【环球游记177】一次非暴力沟通的实践---里约Day2

~ 【前记】

非暴力沟通是Nonviolent Communication（简写NVC）一词的中译，又称爱的语言、长颈鹿语言等。

著名的马歇尔·卢森堡博士发现了神奇而平和的非暴力沟通方式，通过非暴力沟通，世界各地无数的人们获得了爱、和谐和幸福。

当我们褪去隐蔽的精神暴力，爱将自然流露。

NVC相信，人的天性是友善的，暴力的方式是后天习得的。NVC还认为，我们所有人有共同的、基本的需要，人的行为是满足一种或多种需要的策略。

NVC的目的是通过建立联系使我们能够理解并看重彼此的需要，然后一起寻求方法满足双方的需要。换言之，NVC提供具体的技巧帮助我们建立联系，使友爱互助成为现实。

【实践经过】

昨天在里约逛的本来挺开心，可是到了晚上我们就抓狂：提前预订的airbnb房间第二次被水！如果你看过那篇我们刚到里约的文章，第一晚的住宿就是因为联系不上Airbnb房东，我们“被迫”住进了豪华酒店。

在airbnb客服人员的协调下，我们预约了第二家，一开始联系不上，和客服耐着性子沟通协助。

我只能怪自己不会葡萄牙语。

后来联系倒是联系上了，结果房东说，他的房子已经有人住了！WTF？

早上我俩一点玩的心情也没有，默默目送Eddie他们离开后，决定蹲在酒店把房子先搞定。不然晚上我就要跟Eddie和Lucio三个人挤一张床了，外带两个女生睡旁边沙发床，五个人住一间房，酒店会把我们轰出去吧……

客服换了一波，

又一波

我们的旅行时间流逝一秒又一秒。

你说是不是摊上事儿了？

本来想订个酒店算了，结果一看狂欢节期间的价格，暴涨了不止3，4倍！

“事不过三，要不再试试？”我跟甜甜说。“你再继续找找房子，我必须和airbnb的客服来一次非暴力沟通，要求赔偿精神损失！”

我们俩的邮件来往几乎可以作为投诉和危机公关的范例了，更是非暴力沟通的一次具体实践。

我首先开始

Hi Tiago,

Thanks for your quick response as a manager.

I totally understand your situation and I don't try to be mean but just wanna settle down soon. You see me and my wife has to sit in the hotel hall for over an hour busy contacting other airnbnb hosts but get no reply from any of them.

I can't call them because I don't speak Portuguese and I doubt if they speak English.

The thing is house sources can be found and but host NOT. My wife just got another host's response saying her house has been booked by someone already while I am writing a reply to you. How can this happen? A booked room info appears on the available list again? This can lead us to waste lots of time contacting nobody! Because they don't have a clue what's going on! And I have to say this is due to Airbnb checking system or whatever technology loophole!

So you see we both talk about reasons and solutions here. Can you see what you can do right now?

A disappointed-and-holiday-schedule-interrupted couple

我得承认这封邮件是带着情绪的，写的酣畅淋漓，一气呵成，但没有破口大骂。如我所说，甜甜又联系了一家，被告知同样的问题：出现在app中的房源信息联系过后又说没有了，那这不是airbnb系统的问题是什么？可我知道现在的目标是落实住房和沟通赔偿，我得让他觉得负起责任来。

收到Tiago的回信：

Hi Jack,

Thank you so much for getting back to me on this. I really appreciate it. I completely understand where you are coming from and thank you for taking the time to explain the situation to me.

I tried to ring you just there but unfortunately I could not get through to you.

Jack, I apologize for the inconvenience this situation has caused you. Your host Marcelo had a guest already at the listing until the 17-02-2018, however his guest made a mistake when she tried to extend her stay, she mistakenly canceled the reservation instead of making alteration.

These situations are rare on Airbnb and I am going to work hard to make sure you are taken care of.

