搞笑段子 现在连出家当和尚都要看学历了吗
Skipping Class -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cast Anita: Never understands why students like to skip classes Kevin: Treats “skipping classes” as the principle of university life Ken: Eager to skip classes but dares not to do it Jason: Always commits himself not to skip classes Steven: Always gives himself a good excuse for skipping class Rita: A professional class skipper -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene I (Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students. They are good friends. One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom.) Ken: Why are you late? And, you just missed the last class. The teacher gave us the main topics for the mid-term examination. Jason: Oh, shoot! I just missed it. Would you lend me your notes so I can make a copy? Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class. You promised me that you would be in class on time today. Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word. The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning. Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning. Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning? Why? What did you do yesterday afternoon? I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday. Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long… Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene II (Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom. And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class.) Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes. Where are you going? Don’t tell me that you are going to argue with Jason. Steven: I will do anything for my good friend. Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time. Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business. You’ll get yourself in trouble. Don’t you know it? ... Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him. He will not listen to you. Just leave him alone. By the way, I am still waiting for your decision. Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow? Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it. What time tomorrow? Kevin: Two o’clock. I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin. Oh, how wonderful! Anita: wait a minute. We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon. Are you out of your mind? Kevin: Well, I’m not. Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else. Anita: No, this is a very important class. And you would never understand it without listening to the lecture. Kevin: To me it makes no difference. Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about. Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene III (After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building. At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm. They meet in front of the laboratory.) Rita: Here I am. Look, I did what I promised. I am a good girl, not skipping classes. Anita: What are you talking about? This is the 5th class. You skipped the first four classes this morning. Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class. Rita: Did I? We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays. Anita: I beg your pardon? Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day. Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class? Rita: I thought you were going to the library. Anita: You are loopy now because you’ve skipped too, too many classes. Rita: Why did you say so? I know that we will have the Computer Program test tomorrow. Anita: You are incurable. The test was this morning! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene IV (Ken and Rita are talking to each other. They are talking about how to skip a class. ) Ken: I wonder why your Calculus professor never takes attendance. Yet, every time I skipped class, my professor always knew I was absent. I think I am really unlucky. Rita: well, you’ll appreciate what I’m going to tell you now, my three very good suggestions. Ken: What are they? Rita: Now lend me your ears – First of all, whether you skip the class or not, you’ll never pass the course. Ken: How do you know that I will not pass? Rita: Calculus is extremely difficult. I don’t believe you can pass it. Ken: Maybe you are right. What else? Rita: Before you skip the class you should treat everyone nicely. And after that, you should try to flatter your professor. Ken: Why? Rita: Well if you treat the classmates nicely, they will help you sign your name on the attendance sheet. And if you flatter your professor properly, you may ask the professor to pass you. Lastly – To skip the classes successfully you cannot skip too many classes or too few. Ken: What do you mean? Not too many and not too few? Rita: You need good weather for skipping classes so you can go out to fool around. And then you need good timing so you can go to the newly opened internet café that is on discount. Finally you need good relationships with the classmates so they can cover it up for you. Ken: You are a genius. Rita: I am just very professional. Ken: I see now. I will try sometimes. Hah, Hah, Hah!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene V (Ken meets Kevin at the parking lot.) Kevin: It’s time for the English class. Why are you here? Ken: I don’t want to go to English class. I want to cut the class. Kevin: Why? Ken: Because someone told me cutting classes can be fun. Kevin: That’s right. I will show you how much fun it is to cut classes. Ken: Ok. Let’s go. (Kevin and Ken cut the class and go out to have fun with girls. And both of them will fail the English class. Therefore next semester they will see Jean, their English teacher, again.)2011-9-25 下午 07:49:29
泰国电视剧有很多，其爱情剧尤为出名，最近几年也是继韩流之后，有在亚洲掀起一股潮流的趋势，它们其中也不乏制作精良的作品，下面介绍几部堪称经典的泰剧
《天生一对》
该剧主要讲述的是穿越，一名女大学生，在车祸之后穿越到古代，并与古代的一名贵族男生发生了一些列的故事。这部电视剧在泰国是十分火，据统计，泰国将近百分之八十的人都看过此剧，剧组人员还接受过总理的接见，可见此剧在泰国究竟有多火。
《为爱所困》
虽然是一部讲述同性恋的电视剧，但是在泰国很火，《为爱所困》总共有两季，第一季有12集，剧情紧凑，引人入胜。到了第二季，则更新到了32集，并加入了很多支线剧情，丰富了剧本，让人看着很过瘾。
《钻石面具》
主要讲的是失忆女被人指示，整容成男主未婚妻，来骗取聘礼的故事。这部剧在泰国也很受欢迎，不仅剧情紧张刺激，更重要的是看着过瘾，人物设定即合理又天马行空，是很独特的一部电视剧。
《逐星之月》
2014年的黑马电视剧，由kenp和namtarn主演，两人配合很默契，而且颜值出奇的高，整部电视剧配乐恰到好处，虽然剧情有些狗血，但是让人看起来很开心。
《人生波动》
这部电视剧是2017年收视冠军，其豆瓣也达到了8.3的高分，这部剧剧情有些狗血，男主女主在各种折腾之后，彼此之间的感情不断升温，可以说在剧情上，有种让人越看越爱看的感觉。
因为佛教博大精深，需要高学历的人士研究。现在几所名牌大学都有佛教研究所，中国社会科学院也有佛教研究中心，可见，佛教是非常深奥的学问。如果出家人都没有学问，佛经都看不懂，就没有资格做法师了，也就不可能讲经说法，广度众生。因此佛教欢迎高学历的人士出家当和尚，并非笑话。
必须的，还要高学历的，除非打杂的。要不在研究佛经方面有突出
畅虏小儿： 不是的,学佛的人不一定都要出家,如果你真心想念佛,你的文凭又不够,那样的话你可以选择在家修行,不论在家还是出家,只要你诚心念佛,都是可以的,在家学佛几岁都行的. 另外,你可以看看这些念佛的经文,有的我也念过,有的嘛,现在自认识的不多,不认识.早课 晚课 地藏经 金刚经 阿弥陀经 心经 等等
疏附县17318886742： 幽默搞笑笑话 - ？
畅虏小儿： 1、以前有个姓石教书先生,要求学生对对联要非常工整,绝对个个是严对,宽对不允许.一天,先生在讲课,外面有一只大公鸡老是叫,他一烦就捡个砖头打它,真准,一下给砸死了.怎么办?当着这么多学生把人家的鸡给砸死啦,不好看哪...
疏附县17318886742： 听说现在出家当和尚都得需要本科学历,是真的吗? - ？
畅虏小儿： 对,现在出家还需要学历. 但想修行修炼的话,人类新生活模式第二家园也可以修行修炼,不需要你的学历,只需要你有灵觉.
疏附县17318886742： 为什么现在出家做和尚还要求学历 - ？
畅虏小儿： 寺院剃度规约出家为僧,乃如来为住持与流通佛法而设,故出家之人须立上求佛道之志,下化众生之心,研究佛法,彻悟自心,担荷如来家业,延续法门慧命,使正法久住,流通十方.古人谓出...
疏附县17318886742： 求经典的短笑话冷笑话 - ？
畅虏小儿： 1、一饿狼觅食,听到有女人在训孩子:再哭就把你扔出去喂狼! 孩子哭一夜,狼在门外痴痴等至天亮,长叹一声:骗子,女人都是骗子! 2.一犯人被执行枪决 ,由于子弹是劣质的,第一枪没放出,接着又...
疏附县17318886742： 听说现在当和尚也要高学历 是真的吗? - ？
畅虏小儿： 这种说法流传很广,但并不符合实际情况,只是部分寺院有这种要求而已.
疏附县17318886742： 现在当和尚也要学历??? - ？
畅虏小儿： 那是扯淡的说法! 佛教发源于古印度,随后传向世界,分为汉传佛教(以汉地为主)、藏传佛教(以藏地为主)和南传佛教(以东南亚为主)三大流域,他们之间的区别类似于一所大学的三大学区.你想出家,成为一名秉承佛陀意志的修行者,...
疏附县17318886742： 听说做和尚都要看学历去,这是真的吗? - ？
畅虏小儿： 不是的 初中就可以 出家条件:1.父母亲或监护人的同意许可,持父母同意的书面材料,和身份证、户籍证明(由派出所开)、体健正面到你认为有缘的寺院.2. 四肢齐全.(缺欠手脚、手脚歪曲、瘫痪、小儿麻痹症患者、麻疯病患者、歪头...
疏附县17318886742： 佛教 现在当和尚都需要本科学历了吗?还要求各种证书?不收残疾人,这算是败坏佛门了吗? - ？
畅虏小儿： 现在的社会就这样了. 因为人们的文化水平普遍提高 所以现在当和尚都需要本科学历了. 还要求各种证书,不收残疾人. 现在很多和尚也是见钱眼开
