一篇英语短文
Wake up! Wake up! It's time for sleeping pills!
醒来!醒来!现在该吃安眠药了!
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时,他的话题又来了:“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴,那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?”
“我来试试看,”一位老太太说。
“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”
Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
疯人院
一天晚上,在疯人院里,一个病人说:"我是拿破仑!"另一个说:"你怎么知道?"第一个人说:"上帝对我说的!"一会儿,一个声音从另一个房间传来:"我没说!"
Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
进步
一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”
“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
Half or Five Tenths?
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
半个还是十分之五
老师:你愿意要半个柑橘,还是十分之五个柑橘?
杰拉得:我宁可要半个。
老师:仔细想想,说出理由来。
杰拉得:因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五,那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
迟到的原因
老 师:约翰尼,为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处,就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
人们什么时候说话最少?
学生甲:人们在什么时候说话最少?
学生乙:在二月。
学生甲:为什么呢?
学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师:汤姆,‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆:男人们。
老师:答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆:双胞胎。
All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
除了音乐
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐,就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象,她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候,她问小萨莉:“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢,好极了,小姐,” 萨莉说,“除了音乐其它都很好。”
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
老师:凯温,这次你怎么又迟到了?
凯温:对不起,老师,我在家钉钉子,砸坏了两个手指头。
老师:怎么没有扎绷带呀?
凯温:噢,砸的不是我的手指头,我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候
老师:马修,新西兰的气候怎么样?
马修:先生,那里的天气很冷。
老师:错了。
马修:可是,先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
Lightning
Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?
Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!
闪电
老师:为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方?
罗伊:因为它击中一个地方一次以后,那个地方就不存在了。
Who Discovered Australia?
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It's there, sir.
Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
谁发现了澳大利亚?
老师:约翰尼,在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。
约翰尼:先生,在这儿。
老师:对了。萨默,你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚?
萨默:先生,是约翰尼。
Essay
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."
作文
老师给学生出了个作文题:“一场板球赛”。两分钟后,西蒙。斯蒂尔交了作文,老师允许他回家了。他在作文上写道:“下雨,比赛终止。”
How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?
Jonathan: Nine, sir.
Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.
多少只兔子?
老师:好,乔纳森,假如我给你三只兔子,第二天我又给你五只,你一共有多少只兔子?
乔纳森:一共有九只,先生。
老师:九只?
乔纳森:先生,我本来就有一只。
To Go to Heaven
Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up -- don't you want to go to Heaven?
Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home.
去天堂
主日学校的教员:想去天堂的人举起手来,把手举起来。。。你呢,哈里?你还没举手呢-- 你不想去天堂吗?
哈里: 我去不了,因为妈妈让我一放学就回家。
第三人称版:
My name is Lucy,and I'm looking forward to my friend Roes' arrival.She's coming to my home to play with me for a few days. Here is the route how she gets here.
After the train from the train station, she'd take bus No.11 or directly take a taxi to the bus station of Xinhua North Street. The station is in my neighborhood, so I will pick her up at the station.We can walk to the beach from our house to play.
第一人称版
Hi,Lucy!
I'm really looking forward to your arrival. Remember what I've told you how to get here?
First,when you get off the train from the train station, you'd take bus No.11 or directly take a taxi to the bus station of Xinhua North Street.
You'll see my waiting you right there cause the station is in my neighborhood.
After that ,we can just relax and walk to the beach to have fun!
1. Don't worry about being perfect. There are never right or wrong answers to complex business decisions. The best that you can do as a leader is to gather all of the information that you can (in a timely manner), do a cost-benefit analysis of potential options, use your best judgment — and then go for it.
2. Learn to live with failure. Great salespeople are the ones who get rejected the most often. They just ask for the order more than the other salespeople. You are going to make mistakes. You are human. Learn from these mistakes and move on.
3. After you make the final decision — commit! Don't continually second-guess yourself. Great leaders communicate with a sense of belief in what they are doing and with positive expectations toward the achievement of their vision.
4. Show courage on the outside — even if you don't always feel it on the inside. Everyone is afraid sometimes. If you are a leader, your direct reports will read your every expression. If you show a lack of courage, you will begin to damage your direct reports' self-confidence.
