially table-tennis. Table tennis is my favorite game. I play it almost every day.
Table-tennis is an ideal game us because it brings the whole body into action. It strengthens our muscles, expands our lungs, promotes the circulation of the blood, and causes a healthy action of the skin. Besides, it is very amusing and does not cost us much money. Table-tennis is very moderate; it is not so rough as football. It is an indoor game and can be played even on rainy days. Thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise.
运动能帮助每一个人保持健康、快乐和有效率。所以我特别重视运动,特别是桌球,桌球是我最喜欢的运动。我几乎每天玩。
桌球对我们而言,是一项理想的运动,因为它可以使我们全身运动,它可以增强我们的肌肉,扩张我们的肺部,促进血液循环,并且使肌肤产生健康作用,此外,它很有趣而且所费不多。桌球是相当温和适中的,它不像足球那么粗野。它是一种室内运动,甚至在下雨天也能玩。因此,桌球是我最喜爱的一种运动。
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
鲨鱼的弱点
鲨鱼的攻击性极强,只要被鲨鱼发现,很少有人能够逃生。不过,奇怪的是,海洋生物学家罗福特对鲨鱼研究了多年,经常穿着潜水衣游到鲨鱼的身边,与鲨鱼近距离接触,可鲨鱼好像并不介意他的存在。罗福特介绍说:“鲨鱼其实并不可怕。可怕的是你一见到鲨鱼,自己就先害怕了。”
是的,的确如此。只要你见到鲨鱼时,心里不害怕,那么你就很安全。人在遇到鲨鱼时,心跳就会加速,正是那快速跳动的心脏引起了鲨鱼的注意。鲨鱼就是从那快速跳动的心脏在水中的感应波发现猎物的。如果在鲨鱼面前,你能够心情坦然,毫不惊慌,那么鲨鱼对你就不构成任何威胁,哪怕它不小心触到了你的身体,也不会实施任何侵犯,马上又从你的身边游走去寻找它的猎物去了。反之,如果你一见到鲨鱼就吓得浑身发抖,尖声惊叫,心跳加速,然后只想快点逃命,那么你注定会成为鲨鱼的一顿美餐。
看似凶险的东西,只要心情坦然地面对,有条有理地处理,其实最终都可以解决。有时,困住我们的只是我们自己。
窗
有个太太多年来不断抱怨对面的太太很懒惰,“那个女人的衣服永远洗不干净,看,她晾在外院子里的衣服,总是有斑点,我真的不知道,她怎么连洗衣服都洗成那个样子
直到有一天,有个明察秋毫的朋友到她家,才发现不是对面的太太衣服洗不干净。细心的朋友拿了一块抹布,把这个太太的窗户上的灰渍抹掉,说:“看,这不就干净了吗?”
原来,是自己家的窗户脏了。
二、老大、老二乘坐飞机,老二晕机,不停呕吐。一袋吐满,老大只好去取袋子,等他回来时,发觉全机人都在不停呕吐。老大问其原因,老二说:“我看到这只袋子也吐满了,只好又喝进去了半袋,结果他们就全吐了。”
三、有个人去带著朋友去探望他的外婆。当他和外婆说话时,他的朋友开始吃著咖啡桌上放的花生,把花生都吃完了。当他们离开时,他的朋友对外婆说:「谢谢您的花生」外婆回应说:「喔!嗯!唉!自从我牙齿掉光后,我就只能吸掉它们外层的巧克力而已。老了,咳。。。
四、有个富豪找佣人,面试的题目是上厕所,前几个上完后都没有洗手就出来了,富豪因此把他们打发走了,只有一个洗了手,于是富豪留下了他. 可是有一天,富豪却发现他没有洗手就出来了,富豪问他是为什么?佣人答到:“偶今天带了手纸...”
五、这天,酒店老板正在大厅巡视。来了一乞丐上前说道:“老板给个牙签行吗?”老板给他一个打发走了。一会儿,又来一个乞丐,也是来要牙签的。老板心想现在这乞丐怎么不要饭改要牙签了?也同样给他一个打发走了,没过多旧,又来一个乞丐。老板对他说:“你也是来要牙签的吗?”乞丐说:“有个人吐了,可我晚了一步,已经被前面两个乞丐把能吃的都吃了,现在只剩下汤了。你能给我个吸管吗?