Airbnb will be covering 10% of any additional costs you incur towards your new reservation, however if you need I will talk with my supervisor to see if we can increase the coupon.

To help with your search, I've provided a direct link to some Airbnb listings in the area you're looking to stay.

一大堆Link........

Jack, if you think any of these spaces might work for you, please contact the hosts directly to confirm availability and ask them any questions you may have. Please also let me know what you're looking for in accommodations so I can help you search for places . While I'm unable to make a reservation on your behalf, I'm more than happy to follow up with any hosts you contact.

I'd like to talk to you on the phone to better help clarify all your doubts. Can you please tell me a phone contact as well as the best time to call you.

I will be awaiting your reply, thank you very much.

Tiago

我只能说Tiago确实是受过良好训练的客服经理，措辞显得极为关心客户；直呼其名更能体现直接对话的效果，值得借鉴。但他这个时候显然还不知道到底发生了什么，继续推荐房源给我们，而甜甜已经又一次被拒绝了，同样的情形。但他态度诚恳，也有行动，回复及时。

于是我说：

Hi Tiago,

Thank you again for the support .

Me and my wife have been contacting different hosts for the past two hours. The major challenge we are facing now is almost all the contacts either don't reply or say that their house has been rented already. It really confuses us what's going on and leaves us in doubt if any rooms are really available at this moment.

My wife is using her Airbnb account to look for rooms but experienced the similar disappointment. No response. Or cancelation by the host. Or constantly calling your colleague for help and being redirect to other supporting Airbnb staff.

Due to cost of communication, which adds up to extra 10 hours on this and continuous despair, we can only now consider hotel in Rio, more direct and certain. We'd like to ask you to assist us applying higher refund on our Rio trip.

I totally understand this is not your problem and you have been very supportive. We like Airbnb and use it alsmot 20 times. However, sometimes when s*** hits the fan, nobody can escape but must clean the mess.

Thanks and look fwd to your positive reply soon.

Jack

由于多次联系房东无果，这一次我更直接了当的提出了问题和赔偿要求，并表达了我不是针对个人和Airbnb，只是里约目前的情况浪费了我们很多时间。当然整个过程大吼大叫没有用，多说“谢谢”，“请”，“期待”这些词更有助于沟通效果。又经过了一个多小时的等待，甜甜也继续在积极联系房源，Tiago回复了。

Dear Jack,

Thank you again for your email.

We are hugely disappointed when situations like this occur, and it's our hope that we can take care of things and make it right.

I totally understand that you preferred to move your reservation into a hotel and I can only imagine how frustrating and upsetting that was after having two cancellation in a row. While I am happy you and your wife booked a hotel, I feel so horrible that it even happened.

I am confirming with you that the amount of CN¥2,392.64 has been refunded back to the Alipay. You will see the reflection with your financial institution within While this happens instantly on our end, it may take up to 3 full business days for Alipay to process and update your account to reflect the refund. Of course, it will depend on how quickly the institution can process returned funds.

Unfortunately, I cannot process a refund for the time of communication. But wait Jack, let's not stop there, let's take it up a notch. I do believe you are entitled to a form of compensation for what happened and, because of this, I would love to humbly offer you the next coupon, worth of $200 USD on behalf of Airbnb and which you can use if you'd like to go on a well-deserved trip for yourself, to have an adventure or a relaxing holiday. It is my way to let you know we appreciate you as a awesome member in the Airbnb community.

Your coupon code is:

This $200.00 USD coupon expires 2019-02-09 and is good for a single use on a Homes reservation on Airbnb. It can't be combined with any other offers or used for previous or existing reservations.

You can also find the coupon code by going to Account Settings > Payment Methods > Your Coupons.

Again my apologies for what has occurred, Jack, but I truly hope this information helps and that you are happy with the service I provided you with today , as well as with the compensation I offered you.

Have a wonderful holiday with your family in the beautiful city of Rio de Janeiro.