5. Find happiness and contentment in your work. Life is short. My extensive research indicates that we are all going to die anyway. Do your best. Follow your heart. When you win, celebrate. When you lose, just start over the next day.
青春youth
(美)塞缪尔•厄儿曼Ullman
青春不是年华,而是心境;青春不是桃面、丹唇、柔膝,而是深沉的意志、恢弘的想象、炽热的感情;青春是生命的深泉在涌流。青春气贯长虹,勇锐盖过怯弱,进取压倒苟安。如此锐气,二十后生有之,六旬男子则更多见。年岁有加,并非垂老;理想丢弃,方堕暮年。岁月悠悠,哀微肌肤,热忱抛弃,颓唐,必致灵魂忧烦,惶恐、丧失自信,定使心灵扭曲,意气如灰。无论年届花甲,抑或二八芳龄,心中皆有生命之欢乐,奇迹之诱惑,孩童般天真久盛不衰。人人心中皆有一台天线,只要你从天上接受美好、欢乐和力量的信号,你就青春永驻、风华常存。一旦天线降下,锐气便被冰雪覆盖,玩世不恭、自暴自弃油然而生,即便年方二十,实以垂老矣;然则只要竖起天线,捕捉乐观信号,你就有望在八十高龄告别尘寰时仍觉年轻。
Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life. Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spring back to dust. Whether 60 or 16 years old, there is the lure of wonder, the unfailing childlike appetite and the joy of the game of living in every human beings heart. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young. When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at 20, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at 80.
Be a lifelong learner
做一个终身学习的人
1. Learning doesn’t finish when you leave school.
2.Learning can become a way of life which helps you to achieve your greatest potential.
3.We never stop learning; there is always something new and interesting to discover.
4.Learning new skills can be a bit scary but we all need to do this each time we reach a personal learning plateau.
5.Cross the plateau by actively seeking support and advice.
6.Take up some training, further education night classes any new interest which will help you to develop your strengths.
7.Keep looking and listening and keep your brain active. You are never too old to learn.
University is not the only way out, but the university is a good way. Experienced college life is not life, how many would be regrettable. 300 days of struggle, happy life. This community has failed to diploma will be respected, to live in the bottom of society, was bullied, and can not resist. In fact, we are not lazy, but rather a lack of self-confidence, with confidence in learning, learning becomes full, and easily.大学不是唯一出路,但大学是好的出路。不经历过大学生活的人生,多少会令人遗憾。奋斗300天,幸福一辈子。这社会没文凭会被人看不起,生活在社会底层,被欺负,还不能反抗。其实我们不是懒惰,而是缺少自信,有了学习的信心,学习变得很充实,很轻松。
My name is XXX, play basketball, football-loving playing badminton and table tennis and playing computer games. And enjoy reading, read the newspapers
英语美文小短文100
英语美文小短文100词篇1 positive Scripts One thing that you may observe is on how easy it is for your mind to build negative thought upon negative thought. The chatter not only does not stop but it spins a drama that traps and limits you.From now on, regularly do this exe...
英语美文短篇精选3篇带翻译
英语短篇励志美文 Keep calm at least When you had fallen to the bottom of your life, every people around you would tell you: Be hard-bitten and be happy!To be hard-bitten would be necessary, but be happy? Even in that serious occation? That would be hard for you, after ...
英语小短文带翻译简单【五篇】
like happiness, to those who are aiming at something higher. It is a byproduct of great, simple living. The joy of living comes from what we put into living, not from what we seek to get from it. 翻译 生活之乐趣来源于良好的情绪,信赖这些情绪,并任由它们如同鸟儿高翔于天...
英语经典短篇美文3篇
英语美文小短文欣赏篇一 铺满钻石的土地Acres of Diamonds There was a farmer in Africa who was happy and content. He was happy because he was content. He was content because he was happy. 从前在非洲有一位快乐而满足的农夫。他因满足而快乐,同时也因快乐而感到满足。 One day a wise man came ...