六、老大和老二去戏院看戏,看到中途二人为情节发展而争执起来,并为此打赌。老大指着前边摆的一排痰盂说:“输的人要喝一口那里边的东西。”不幸,老大输了,于是老大皱着眉头喝了一口。二人接着赌下边的情节,这次,老二输了。只见老二抱起一个痰盂,咕咚咕咚连喝了十五大口。老大大惊失色,佩服的五体投地,对老二说“你太了不起了,居然能连喝十五大口!”老二摇摇头,“不是我想喝,那个痰盂里的痰太浓,我实在咬不断!”
七、一个男子看见一家商店大减价,便走了进去。“您买些什么?”“我想买狗食。”我们有规定,您必须证明您有狗。”“哪儿有这样的规定?”“减价商品就是这样。”男子与售货员磨了半天,售货员还是不同意卖给他。没有办法,男子只好回家把狗带来,才买到了狗食。过了几天,男子又去这家商店买猫食。“给我两盒猫食。”“我们有规定,您必须证您有猫。”还是那个售货员,男子又与她磨蹭了半天,结果还是不得不回家把猫带来才买到了猫食。又过了几天,男子抱着挖有一个洞的大纸箱来到那家商店,找到那个售货员。“您买些什么?”“你把手伸进去就知道。”售货员把手伸了进去:“是什么呀,粘乎乎的。”“我想买两卷儿手纸。”
八、有人很喜欢“麻辣粉丝煲”这道菜。有一次,他上饭馆,又点了这道菜。但侍者告诉他,这道菜已经卖完了。“真的卖完了吗?”他很失望地问。“先生,真的卖完了。你瞧,最后一份卖给那桌的先生了。”侍者回答道。那人顺着侍者的指点,看见有个很体面的绅士坐在邻座。绅士的饭菜已经吃得差不多了,但那份“麻辣粉丝煲”居然还是满满的。那人觉得绅士很浪费美味,所以他走到绅士旁边,指着那份“麻辣粉丝煲”,很有礼貌地问:“先生,您这还要吗?”绅士很有风度地摇摇头。于是那人立刻坐下,拿起调羹狼吞虎咽起来。风卷残云,一会儿一半下肚了,突然间他发现在砂锅底躺着一只很小很小但皮毛已长全的小老鼠。一阵恶心,那人把吃下去的所有粉丝通通吐回了砂锅里。当他在那儿翻胃不已的时候,那绅士用很同情的眼光看着他,说:“很恶心是吗?刚才我也是这样
九、小美特别喜欢吃猪血糕,每次在路边看到卖猪血糕的摊子,一定会买来过过瘾。某天,她在路上看到有一六十多岁的阿婆在卖,就去买来吃。吃罢,发现这猪血糕异常美味,於是她就想向阿婆至上最高的敬意。
(用台语对答)`
美:「阿婆,你的猪血糕怎会那麽香?」
婆:「材料珍贵,一个月只能卖几天。」
美:「哇!那麽珍贵的材料,你哪拿的?」
婆:「唉,我的用了几十年,现在老了,没了。现在只能靠我女儿了。」
美:「*&%@」
十、医学院学生围在盖着白布的尸体周围第一次上真人解剖课。教授开始讲课了,“做为医生,必需具备两项重要素质,第一要不怕恶心”。说完教授掀开白布,把手指插入尸体肛门,然后抽出并放在嘴里吮吸。“学着做”,他告诉同学们。同学们都觉得很恶心,犹豫很久但最终不得不依次去做。当最后一个人做完后,教授又说“第二个素质是观察。我插入中指但吸食指。同学们,要注意观察!”
流氓兔乘火车
在一列火车上,坐了四个人:流氓兔,德国军官,年轻姑娘,老太太。火车进隧道了,车厢里一片漆黑,先传出了一声亲嘴的动静,随后就是一记响亮的耳光。
火车除了隧道,之间德国军官脸上有一个巴掌印,尴尬得坐在那里。
那年轻姑娘想:这人也太坏了,想趁黑欺负我,没想到亲到老太太脸上了,结果被打了一巴掌,真是活该。
老太太想:这人也太坏了,想趁黑欺负 那姑娘结果被扇了一巴掌,活该。
德国军官想:流氓兔太可恶了,趁黑欺负了那姑娘,可是他一闪,害我替他挨了一巴掌。
流氓兔想:我亲了一下自己的手背,又打了那德国军官一下,太过瘾了!!!!!!!!!