Thanks for being a valuable member to our community and I wish your next Airbnb experiences will be not less than amazing.

Warmest regards,

Tiago

www.airbnb.com/help

如果你英文还不错，在外企工作，你注意到那些粗体字了吗？这正是表达倾听，同理，并且通过对话沟通，提出解决方案的经典句型，简单好用，推荐收藏。当然最后200刀的赔偿嘛则是意料之外的，没想过那么多。我对沟通结果是满意的，加上之前酒店的报销，这意味着我们在里约的住宿费用基本可以被Cover掉。

事情到这里，

还没有结束！！！

甜甜的努力终于换来结果，有一家房屋是由中介机构负责租赁的，回复有房，下午可以入住---这时候已经是下午3点了。我们兴奋的抄起行李，打Uber过去，拿到快递送来的钥匙，满怀期待的找到房间，开门，把行李一股脑丢进去，准备躺在床上长舒一口气！

但眼前的实际情况是：屋子里弥漫着一股说不上来的味道，至少夹着汗味和烟味；两人坐的皮沙发上搭着灰色床单，还有一个枕头，明显是有人睡过；沙发脚边则是一双红色的篮球鞋和黑色的高跟鞋；往卧室一瞥，两个黑色行李箱大口敞开，里面的东西散乱到地板；而床上则是乱糟糟的的被窝，床头边似乎还有不明塑胶产品！

WTH？这是哪儿？走错屋了吧？我俩没好气的面面相觑，握着手里的钥匙，不知道是应该肯定还是怀疑。

没办法，只有继续在Airbnb上和中介联系，结果他查了半天，回复说：系统错误。这个房间是有人预订了，不知道为什么出现这种情况！

不！知！道！

刚刚为什么不查清楚？

对于折腾了大半天的我们来说，这样的消息简直令人崩溃……

沉默。

房间的异味让人想大吐唾沫。

但是，我们毕竟都是出来快180天的环游旅行者了，抱怨没有用，得靠沟通，摆脱困窘。

我们继续非暴力沟通，首先让中介取消订单，接着向airbnb反馈！好消息是：甜甜也获得了100刀的补偿！而我的账户另外一个客服又补偿了我100刀，加上之前Tiago的补偿，总共400刀！于是我们果断放弃在里约住民宿，直接看酒店，贵也是没有办法的事情了，反正有人买单了。

【后记】

我和Tiago还不忘非暴力沟通者之间的惺惺相惜：

Hi Tiago,

Obviously from this email, you have been working hard today to make things right and guests happy again. Thanks to your professional work and timely support.

Fortunately we are now settled down in Rio and try to enjoy the rest of the journey.

We will continue to trust Airbnb in the future and use the coupons you give.

Best,

Jack

既然人家帮忙了，也赔偿了，就不要揪着不愉快的经历继续，公司大了什么乱七八糟不可控制的事情都可能发生。我好好的夸了Tiago一番，因为他scratch my back, 我也会scratch his back，中文就是互相帮衬，万一他的领导看见了这封邮件，对他的危机公关能力是一种肯定。

Tiago也很识趣，说

Dear Jack,

You're very welcome. It's the least I could do for you!

I'm glad we could get this taken care of and you were so calm and cooperative throughout which is greatly appreciated!

It is through fantastic guests such as yourself , that we have such a vibrant community!

I wish you all the best,

Tiago

至此里约airbnb沟通结束，这几乎花了我们一整个白天，过程的确心力交瘁。要克制住内心随时爆发的火山真是不容易！不过还好我们都最终互相理解，表达关切，提出问题和需求，双方协商解决。这就是非暴力沟通，不仅出现在课堂和书本里，生活真的需要它。《非暴力沟通》强烈推荐大家春节假期读一读，试一试，受益一辈子！