英语经典短篇美文3篇
英语美文小短文欣赏篇一:铺满钻石的土地 曾有一位非洲农夫,他生活简单而快乐。他因满足而快乐,因快乐而满足。一日,一位智者告诉他钻石的荣耀和力量。那天晚上,农夫无法入睡。他变得不快乐且不满足。他开始卖掉农场,照顾家人,并开始寻找钻石。他寻遍非洲,一无所获。他寻遍欧洲,同样一无所获。...
英语美文小短文欣赏3篇
英语美文小短文欣赏篇一 还在进行演讲呢 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge...
关于英语简单小短文大全
关于简单的英语小短文篇1 网上聊天 Chat on the internet I have received a e-mail from an old friend yesterday. she asked how my summer holiday is.had I ever gone to somewhere for pleasure ! and also ,told me that she wanted to go around for fun ,but ,unfortunately,there ...
英语故事短文【六篇】
【篇一】英语故事短文:老鼠和公牛 A mouse once took a bite out of a bull's tail as he lay dozing. The bull jumped up in a rage and, with his head low to the ground, chased the mouse right across the yard. The mouse was too quick for him, however, and slipped easily...
英语小短文及翻译3篇
英语小短文及翻译:Shower-Home-Monday 淋浴-家里-星期一 I usually take a shower right after I get out of my bed in the morning;it wakes me up right waay.我总是(通常)在早晨一起床之后就会去冲个澡,这会让我马上清醒过来。Instead of soap,I use shower gel to clean my body....
小学四年级英语短文【三篇】
【篇一】1. When Clifford grows up, he is the biggest, reddest dog on my street. We play games. We have fun together.当Clifford长大后,他成了我们这条街上、最红的狗狗。我们一起玩游戏,有很多乐趣呢。2. I throw a stick, and he brings it back to me. He makes mistakes ...
尤柱派奇:[答案] lucy is lovely.she is good at PE.she likes running.she always happy because she has a nice family.sometimes she looks busy,she spends a lot of time looking after her little pumpy.how funny!but her mot...
德阳市18841402285: 写一篇英语小短文,不少于200字.急!急!急! - ?
尤柱派奇: 一】My family There are 3 people in my family. My father、 mother and me. My father is an officer. He is not very tall, but he is thin. He has two small eyes. The eyebrow is coarse. He often has on one yellow eyeglass and he has two small ears. My ...
德阳市18841402285: 一篇英语小短文?
尤柱派奇: I have a little brother named Jeff. He likes to play soccer. He has a whole shelf full of soccer trophies in his room that he share with me. He also like other sports like volleyball, but he likes soccer the best. So he has one soccer ball and three volleyballs....
德阳市18841402285: 英语小短文!1篇!短一点! - ?
尤柱派奇: 英语幽默短文 Five Hundred Times 五百遍 In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher ...
德阳市18841402285: 急求一篇英语短文,要很短的文章. - ?
尤柱派奇: My holiday 我的假期 Summer holiday has already come. How happy am I! The favorite thing I wanna do is traveling. I joined an outdoor club and went to the seaside in Zhejiang province with other members. On July 20, we started our journey at 21:...
德阳市18841402285: 一篇英语短文 - ?
尤柱派奇: Hello,F.How are you? I'm on the bed with a great fever now.However,the examination...
德阳市18841402285: 求一篇英语短文?
尤柱派奇: My house is in Lixin Garden, Let me tell you how to my house. first, go straight down the Xinan street across from Shidai shop. then turn left at the second crossing ,nest go straight ,turn left at next crossing. there is my house. there is a new hotel acroos from my house .welcome to my house.
德阳市18841402285: 写一篇英语短文?
尤柱派奇: Our school's library is very large.There are many/lots of books and magazines in it.The students must obey these rules when they come in the library.Don't take your schoolbag to the library. When you're reading,you need keep quiet. you can borrow ...
德阳市18841402285: 一篇英语小短文 - ?
尤柱派奇: 风和太阳(The Wind And The Sun) One day the wind said to the sun, “Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.” “We will see about that,” said the sun. “I will let you try first.” So the wind ...