我买了个摩托罗拉手写的手机,拿去学校显摆,有一个同学问我借着听歌,我也很大方就借她听了,(我已经调出了MP3)听了一下,她想玩别的,就问我这个歌怎么关的,我就随口说了句:那是手写的手机你都不知道关? 然后我那同学就点点头说:袄,是不是在屏幕上写个“关”字? 我顿时无语了!
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冷笑话作为一种新兴的颇受年轻人和网民喜爱的语言方式,一般不会使读者在听到或者读到之后立即发笑,而往往会停顿一下才能明白其中的幽默点。我分享关于英文小笑话小短文带翻译,希望可以帮助大家!关于英文小笑话小短文带翻译:讲出故事的结尾 The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick ...
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很久以前有一棵苹果树。一个小男孩每天都喜欢来到树旁玩耍。他爬到树顶,吃苹果,在树荫里打盹……他爱这棵树,树也爱和他一起玩。随着时间的流逝,小男孩长大了。他不再到树旁玩耍了。一天,男孩回到树旁,看起来很悲伤。“来和我玩吧!”树说。“我不再是小孩了,我不会再到树下玩耍了。”...
英语幽默小短文(初一能看懂的)
Tom was an eight-year-old boy.He come to a new town with his parents.His family was very rich(富有的).They lived in a big,beautiful house with a big garden.They had a driver,a cook,a gardener(园丁) anda lot of servants(佣人).Tom was going to a new school.On the ...
急需鲜为人知的爆笑笑话(要长一些)
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籍耐君然: 1、两辆小汽车一不小心撞到一起了,驾驶员都撸着袖子恶狠狠地下了车.甲指着自己的车牌号对乙吼道:“瞧瞧我的牌号!00544(动动我试试)!”乙不甘示弱地回答:“你瞧瞧我的牌号!44944(试试就试试)! 2、在一个挤满人的公共汽...
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籍耐君然: 搞笑短文20篇 有一颗豆,跌倒了,它气馁,情绪低落,有什么能鼓励它站起来?答案就是“你”!因为有一样东西,叫做“猪鼓励豆”. 米的妈妈是谁?是花!因为花生米!米的爸爸是谁?是蝶!因为碟恋花!米的外婆是谁?是妙笔!因为妙...
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籍耐君然: 壹.中式咖啡 饭后去滨河公园遛弯,看到一对时髦夫妇带了一条贵宾犬,喜欢狗的我凑了过去.“这狗真漂亮!”我由衷的赞叹说,“叫什么名字?”“叫——咖啡!”女主人听到我夸她的狗很开心!“咖啡?很洋气的名字啊!”我说.“是啊...
克拉玛依区18318338083: 英语幽默小短文 2分钟左右,搞笑一点,最好不要对话,生词注一下音标和意思.只要小学生能看懂,不要太长!哪位先知帮个忙,实在急,本周六之前!好的... - ?
籍耐君然:[答案] Without you,my world began to dim;without you,my way forward was so obscure and vague.I regretted that last night I didn't cherish you well.So today--I have to buy another pair of glasses to take your...
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籍耐君然: Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why ...
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籍耐君然:[答案] Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is ...
克拉玛依区18318338083: 我要几篇很搞笑的短文,要短一点,好玩的 - ?
籍耐君然: · 上初中时一次语文考试,考初唐四杰,俺班一牛人答:东邪西毒,南帝北丐. 记得是初中语文考试,写古诗下句. 上句是:“待到山花烂漫时”,偶们班一猛人居然填了:“我便奋力把花采”. 初二,语文试卷:(),可以为师矣.(出自《师说》,正确应填“温故而知新”). 偶一同学答:师范毕业后. 我有个同学的同学据说考语文时,要求写“但愿人长久”的后句,憋了半天,憋出来句“一颗永流传”. 有一位哲学系的老师在期中考时只考了一题. 题目是这样的“什么是勇气?” 就当大家拼了命在想怎么写什么的时候…… 有个同学交卷了……他不是一字没写喔! 不过他写的只有五个字“这就是勇气”? ——开心每一天,就在本笑区
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籍耐君然: After reading an article entitled 'Cigarette Smoking and Your Health' I lit a cigarette to calm my nerves. I smoked with concentration and pleasure as I was sure that this would be my last cigarette. For a whole week I did not smoke at all and during this...