【题外】

甜甜找到两家评价还不错的酒店让我选，我看了看图片，自然是选便宜的那家。

我们把airbnb钥匙丢在楼下物管，又风风火火的打Uber奔往酒店。开了一会我才注意到，这家酒店在山上！

车子驶向一座贫民窟，我心里低估，这不会在上面吧？可是Google地图显示方向正确。越往上走，心里越沉不住：众所周知里约的贫民窟里时有犯罪和火拼发生，我们可不想偶遇这样的事情。

车子开到半山腰，就是找不到酒店，司机也不会英语，我们只好停下来问路人。

几经周折找到酒店电话，原来在一条岔路口上去。大门紧锁，仿佛是在防卫什么，如果不是工作人员出来开门，我真的怀疑这是一家精品酒店。

惴惴不安的我俩，拖着疲惫的身心和行李，被一个小光头的酒店服务生接待。“Hello，Welcome！”谢天谢地，他会说英语！随后这名叫Jackson的小伙子带我们参观了酒店，我和甜甜才放下心来，

最惊艳的是，这里的露台可以直接眺望远处的面包山和基督山！

看到右上角的俯视大地的基督像么？

行李放好，时间尚早。明天要去基督山，原本是要在城中的一个车站乘坐面包车上山的；但我机智的发现半山腰的酒店离基督山很近了啊，明早就不用6点起床去赶车，我们可以走路去啊！我提议独自出去探探路，顺便运动运动，一个小时就可以往返。

落实了酒店住处，出门走路也是愉快的，上山的路虽然辛苦，但沿途遇到警察和其他的跑步者点头微笑，我安心不少。

路上风景也是不错，俯瞰整个海湾。

然鹅，我还是对出发前的判断失误了！原本往返一个小时变成单边1个多小时，还没走到山门卖票的地方。

此时天色已晚，而山里居然没有路灯！这是一个人作死的道路。

怎么办？回去，可能还要花一个多小时，且没有路灯。周围各种动物的叫声开始此起彼伏……我决定继续往前走，到了山顶售票处肯定有下山的车，到时候碰碰运气搭个顺风车了。

到达山门入口处，还好看到有车往山下走，我挥手试图拦住一辆，

“唰！”

再伸手，

“唰！”

三伸手，

“唰！”

但这次我注意到了里面并没有坐满人，于是记得《哈佛大学最受欢迎的谈判课》里有一招，望着远去的车子的后视镜，什么都不要做。

车子，缓缓停下来啦！具体为什么，你要去看那本书了。

我赶快小步跑上去，和我打招呼的是看上去皮肤黝黑扎着辫子的本地姑娘，

“Hello，Are you okay?” 她友好的问。

我肯定是抓住救命稻草一般，急切的表达了我错误预估了上山时间，走路现在回不去，问能否搭个顺风车？眼神相对，真诚链接上了。她回头问问了身边的人，似乎在确认什么，然后转过来说：“Hop On！”

我迅速抓开车门，一屁股坐上，划好车门。“Bang!”车门紧缩，车子出发，我才长舒一口气！

随后就是各种搞笑的对话，原来她们英语也不咋地，问我是不是Jacky Chan（成龙），我说你猜对了一半。随后又用我问她们是否会西班牙语，后来才知道这是个很笨的问题，葡萄牙和西班牙本身就是邻居，语言也差不多。于是我蹩脚的跟她们对话，发音肯定又问题，逗的她们哈哈大笑。随后我又请教她们葡萄牙语“谢谢”和“非常谢谢”，一会肯定用得着啊！

车子下山，窗外已是暗黑，车内却是愉快的氛围。很快到了分开的地方，

“姆于多啊不里噶多！”这是我新学会的葡萄牙语“非常谢谢！” 望着远去的车子，这次我伸出手使劲向她们挥！真心感谢，否则我真不知道怎么回来了。

美好的事情总是伴随着痛苦，好像上帝的脚下就是贫民窟。

明天去看上帝。

我发誓这幅图是在我历经千辛万苦回到酒店才看到的。明明出发的时候只有1.8公里啊？怎么变长了3倍距离？

---

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