明天课前要用，急求一篇四个人的搞笑英语对话 每人四句以上 内容要搞笑 要翻译 ，谢

急求一篇5分钟左右的四人英语情景对话（有翻译），要很幽默的，在对话当中要能有很多搞笑的动作。~

顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了
服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！
Diner:Watchout!Yourthumbsinmysoup!
Waiter:Don'tworrySirit'snotthathot!
服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”
Awaiterbringsthecustomerthesteakheorderedwithhisthumboverthemeat.Areyoucrazy?yelledthecustomerwithyourhandonmysteak?WhatanswersthewaiterYouwantittofallontheflooragain?
服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！
服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？
Waiter:Teaorcoffeegentlemen?
I'llhavetea.
2ndcustomer:Metoo-andbesuretheglassisclean!
(Waiterexitsreturns)Waiter:Twoteas.Whichoneaskedforthecleanglass?
顾客：服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？看起来象是在仰泳，
Waiterwhat'sthisflydoinginmysoup?Umlookstometobebackstrokesir...
顾客：汤里有只苍蝇！
服务员：别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!
Don'tworrysirthespideronthebreadrollwillget'em.
服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!Nosirthat'sacockroachtheflyisonyoursteak.
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!Keepitdownsirorthey'llallbewantingone.
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。
Waiterthere'saflyinmysoup!ItsOKSirthere'snoextracharge!
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。
Waiterthereisaflyinmysoup!SorrysirmaybeI'veforgottenitwhenIremovedtheotherthree.
服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！
是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。
Waiterthere'sadeadflyinmysoup!
Yessirit'sthehotwaterthatkillsthem.

前台小姐：“you have what thing?”
你有什么事
老外：“can you speak english?” 你能说英语吗
前台小姐：“if i not speak english, i am speaking what?”如果我没在说英语，那我在说什么？
老外：“can anybody else speak english? ”有没有其他人会说
前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.”你自己看看，所有的人都在玩，没有人有时间，你可以等，你等，你不等，随你。
老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak english?”上帝，这有人会说英语吗
前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”叫什么叫，安静一点，你在这里有什么事
老外：“i want to speak to your head.”我想要跟你的上司讲。
前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”头不在，你明天来。

其实这里前台小姐讲的是中文式英语，不翻译也知道啦～
好笑不

　　第一篇
　　1.Today, I want to tell you a joke, the three countries onto ghosts, the Chinese, French, British, gather together,they are squandering their respective countries to see whose spending even more strongly that the French people to put only rats drank whiskey irrigation, drinking,No go rat holes that rats on the dizzy, the British Brandy also filling the rats, the rats drank just afterHalo quickly on the Chinese people to the country's irrigation Erguotou mice, rats drilling holes.While Britain and France onto China onto the ghosts of ghosts laugh when I saw the rats out from the pit, holding a stick, shouting, cats,You give up.
　　2.Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
　　"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
　　"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
　　"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
　　Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
　　The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
　　从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。
　　那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。”
　　3.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
　　4.Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
　　"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

　　四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
　　呵呵,一个比一个效率高.

　　第二篇

　　A: Hi, dou you know what time the Olympic Games will be hold in Beijing?
　　B: It will be hold in Aug. 8th 2008. What's up?
　　C: We are planning went to Beijing during the Olympic Games!
　　B: Really? That's great! The Olympic will be hold during our summer vocation!,I think we have enough time to prepare what we can do for the Olympic!
　　A、C: Of course!
　　D: Hi, my dear friends, what are you talking?
　　A: We are talking about something exciting , that is we will go to beijing in August to look the Olympic Games.
　　D: Oh, I want to be there, too.
　　A: Ok, if we all want to went to beijing, let's discuss what time should we book the ticket? and when shall we leave?
　　C：Yes, right! I suggest that we should arrival Beijing one week before the Olympic Game start.
　　B: Maybe one week were not enough...there will be a lot of pepole from all over the world in beijing during the Olympic! We should arrive to Beijing two weeks before the Game.
　　D: Yes, I agree with you!
　　A: Right, I am afraid that it will be difficult for us to find a hotel to rest. So we need to book the hotel as soon as possible!
　　C: All right. I will try to contact the hotel. If I have any news I will inform you are as soon as possible!
　　A、B、D: OK!

　　第三篇
　　HOST: Life in the future will be really exciting. We may live on the moon or even another planet! Scientists are studying this right now. How? Well, let’s watch this story and find out!

　　DOCUMENTARY

　　This is Biosphere 2.

　　Scientists built this place in the 1980s. They wanted to study the earth’s environment, and learn the best way to build a similar place on the moon and on the planet Mars.

　　This is a model of Biosphere 2. It has different kinds of places, of biomes. There’s an ocean, a rain forest, a grassland, a marsh, a desert, a farmland, and a human habitat.

　　Today, scientists use Biosphere 2 to study many different things, but not how to build a place to live in on the moon or on Mars.

　　This is a model of Biosphere 2. It has different kinds of places, or biomes. There’s an ocean, a rain forest, a grassland, a marsh, a desert, a farmland, and a human habitat.

　　Today, scientists use Biosphere 2 to study many different things, but not how to build a place o live in on the moon or on Mars. One important thing they are studying in Biosphere 2 is the change in climate, or weather. They want to learn why the climate is changing.

　　And they want to learn how this affects the earth and everything that lives on the earth.

　　Scientists say that in the future, people will have o make difficult choices about how they live on our planet.

　　What kinds of choices do you think people will have to make?

.Today, I want to tell you a joke, the three countries onto ghosts, the Chinese, French, British, gather together,they are squandering their respective countries to see whose spending even more strongly that the French people to put only rats drank whiskey irrigation, drinking,No go rat holes that rats on the dizzy, the British Brandy also filling the rats, the rats drank just afterHalo quickly on the Chinese people to the country's irrigation Erguotou mice, rats drilling holes.While Britain and France onto China onto the ghosts of ghosts laugh when I saw the rats out from the pit, holding a stick, shouting, cats,You give up.
2.Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。
那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。”
3.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

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